1. Deut 6:4 – 9 Love God
2. Leviticus 19: 9 – 19 Love Neighbor/Self
3. Matthew 22: 34 – 40 (to Pharisee) Love God/Neighbor/Self
4. Mark 12: 28 – 34 (to Scribe) Love God/Neighbor/Self
5. Luke 10: 25 – 28 (to Lawyer) Love God/Neighbor/Self
6. Romans 13: 8 – 10 Love Neighbor/Self
7. Galatians 5: 7 – 15 Love Neighbor/Self
8. James 2: 1 – 9 Love Neighbor/Self
Deuteronomy and Leviticus are just the beginning. I have 6 more scriptures that repeat the main theme of loving your neighbor as yourself. In all three of the canonical gospels it is the same story, but with different details. In Matthew, Jesus is talking to a Pharisee. In Mark, he is talking to a Scribe. In Luke, he is talking to a Lawyer. These three passages, Matthew, Mark, and Luke, each use what Jesus calls the great commandments – to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself. He chose these commandments out of all the laws.
The next three scripture passages only include the second commandment – to love your neighbor as yourself. These passages are Romans 13:8, Galatians 5: 7 – 15, and James 2: 1 – 9.
Most often when these passages are used it is to talk about loving God or loving neighbor. That is what is being taught by the original writers. Today I want to talk about Loving our Self. The assumption in these passages is that you love yourself. The love that is being referred to here means to have affection for and to care for.
It is taken for granted in these scriptures that we have affection for ourselves and that we care for ourselves. From that basis, we are to understand how to take care for our neighbor.
Taking this love of self for granted is a dangerous thing. We are taught to be critical of ourselves as well as of others. We are marketed to that we are not good looking enough, smart enough, adventurous enough, healthy enough, tall enough, rich enough, buff enough, thin enough, man enough, woman enough … and the list goes on. Magazines, billboards, TV commercials, movies, books all let us know that we aren't what or who we should be.
What does it mean to care for ourselves? Do we take time to communicate with our Divine Beloved? Do we take time to eat well? Do we hold ourselves when we are sad or hurt? Do we forgive ourselves when we make mistakes?
Loving yourself is different than having pride. I remember a conversation I had with a pastor of mine a long time ago. I was beating myself up for some mistake I made. I just couldn't let go of the fact that I did whatever horrendous thing I did. It probably wasn't that horrendous, but I was very critical of myself. If my walk didn't match my talk I repented in no uncertain terms. So I turned to my pastor to help me through this and she told me that I needed to repent. Now, I had already repented of my action. What she wanted me to do was to repent from not letting go. She told me that self hate was just as much a sin of pride and ego as arrogance because in both cases the subject was entirely about me.
Here's a lesson we can learn from David. It is in 2 Samuel, the 12th chapter. One of the stories of David really messing up is when he had sex with Uriah's wife, Bathsheba, and then he sent Uriah out to the front of the battle so that he would be killed. Bathsheba became pregnant from that encounter and gave birth. The story continues …
The Lord struck the child that Uriah's wife bore to David, and it became very ill. David therefore pleaded with God for the child; David fasted, and went in and lay all night on the ground. The elders of his house stood beside him, urging him to rise from the ground; but he would not, nor did he eat food with them. On the seventh day the child died. And the servants of David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead; for they said, "While the child was still alive, we spoke to him, and he did not listen to us; how then can we tell him the child is dead? He may do himself some harm." But when David saw that his servants were whispering together, he perceived that the child was dead; and David said to his servants, "Is the child dead?" They said, "He is dead." Then David rose from the ground, washed, anointed himself, and changed his clothes. He went into the house of the Lord, and worshiped; he then went to his own house; and when he asked, they set food before him and he ate. Then his servants said to him, "What is this thing that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while it was alive; but when the child died, you rose and ate food." He said, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, "Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me, and the child may live.' But now he is dead; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me."
David was taking action, pleading with God to spare his baby. In this story God does not do so. But when the baby dies, the servants expect David to be so grief-stricken that he hurts himself or maybe kills himself. They are confused as to why he would want to eat now that the baby is dead. But David learned early on that you have to let go. You have to repent, which he did, you make intercession, and then you let go. David here is loving himself. He knows it was his actions that brought about this terrible consequence, and he does what he knows how to do to try to fix the situation, but when it turns out for the worst he gets up, dusts himself off, and hopefully learns from his mistake. He cares for himself by eating and anointing himself. He worships and he takes off his stinky clothes and puts on clean clothes. All that may be easier said than done, but there's a lesson in it.
What are the obstacles that keep you from loving yourself? Do your ideals not match your actions? Have you been told that you aren't worth loving? Do you not forgive yourself for making mistakes?
The question we have been asking all Lent is "how has loved changed your world?" Loving yourself will change your world. I guarantee that. It will help you to be more confident with out that nasty arrogance that false love provides. It will help you care for your soul. It will help you see through the marketing of self-hate that we are bombarded with every minute of every day. It will help you not resort to self loathing, but rather to forgive yourself. It will also help you love your neighbor. Loving yourself is the foundation of loving others. Sure we can be kind to others and sacrifice ourselves for others, but without love we are told it is worth nothing. We are to share ourselves with others from a place of love, and that love begins with loving ourselves.
What are the obstacles that keep you from loving yourself? Can you name them or are they embedded and difficult to name?
How do these obstacles keep us from loving our neighbor?
How do these obstacles keep us from loving our Divine Beloved?
How does or how will loving yourself change your world?
How do you want to love yourself better?
Is it easier to love yourself when you are connected to your Divine Beloved?
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Consciously Close
Mark 10:32 - 45
This is the first Sunday of Lent, traditionally a season of self-examination, prayer, fasting and works of love.
As we begin our 40 day journey, I want to slow down the impulse to jump in with both feet. If these next 40 days are to correspond to other spiritual quests that involved 40 days or 40 years, it seems best to me to be conscious of what we do and why. The 40 years that the Israelites walked through the wilderness and the 40 days that Jesus spent after being whisked away to the desert were not well planned spiritual events on a church liturgical calendar. They were foisted upon our unsuspecting heroes. We have the benefit of being able to look back and reflect.
Mark 9:33 – 37 records an earlier conversation with a similar theme to the passage in Mark 10. It is about who is the greatest and Jesus uses a child as an example. The disciples had a hard time learning the lesson that Jesus wasn't calling them to power, he was calling them to relationship. The example of the children wasn't to teach his disciples to be totally dependent on God as children are on their parents. Jesus is teaching about being welcoming – "Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me."
In our text today James and John want to be Jesus' right and left hand guys. This time Jesus uses the example of being a servant. Here he says, "Whoever wishes to become great amoung you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first amoung you must be servant of all." I think the teaching here is not "how to be great in 2 easy lessons." I think the point is that what they are wishing for is wrong. They are looking at the prevailing power structure in their society, one where might makes right and if you have enough money you can have power and privilege too and they seek to mimic it in their own community. Jesus is teaching that the whole set-up of society is wrong.
I have been meditating on this dynamic of the disciples to seek power and the tradition of Lent which is based in self-denial and suffering for the sake of purity. One seems to be the flip side of the other. In order for us to not behave in a power hungry manner we will deny ourselves. I know that for some Lent is a powerful ritual of intentional self-examination. But for others it is just another way to feel defeated and not good enough. I don't believe the God of Love asks people who have meager resources to fast from nourishment. I don't believe the God of Love asks those of us who have been beaten down by the system to flagellate themselves ... to punish themselves ... to think less of themselves ... for the sake of holiness and to be close to Jesus.
When the disciples seek to be great, Jesus tells them that they need to take the posture of a servant and to welcome children. These teachings aren't about how to be close to your Divine Beloved, they are teachings against striving for greatness and power.
What is the point of Lent? I don't want to take away anyone's ritual, but I do want to challenge the why and the how. When someone tends toward some kind of excess, then Lent might be just the right opportunity to examine that and take an initiative toward correcting it. If we forget to be prayerful or to do works of love, then Lent is a good time to begin again the practice of prayer and good works. But fasting, prayer and good works aren't the point of Lent. Feeling bad about yourself is not the point of Lent. Feeling good about how bad you feel about yourself should not be the point of Lent.
I think being consciously close to Jesus is the point of Lent. The hunger from fasting, the concentration of prayer, and the sacrifice of good works are supposed to remind us to walk consciously close to Jesus. Hunger itself isn't holy. Depriving yourself from something you love doesn't bring you closer to God. What brings you closer to God is walking closer to God.
Does a temporary abstinence from something help to remind you to fix your thoughts on what Philippians teaches ... "whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise"? Fixing our thoughts on these things helps us walk closer to Jesus.
James and John – the brothers who asked Jesus if they could sit at his right hand and his left hand – they asked the wrong question. The disciples who were arguing about who would be the greatest – they were asking the wrong question. But why were they asking these questions? What was really motivating them? Was it the quest for power? Was it the desire for fame? There may have been some of that. But once they realized Jesus wasn't in it for the fame and the power and that likely they would receive none either, why did they continue to follow?
I believe that the requests the followers made were misguided attempts to emulate the Messiah. I think what they wanted most of all was to be as close as possible to Jesus. They were still in the learning phase of what that meant and the best way to go about it. They didn't yet have the emotional or spiritual tools to be able to tell Jesus how much they loved him and wanted to be like him ... how often they wanted to be near him ... how afraid they were to be without him.
For us, walking with Jesus takes a different form. We cannot physically walk down the road with our Messiah. We can't ask him questions face to face. Wouldn't that be great to be able to do ... even if our questions were wrong? He would be right there and yet, doesn't it happen that even when someone is "right there" that sometime we end up still not being with them. Here's a question you don't have tell me the answer to ... how many times during this service have you phased out? Even though you are sitting in your chair in this room, how much of the time have you been somewhere else? I'm not bringing this up to criticize. It happens to me too. I phase in and out ... I come and go even though I'm right here.
This kind of thing happens to us everywhere. We can be with our spouse, our kids, our bestest of best friends and still, we are not always conscious of where we are and who we're with.
Often we even phase in and out of paying attention to ourselves. If Jesus were here amoung us, if he was a member of this congregation, eventually we would take him for granted at least some of the time ... just like we do now.
This time of Lent, however you practice it, is a time to draw close to Jesus. This is a time to stay in the room with him and with yourself. The disciples got one thing right ... they may have asked the wrong questions and not understood a lot of the parables ... but they loved Jesus and they kept walking with him as close as they could. James and John wanted to be as close to Jesus as possible. They didn't care which one of them was on the right hand and which was on the left hand, but they each wanted to be able to take Jesus' hand at a moment's notice.
As consciously as you can, try to remember to walk close to Jesus. See if you can pay attention to when you phase in and out. How do you talk differently when you are walking beside the Messiah ... the Healer ... the one who is your Divine Beloved? What choices do you make that are different? Do you treat others differently when you are consciously in the presence of the God of Love?
This Christ who we worship, this man who defended those that others called sinners ... who spoke out against religious arrogance ... who willingly took a beating because he would not take back what he said and because he would not stop healing people's bodies any and every day of the week ... when you are consciously in the presence of the Christ and allow the love that you have for Jesus to flow through you, what are you like?
Jesus is a member of this congregation. Jesus sits in the midst of us. This Lent, whatever else you do, I encourage you to apply yourself to be in the presence of the God of Love as the focus of your 40 day spiritual journey.
This is the first Sunday of Lent, traditionally a season of self-examination, prayer, fasting and works of love.
As we begin our 40 day journey, I want to slow down the impulse to jump in with both feet. If these next 40 days are to correspond to other spiritual quests that involved 40 days or 40 years, it seems best to me to be conscious of what we do and why. The 40 years that the Israelites walked through the wilderness and the 40 days that Jesus spent after being whisked away to the desert were not well planned spiritual events on a church liturgical calendar. They were foisted upon our unsuspecting heroes. We have the benefit of being able to look back and reflect.
Mark 9:33 – 37 records an earlier conversation with a similar theme to the passage in Mark 10. It is about who is the greatest and Jesus uses a child as an example. The disciples had a hard time learning the lesson that Jesus wasn't calling them to power, he was calling them to relationship. The example of the children wasn't to teach his disciples to be totally dependent on God as children are on their parents. Jesus is teaching about being welcoming – "Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me."
In our text today James and John want to be Jesus' right and left hand guys. This time Jesus uses the example of being a servant. Here he says, "Whoever wishes to become great amoung you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first amoung you must be servant of all." I think the teaching here is not "how to be great in 2 easy lessons." I think the point is that what they are wishing for is wrong. They are looking at the prevailing power structure in their society, one where might makes right and if you have enough money you can have power and privilege too and they seek to mimic it in their own community. Jesus is teaching that the whole set-up of society is wrong.
I have been meditating on this dynamic of the disciples to seek power and the tradition of Lent which is based in self-denial and suffering for the sake of purity. One seems to be the flip side of the other. In order for us to not behave in a power hungry manner we will deny ourselves. I know that for some Lent is a powerful ritual of intentional self-examination. But for others it is just another way to feel defeated and not good enough. I don't believe the God of Love asks people who have meager resources to fast from nourishment. I don't believe the God of Love asks those of us who have been beaten down by the system to flagellate themselves ... to punish themselves ... to think less of themselves ... for the sake of holiness and to be close to Jesus.
When the disciples seek to be great, Jesus tells them that they need to take the posture of a servant and to welcome children. These teachings aren't about how to be close to your Divine Beloved, they are teachings against striving for greatness and power.
What is the point of Lent? I don't want to take away anyone's ritual, but I do want to challenge the why and the how. When someone tends toward some kind of excess, then Lent might be just the right opportunity to examine that and take an initiative toward correcting it. If we forget to be prayerful or to do works of love, then Lent is a good time to begin again the practice of prayer and good works. But fasting, prayer and good works aren't the point of Lent. Feeling bad about yourself is not the point of Lent. Feeling good about how bad you feel about yourself should not be the point of Lent.
I think being consciously close to Jesus is the point of Lent. The hunger from fasting, the concentration of prayer, and the sacrifice of good works are supposed to remind us to walk consciously close to Jesus. Hunger itself isn't holy. Depriving yourself from something you love doesn't bring you closer to God. What brings you closer to God is walking closer to God.
Does a temporary abstinence from something help to remind you to fix your thoughts on what Philippians teaches ... "whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise"? Fixing our thoughts on these things helps us walk closer to Jesus.
James and John – the brothers who asked Jesus if they could sit at his right hand and his left hand – they asked the wrong question. The disciples who were arguing about who would be the greatest – they were asking the wrong question. But why were they asking these questions? What was really motivating them? Was it the quest for power? Was it the desire for fame? There may have been some of that. But once they realized Jesus wasn't in it for the fame and the power and that likely they would receive none either, why did they continue to follow?
I believe that the requests the followers made were misguided attempts to emulate the Messiah. I think what they wanted most of all was to be as close as possible to Jesus. They were still in the learning phase of what that meant and the best way to go about it. They didn't yet have the emotional or spiritual tools to be able to tell Jesus how much they loved him and wanted to be like him ... how often they wanted to be near him ... how afraid they were to be without him.
For us, walking with Jesus takes a different form. We cannot physically walk down the road with our Messiah. We can't ask him questions face to face. Wouldn't that be great to be able to do ... even if our questions were wrong? He would be right there and yet, doesn't it happen that even when someone is "right there" that sometime we end up still not being with them. Here's a question you don't have tell me the answer to ... how many times during this service have you phased out? Even though you are sitting in your chair in this room, how much of the time have you been somewhere else? I'm not bringing this up to criticize. It happens to me too. I phase in and out ... I come and go even though I'm right here.
This kind of thing happens to us everywhere. We can be with our spouse, our kids, our bestest of best friends and still, we are not always conscious of where we are and who we're with.
Often we even phase in and out of paying attention to ourselves. If Jesus were here amoung us, if he was a member of this congregation, eventually we would take him for granted at least some of the time ... just like we do now.
This time of Lent, however you practice it, is a time to draw close to Jesus. This is a time to stay in the room with him and with yourself. The disciples got one thing right ... they may have asked the wrong questions and not understood a lot of the parables ... but they loved Jesus and they kept walking with him as close as they could. James and John wanted to be as close to Jesus as possible. They didn't care which one of them was on the right hand and which was on the left hand, but they each wanted to be able to take Jesus' hand at a moment's notice.
As consciously as you can, try to remember to walk close to Jesus. See if you can pay attention to when you phase in and out. How do you talk differently when you are walking beside the Messiah ... the Healer ... the one who is your Divine Beloved? What choices do you make that are different? Do you treat others differently when you are consciously in the presence of the God of Love?
This Christ who we worship, this man who defended those that others called sinners ... who spoke out against religious arrogance ... who willingly took a beating because he would not take back what he said and because he would not stop healing people's bodies any and every day of the week ... when you are consciously in the presence of the Christ and allow the love that you have for Jesus to flow through you, what are you like?
Jesus is a member of this congregation. Jesus sits in the midst of us. This Lent, whatever else you do, I encourage you to apply yourself to be in the presence of the God of Love as the focus of your 40 day spiritual journey.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Praise and Worship: For Love
Text - Psalm 100
I've been thinking a lot about praise and worship and prayer. I have conversations about these words with people and it rarely fails that we define these words differently. For some people worship includes prayer and for others it doesn't. Sometimes worship and praise are interchangeable words and sometimes they are not.
No matter what the specific definition of the words for a person, we do tend to agree that generally speaking all these words are talking about reaching toward the Sacred.
There was a time when I was very very sad and scared. I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't know how to be who I was. I didn't know who to be. Everything was all mixed up.
The church I attended at the time had two components. The first was a praise and worship time. Basically we sang for an hour. There was a song leader who had chosen the songs. We also had lots of band members. The song leader would direct the whole thing. I could be very powerful ... very moving.
Sometimes, though, the music just didn't match up to how you were feeling. One morning I was feeling quite desperate and I was hoping for some music that would help me work through my struggles. I wanted to sing a song like, this one from the book of Hosea:
Sow to yourself in righteousness
Reap in mercy, reap in mercy
Break up your fallow ground for it is time to seek the Lord
Till God comes and reigns righteousness upon you
Or this one from Psalm 42:
As the deer thirsts for the water so my soul thirsts after you
You oh Lord are my hearts desire and I long to worship you
You oh Lord are my strength and shield
To you oh Lord does my spirit yield
You alone are my hearts desire and I long to worship you
But what I got was a song that was happy. It was upbeat. Then I got another upbeat song that was less lively but still a hopeful wonderful song. I was not feeling hopeful or wonderful. I was not feeling the songs in the service. But at one point I decided that I was going to sing with all my heart. I was going to break through my own hopelessness and despair and praise God in what I called faith. I had never sung a happy song with grief in my heart and tears flowing out of my eyes before, but I did that morning.
One of the songs that I remember singing was this one. Some of you may know it with a different melody line.
I love you Lord and I lift my voice
To worship you, oh my soul rejoice
Take joy my king in what you hear
Let me be a sweet sweet sound in your ear
We exalt you
We exalt you
We exalt you
Oh God
This song helped me to break through. I realized that I could sing a song about my soul rejoicing even though it felt like I was dying because I could truthfully sing the words, "I love you, Lord." I love you. I decided that if I still knew that I loved God that that meant my soul still had something to rejoice about. All I wanted to do was to reach out to the Sacred. I wanted to take the hand of my Divine Beloved and I wanted to be wrapped in my Beloved's arms. I needed shelter and I needed acceptance. I wanted to be loved back.
Music has been a good way for me to reach out. Sometimes it isn't with words. Often I reach out with my drums. I used to reach through playing my clarinet. That was a long time ago. Some people use art or poetry. Some use dance or theatre.
It seems to me that whatever someone uses to reach past the struggle, if it isn't motivated by love it won't have the strength or stamina to fully tap in. This whole Christian journey; the reason we build and continue to be a part of a faith community; the desire to reach out and share with others; all of this has to be motivated by love.
I wanted to talk before we sing today to name a few things. First I want to name the motivation of love as being primary. Sometimes we don't feel love, but we may have a loyalty or devotion that is attached to our love that can make love more tangible. Next, I want to name that sometimes we have to push through a struggle to praise God. Struggling is important. I think being in an honest struggle is healthy. It gives us a depth to our soul and our living. I would rather struggle and push to get to another side than to pretend that there is no struggle and be silently miserable or to have the pain masked even to myself. Struggle for the sake of struggle, I think, is counter productive. But I do not want to silence my pain or anyone else's pain. I also do not want to stop praising The Holy, The Presence who loves me and wants me to be consciously close.
That morning of praise for me was powerful because I figured out I could be in that moment of contradiction and the result was that I did not die. Rather I ended up being more fully present to my Divine Beloved and to myself. I couldn't do it as just a ritual. I had to do it for love. I had to do it to be consciously close to God.
Today I want us to sing a few songs. They are the songs in the insert to the bulletin. I don't know if any of you know them. And again, I might know a different melody line, so we'll figure it out. The how of singing is not as important as the singing itself and the being together.
Our text today has one of my favourite verses - Make a joyful noise to the Lord. Love is not always pretty. It is not always harmonious. Sometimes there is dissonance or passing tones that help us figure out the direction the song needs to take. I invite you to find your voice - find a harmony part if you wish. Or let your body do whatever it wants to do ... sway or stand or sit ...
We will do each song several times through, kind of in a Lectio Divina style. My hope is that as we sing these songs repeatedly we have the opportunity to go deeper. Two of the three songs are scripturally based. The third song is a love song to God.
We are all struggling with something - some of us with many things. As we use this meditative style, praising and worshiping through song, I invite you to be present to yourself and to look for and encounter your Love. This love that I am talking about is the love that you hold in you and Love which is calling to you through the Holy Spirit or The Sacred or however you name it.
I've been thinking a lot about praise and worship and prayer. I have conversations about these words with people and it rarely fails that we define these words differently. For some people worship includes prayer and for others it doesn't. Sometimes worship and praise are interchangeable words and sometimes they are not.
No matter what the specific definition of the words for a person, we do tend to agree that generally speaking all these words are talking about reaching toward the Sacred.
There was a time when I was very very sad and scared. I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't know how to be who I was. I didn't know who to be. Everything was all mixed up.
The church I attended at the time had two components. The first was a praise and worship time. Basically we sang for an hour. There was a song leader who had chosen the songs. We also had lots of band members. The song leader would direct the whole thing. I could be very powerful ... very moving.
Sometimes, though, the music just didn't match up to how you were feeling. One morning I was feeling quite desperate and I was hoping for some music that would help me work through my struggles. I wanted to sing a song like, this one from the book of Hosea:
Sow to yourself in righteousness
Reap in mercy, reap in mercy
Break up your fallow ground for it is time to seek the Lord
Till God comes and reigns righteousness upon you
Or this one from Psalm 42:
As the deer thirsts for the water so my soul thirsts after you
You oh Lord are my hearts desire and I long to worship you
You oh Lord are my strength and shield
To you oh Lord does my spirit yield
You alone are my hearts desire and I long to worship you
But what I got was a song that was happy. It was upbeat. Then I got another upbeat song that was less lively but still a hopeful wonderful song. I was not feeling hopeful or wonderful. I was not feeling the songs in the service. But at one point I decided that I was going to sing with all my heart. I was going to break through my own hopelessness and despair and praise God in what I called faith. I had never sung a happy song with grief in my heart and tears flowing out of my eyes before, but I did that morning.
One of the songs that I remember singing was this one. Some of you may know it with a different melody line.
I love you Lord and I lift my voice
To worship you, oh my soul rejoice
Take joy my king in what you hear
Let me be a sweet sweet sound in your ear
We exalt you
We exalt you
We exalt you
Oh God
This song helped me to break through. I realized that I could sing a song about my soul rejoicing even though it felt like I was dying because I could truthfully sing the words, "I love you, Lord." I love you. I decided that if I still knew that I loved God that that meant my soul still had something to rejoice about. All I wanted to do was to reach out to the Sacred. I wanted to take the hand of my Divine Beloved and I wanted to be wrapped in my Beloved's arms. I needed shelter and I needed acceptance. I wanted to be loved back.
Music has been a good way for me to reach out. Sometimes it isn't with words. Often I reach out with my drums. I used to reach through playing my clarinet. That was a long time ago. Some people use art or poetry. Some use dance or theatre.
It seems to me that whatever someone uses to reach past the struggle, if it isn't motivated by love it won't have the strength or stamina to fully tap in. This whole Christian journey; the reason we build and continue to be a part of a faith community; the desire to reach out and share with others; all of this has to be motivated by love.
I wanted to talk before we sing today to name a few things. First I want to name the motivation of love as being primary. Sometimes we don't feel love, but we may have a loyalty or devotion that is attached to our love that can make love more tangible. Next, I want to name that sometimes we have to push through a struggle to praise God. Struggling is important. I think being in an honest struggle is healthy. It gives us a depth to our soul and our living. I would rather struggle and push to get to another side than to pretend that there is no struggle and be silently miserable or to have the pain masked even to myself. Struggle for the sake of struggle, I think, is counter productive. But I do not want to silence my pain or anyone else's pain. I also do not want to stop praising The Holy, The Presence who loves me and wants me to be consciously close.
That morning of praise for me was powerful because I figured out I could be in that moment of contradiction and the result was that I did not die. Rather I ended up being more fully present to my Divine Beloved and to myself. I couldn't do it as just a ritual. I had to do it for love. I had to do it to be consciously close to God.
Today I want us to sing a few songs. They are the songs in the insert to the bulletin. I don't know if any of you know them. And again, I might know a different melody line, so we'll figure it out. The how of singing is not as important as the singing itself and the being together.
Our text today has one of my favourite verses - Make a joyful noise to the Lord. Love is not always pretty. It is not always harmonious. Sometimes there is dissonance or passing tones that help us figure out the direction the song needs to take. I invite you to find your voice - find a harmony part if you wish. Or let your body do whatever it wants to do ... sway or stand or sit ...
We will do each song several times through, kind of in a Lectio Divina style. My hope is that as we sing these songs repeatedly we have the opportunity to go deeper. Two of the three songs are scripturally based. The third song is a love song to God.
We are all struggling with something - some of us with many things. As we use this meditative style, praising and worshiping through song, I invite you to be present to yourself and to look for and encounter your Love. This love that I am talking about is the love that you hold in you and Love which is calling to you through the Holy Spirit or The Sacred or however you name it.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
A Certain Type of Exodus - story collecting
A Certain Type of Exodus is the story of faith in the LGBTQ community. While many LGBTQ are people of faith, we struggle with how our religion views us. We struggle with how God sees us. We struggle to either walk away from the faith we have always known, or stay within our faith as a gay/lesbian/transgender member. Our stories of exodus give us the ability to find an accepting God, whether within our faith or not.
Loralei Matisse is currently collecting stories from LGBTQ members of different faith organizations to place within an anthology. The goal for this book will be to help open (and in many cases, continue) the conversations within faith community. It will also be part of a healing retreat designed by Ken Phillips (currently in concept phase). They both hope to heal the wounds we receive coming out in our faith - which can be more trying than coming out to family.
Please contact her at loraleimatisse@gmail.com with questions or stories.
THANK YOU!
Loralei Matisse is currently collecting stories from LGBTQ members of different faith organizations to place within an anthology. The goal for this book will be to help open (and in many cases, continue) the conversations within faith community. It will also be part of a healing retreat designed by Ken Phillips (currently in concept phase). They both hope to heal the wounds we receive coming out in our faith - which can be more trying than coming out to family.
Please contact her at loraleimatisse@gmail.com with questions or stories.
THANK YOU!
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Pain and Words Matter - Sermon from February 8, 2009
Matthew 18:1 - 7
When I was training to be a hospice chaplain one of the first instructions they gave was, "If someone tells you they feel pain, believe them."
How often we dismiss someone's pain as being "not that bad" or "in their head." Often when someone says they are in pain - physical, emotional, spiritual, or intellectual pain - judgment follows. The person is seen as "looking for attention" or not being "tough enough." The more I thought about the instruction, "If someone tells you they feel pain, believe them," the more I realized that this obvious thing to say was actually necessary.
How sad. How amazingly sad. What a shock it was to realize that words acknowledging pain too often become immediately overlaid with judgment.
Years ago I started to hear words of pain being expressed by people of colour regarding Biblical and religious language. I heard my dark-skinned colleagues and friends share that white and light being good and black and dark being bad was not helpful to them. Not all people of colour were saying this, but there were voices in the room agreeing that this language was painful.
I have heard lots of white people dismiss or negate that pain saying these sisters and brothers are being too sensitive or that they are missing the point of the metaphor. I have also heard justification of these metaphors based on facts like, light really does help us see in the dark. And while it is true that light helps us see in the dark, it is equally true that when the light is in my eyes I put on "shades."
A metaphor is just a metaphor. It is limited. We need lots of metaphors of different kinds to understand the fullness of things like "God" or "holiness." Unfortunately Christianity is overloaded on the metaphors for light and white. I think this is true because of systemic racism. The power structure privileging light skinned people goes way back.
We could deconstruct the historical foundations of white privilege. We could talk about how worshiping the sun and light has grounded us in a pattern of systemic racism. All those things are interesting and important to me. If they are to you too then maybe we can develop a six week study on the foundations of racism in religion.
But for today, this 2nd Sunday of Black History month, I want to talk about the pain I hear people feeling today. I want us to believe it when someone says the words in our worship hurt them.
In the 1940's, Kenneth and Mamie Clark, did a study on racial biases in education. You have met both Dr. Kenneth Clark and Dr. Mamie Clark, in the bios I read of them from Columbia University. You have also heard some of Dr. Kenneth Clark's words in the excerpt read from Dark Ghetto.
Their most famous study was the doll study. In this study, African American children were shown two white dolls and two black dolls. They were each asked question about the dolls such as, which doll would you like to play with and which is the nice doll? They were also asked what colour the dolls were. Finally they were asked which doll they looked most like. Overwhelmingly these African American children chose the white dolls as the nice dolls and preferable to play with and when they were asked to identify which doll they looked most like, they became upset, some did not answer and some left the room. This study was used in the 1954 Brown vs Board of Education case and was instrumental in bringing about the ruling that public school segregation is unconstitutional.
But I said I was going to talk about today. In 2005, Kiri Davis recreated the Clark doll study. Ms. Davis is an African American filmmaker. At the time she filmed this study she was 18 years old. She created a seven-minute documentary called, A Girl Like Me. I'd like to show you a clip from that.
The first time I saw this, I was devastated. The devastation only deepens with each sequential viewing. This is the pain I heard in those conversations when we talked about the light and dark metaphors in religious language. This is the pain that my sisters and brothers of colour were talking about. I had to hear it from children to get it in my gut. My head was processing like crazy but to feel it I had to see this.
This documentary shows the impact of our culture, and I believe that our language in worship is part of that. When kids are surrounded with the notion that white is good and black is bad it easily become transferred to people and what colour they are. The metaphor of the sun bursting through the darkness so that we can see in the daytime is fine on its own, but it isn't on its own. This language is accompanied by the history of slavery in this country and by Jim Crow laws and lynchings and nooses being hung in trees as a supposed joke at a high school in Jena, Louisiana. Nothing is done in a vacuum.
The metaphor of our need for shelter from the bright harsh sun is rarely talked about. Metaphors about flowers and vegetables in their surprising array of colours are not used much either. The metaphor of the brown earth from which our creation story says we were made - that doesn't get much play either.
It is in my heart to write songs and liturgy that explore all these amazing images. It is also in my heart to eliminate the harmful images as best I can. Here is the Streams songbook that I use at home when picking songs. I have gone through the book and noted the light/white and dark/night metaphors. I don't use those songs. I think these metaphors have become stumbling blocks. In verse 7 of our reading in Matthew today it says, "Woe to the world because of stumbling blocks! Occasions for stumbling are bound to come, but woe to the one by whom the stumbling block comes!"
Is my choice a little over the top? Some say that it is. I don't think I'm quite over the top yet though. I don't think I've come close to the top of this mountain. If the words that I use hurt somebody, if the words that I use cause someone to stumble - and by stumble I don't mean sin - If what I do causes someone pain, I want to know that and I want to stop. Woe to me if I don't.
More needs to be done than just altering these images of dark and light, but if I can do this small thing, it might make a huge difference in someone's life. More liturgy needs to be written ... more songs need to be written that explore the abundance of colour images. I am working on that too.
This is important to me at my core. It drives me and it impacts the choices that I make. The words that we say matter. People's pain matter.
When I was training to be a hospice chaplain one of the first instructions they gave was, "If someone tells you they feel pain, believe them."
How often we dismiss someone's pain as being "not that bad" or "in their head." Often when someone says they are in pain - physical, emotional, spiritual, or intellectual pain - judgment follows. The person is seen as "looking for attention" or not being "tough enough." The more I thought about the instruction, "If someone tells you they feel pain, believe them," the more I realized that this obvious thing to say was actually necessary.
How sad. How amazingly sad. What a shock it was to realize that words acknowledging pain too often become immediately overlaid with judgment.
Years ago I started to hear words of pain being expressed by people of colour regarding Biblical and religious language. I heard my dark-skinned colleagues and friends share that white and light being good and black and dark being bad was not helpful to them. Not all people of colour were saying this, but there were voices in the room agreeing that this language was painful.
I have heard lots of white people dismiss or negate that pain saying these sisters and brothers are being too sensitive or that they are missing the point of the metaphor. I have also heard justification of these metaphors based on facts like, light really does help us see in the dark. And while it is true that light helps us see in the dark, it is equally true that when the light is in my eyes I put on "shades."
A metaphor is just a metaphor. It is limited. We need lots of metaphors of different kinds to understand the fullness of things like "God" or "holiness." Unfortunately Christianity is overloaded on the metaphors for light and white. I think this is true because of systemic racism. The power structure privileging light skinned people goes way back.
We could deconstruct the historical foundations of white privilege. We could talk about how worshiping the sun and light has grounded us in a pattern of systemic racism. All those things are interesting and important to me. If they are to you too then maybe we can develop a six week study on the foundations of racism in religion.
But for today, this 2nd Sunday of Black History month, I want to talk about the pain I hear people feeling today. I want us to believe it when someone says the words in our worship hurt them.
In the 1940's, Kenneth and Mamie Clark, did a study on racial biases in education. You have met both Dr. Kenneth Clark and Dr. Mamie Clark, in the bios I read of them from Columbia University. You have also heard some of Dr. Kenneth Clark's words in the excerpt read from Dark Ghetto.
Their most famous study was the doll study. In this study, African American children were shown two white dolls and two black dolls. They were each asked question about the dolls such as, which doll would you like to play with and which is the nice doll? They were also asked what colour the dolls were. Finally they were asked which doll they looked most like. Overwhelmingly these African American children chose the white dolls as the nice dolls and preferable to play with and when they were asked to identify which doll they looked most like, they became upset, some did not answer and some left the room. This study was used in the 1954 Brown vs Board of Education case and was instrumental in bringing about the ruling that public school segregation is unconstitutional.
But I said I was going to talk about today. In 2005, Kiri Davis recreated the Clark doll study. Ms. Davis is an African American filmmaker. At the time she filmed this study she was 18 years old. She created a seven-minute documentary called, A Girl Like Me. I'd like to show you a clip from that.
The first time I saw this, I was devastated. The devastation only deepens with each sequential viewing. This is the pain I heard in those conversations when we talked about the light and dark metaphors in religious language. This is the pain that my sisters and brothers of colour were talking about. I had to hear it from children to get it in my gut. My head was processing like crazy but to feel it I had to see this.
This documentary shows the impact of our culture, and I believe that our language in worship is part of that. When kids are surrounded with the notion that white is good and black is bad it easily become transferred to people and what colour they are. The metaphor of the sun bursting through the darkness so that we can see in the daytime is fine on its own, but it isn't on its own. This language is accompanied by the history of slavery in this country and by Jim Crow laws and lynchings and nooses being hung in trees as a supposed joke at a high school in Jena, Louisiana. Nothing is done in a vacuum.
The metaphor of our need for shelter from the bright harsh sun is rarely talked about. Metaphors about flowers and vegetables in their surprising array of colours are not used much either. The metaphor of the brown earth from which our creation story says we were made - that doesn't get much play either.
It is in my heart to write songs and liturgy that explore all these amazing images. It is also in my heart to eliminate the harmful images as best I can. Here is the Streams songbook that I use at home when picking songs. I have gone through the book and noted the light/white and dark/night metaphors. I don't use those songs. I think these metaphors have become stumbling blocks. In verse 7 of our reading in Matthew today it says, "Woe to the world because of stumbling blocks! Occasions for stumbling are bound to come, but woe to the one by whom the stumbling block comes!"
Is my choice a little over the top? Some say that it is. I don't think I'm quite over the top yet though. I don't think I've come close to the top of this mountain. If the words that I use hurt somebody, if the words that I use cause someone to stumble - and by stumble I don't mean sin - If what I do causes someone pain, I want to know that and I want to stop. Woe to me if I don't.
More needs to be done than just altering these images of dark and light, but if I can do this small thing, it might make a huge difference in someone's life. More liturgy needs to be written ... more songs need to be written that explore the abundance of colour images. I am working on that too.
This is important to me at my core. It drives me and it impacts the choices that I make. The words that we say matter. People's pain matter.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Guest Post at Womanist Musings
Hi all,
Renee at Womanist Musings has graciously accepted a guest post that I wrote. Check out her blog. It's great. While you're there, you can read my guest post.
Renee at Womanist Musings has graciously accepted a guest post that I wrote. Check out her blog. It's great. While you're there, you can read my guest post.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
The Filter
As I was walking the 3/4 mile trip from the train to my work yesterday, I was feeling a pressure of resistance to being mindful and to participating in the sacrality of all creation. I was struggling to "think on these things - whatever is holy and just; whatever is of good report; etc." I was struggling to find happiness or joy.
I started to breathe with intention. I began to imagine myself breathing life. As I began to "see" molecules of life in the atmosphere surrounding me, and I was about to inhale, I also saw a plethora of molecules that were toxic. They were molecules of greed and selfish ambition. They were molecules of blame and trickery. They were molecules of every kind of violence. I realized that I could not inhale because as much as I wanted Life, there were too many toxins - too much pollution. I could not breathe all that pollution.
Then I was shown a filter to wear. That seemed reasonable. I still had about half of my journey left and I wanted to get to work with a little Life in me. It was a filter that would keep the toxins out and allow me to breathe in Life. I took a deep breathe, but I was only able to take the one breath before the surface of the filter was clogged. It was covered with the pollution. No more Life could get through. Again, I could not breathe.
I did not know if I should take off the filter or keep it in place. I started to consider the problem and was reminded that it wasn't enough to take the toxins off the filter and throw them away. The toxins needed to be dissolved. This perplexed me. Also, I was only a few blocks from work. I saw the image of the toxins dissolving and asked what would do that. To be honest, I didn't like the answer at first. I was not ready for the answer. I saw that it was Love that would dissolve the toxins. Love. I didn't want to Love. Not then. Not there. But in order for me to breathe Life I saw that I had to access Love.
Since I did not have a reservoir of Love within me at the moment I called out to the Source - to the Presence - and asked for Love to be applied so that I could breathe. Even though I did not have a reservoir of Love within me I knew that I did not want to be walking around without Life. I gathered my strength, because Love is not a tame energy. Love found the toxins that were on the filter and worked to dissolve them. I was better able to breathe Life. Love also found the toxins within me and frankly, it is still working to dissolve them.
I started to breathe with intention. I began to imagine myself breathing life. As I began to "see" molecules of life in the atmosphere surrounding me, and I was about to inhale, I also saw a plethora of molecules that were toxic. They were molecules of greed and selfish ambition. They were molecules of blame and trickery. They were molecules of every kind of violence. I realized that I could not inhale because as much as I wanted Life, there were too many toxins - too much pollution. I could not breathe all that pollution.
Then I was shown a filter to wear. That seemed reasonable. I still had about half of my journey left and I wanted to get to work with a little Life in me. It was a filter that would keep the toxins out and allow me to breathe in Life. I took a deep breathe, but I was only able to take the one breath before the surface of the filter was clogged. It was covered with the pollution. No more Life could get through. Again, I could not breathe.
I did not know if I should take off the filter or keep it in place. I started to consider the problem and was reminded that it wasn't enough to take the toxins off the filter and throw them away. The toxins needed to be dissolved. This perplexed me. Also, I was only a few blocks from work. I saw the image of the toxins dissolving and asked what would do that. To be honest, I didn't like the answer at first. I was not ready for the answer. I saw that it was Love that would dissolve the toxins. Love. I didn't want to Love. Not then. Not there. But in order for me to breathe Life I saw that I had to access Love.
Since I did not have a reservoir of Love within me at the moment I called out to the Source - to the Presence - and asked for Love to be applied so that I could breathe. Even though I did not have a reservoir of Love within me I knew that I did not want to be walking around without Life. I gathered my strength, because Love is not a tame energy. Love found the toxins that were on the filter and worked to dissolve them. I was better able to breathe Life. Love also found the toxins within me and frankly, it is still working to dissolve them.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Times of Refreshing - Sermon from 01-18-09
Texts: Psalm 139 & "God is Able" by Dr. King
Times of Refreshing
Have you ever felt wore out? Have you ever felt done in ... wanting to escape somewhere or hide? Have you ever just been tired? I think Jesus got wore out sometimes. I think Dr. King did too. Tomorrow is our nation's official day of remembrance of Dr. King. I remember him mostly because of his words - his sermons and speeches. I remember him through pictures too. I was almost 5 years old when Dr. King was assassinated. Not old enough to have any first hand memories of him.
A couple of years ago I visited The National Civil Rights Museum, which is at the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, TN. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I saw the room where Dr. King stayed and the balcony where he was shot. I saw the past frozen in time. It was frightening and inspiring.
As I remember the bed in the room where Dr. King stayed, I imagine a man who might have been tired and worn down by his work and by the expectations made of him. I imagine a man who would not give up; a man who was determined; a man who believed in the ability of God. I imagine him sleeping at the Lorraine Motel. This was not the first time Dr. King stayed in the Lorraine Motel. This was where he stayed when he came to Memphis. It's kind of like Jesus staying with Mary, Martha, and Lazarus when he was in Bethany. There are some places you go. You go there to rest. You go there for friendly faces. You go there because they are the ones who are willing to take you in.
But there are times, in my experience, that it feels like there is no where to turn. There are times when you can't find someone to take you in. What do we do then? Where do we turn? At the risk of sounding religious ... I turn to God. When I need a time of refreshing, I run to the well of Love.
Psalm 139 refreshes me. Psalm 139 reminds me that I am not some handicraft of a faraway Almighty Being, but I am lovingly designed by my Divine Beloved. I am not an assembly line product, but I am the offspring of the All That Is. I am also reminded that I am always in the presence of the one who is The Presence. There is nowhere that I can go to run from Love. And, there is nowhere that Love would rather be than with us.
When I am in the midst of feeling inside out or burned out, if I can remember that God seeks me, that God wants to know me, if I can remember that, then maybe the weight of the atrocities of the world, the frustrations of my life will be lifted for long enough so that I can breathe in hope and life and peace and joy. If I can remember the gloriousness of my Divine Beloved, maybe I can be lifted outside of myself long enough to bask in wonder and awe. If I can remember how deep the love of God runs and the riches of the Grace of God, then maybe I can allow myself a moment of ecstasy.
If God is truly able, as Dr. King says God is, and if God is truly awesome, as the psalmist says God is, then I know that I can persevere. The psalmist says, "This is too much, too wonderful. I can't take it all in!" Dr. King says, "Why be afraid? God is able. ... Why despair? God is able. ... Why be anxious? Come what may, God is able."
Oh that I could remember that all the time. When the chips are down, God is too wonderful to take in and God is able. When I'm in pain - physical, spiritual, mental, emotional pain - God is too wonderful to take in and God is able. When I'm confused, God is too wonderful to take in and God is able. When I'm angry, God is too wonderful to take in and God is able.
How can we enter into the moment of ecstasy that will bring us out of our chaos and into hope? Dr. King talks about the inner stability of faith being Jesus' chief legacy to us. We have what he calls an inner equilibrium to stand tall amid the trials and burdens of life. We have the peace that Jesus breathes on us and that we can inhale – yes, we are supposed to inhale – so that it fills us.
The ecstasy of the psalmist. The assurance of Dr. King. These are ways of thinking about God ... ways of believing Spirit ... ways of connecting to that which is Unseen and Permanent.
Dr. King didn't live his life just to be murdered and have it all be over. He lived his life in the same legacy that we live our lives ... the legacy of Jesus the Christ. We are partners with Dr. King and the psalmist in Love, Hope, Joy, and Peace. We are partners with Dr. King and the psalmist in God being able. We are partners with Dr. King and the psalmist in God being too much and too wonderful.
Remembering Dr. King is a time of refreshing. You know I'm all about feeling your pain and not denying realities, even hard ones. But I think it's important to remember that the ecstasy of Love and the ability of The All is reality too. We are so much more than what we see - of ourselves and our world. This week I urge you to reach out with your spirit and find Glory. Inhale the breath of Spirit ... inhale deeply. Let your mind go to a place of ecstasy. I urge you to believe that you are precious and loved; that you are sought after by your Divine Beloved. When you do that, bask in the Glory of Love.
Times of Refreshing
Have you ever felt wore out? Have you ever felt done in ... wanting to escape somewhere or hide? Have you ever just been tired? I think Jesus got wore out sometimes. I think Dr. King did too. Tomorrow is our nation's official day of remembrance of Dr. King. I remember him mostly because of his words - his sermons and speeches. I remember him through pictures too. I was almost 5 years old when Dr. King was assassinated. Not old enough to have any first hand memories of him.
A couple of years ago I visited The National Civil Rights Museum, which is at the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, TN. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I saw the room where Dr. King stayed and the balcony where he was shot. I saw the past frozen in time. It was frightening and inspiring.
As I remember the bed in the room where Dr. King stayed, I imagine a man who might have been tired and worn down by his work and by the expectations made of him. I imagine a man who would not give up; a man who was determined; a man who believed in the ability of God. I imagine him sleeping at the Lorraine Motel. This was not the first time Dr. King stayed in the Lorraine Motel. This was where he stayed when he came to Memphis. It's kind of like Jesus staying with Mary, Martha, and Lazarus when he was in Bethany. There are some places you go. You go there to rest. You go there for friendly faces. You go there because they are the ones who are willing to take you in.
But there are times, in my experience, that it feels like there is no where to turn. There are times when you can't find someone to take you in. What do we do then? Where do we turn? At the risk of sounding religious ... I turn to God. When I need a time of refreshing, I run to the well of Love.
Psalm 139 refreshes me. Psalm 139 reminds me that I am not some handicraft of a faraway Almighty Being, but I am lovingly designed by my Divine Beloved. I am not an assembly line product, but I am the offspring of the All That Is. I am also reminded that I am always in the presence of the one who is The Presence. There is nowhere that I can go to run from Love. And, there is nowhere that Love would rather be than with us.
When I am in the midst of feeling inside out or burned out, if I can remember that God seeks me, that God wants to know me, if I can remember that, then maybe the weight of the atrocities of the world, the frustrations of my life will be lifted for long enough so that I can breathe in hope and life and peace and joy. If I can remember the gloriousness of my Divine Beloved, maybe I can be lifted outside of myself long enough to bask in wonder and awe. If I can remember how deep the love of God runs and the riches of the Grace of God, then maybe I can allow myself a moment of ecstasy.
If God is truly able, as Dr. King says God is, and if God is truly awesome, as the psalmist says God is, then I know that I can persevere. The psalmist says, "This is too much, too wonderful. I can't take it all in!" Dr. King says, "Why be afraid? God is able. ... Why despair? God is able. ... Why be anxious? Come what may, God is able."
Oh that I could remember that all the time. When the chips are down, God is too wonderful to take in and God is able. When I'm in pain - physical, spiritual, mental, emotional pain - God is too wonderful to take in and God is able. When I'm confused, God is too wonderful to take in and God is able. When I'm angry, God is too wonderful to take in and God is able.
How can we enter into the moment of ecstasy that will bring us out of our chaos and into hope? Dr. King talks about the inner stability of faith being Jesus' chief legacy to us. We have what he calls an inner equilibrium to stand tall amid the trials and burdens of life. We have the peace that Jesus breathes on us and that we can inhale – yes, we are supposed to inhale – so that it fills us.
The ecstasy of the psalmist. The assurance of Dr. King. These are ways of thinking about God ... ways of believing Spirit ... ways of connecting to that which is Unseen and Permanent.
Dr. King didn't live his life just to be murdered and have it all be over. He lived his life in the same legacy that we live our lives ... the legacy of Jesus the Christ. We are partners with Dr. King and the psalmist in Love, Hope, Joy, and Peace. We are partners with Dr. King and the psalmist in God being able. We are partners with Dr. King and the psalmist in God being too much and too wonderful.
Remembering Dr. King is a time of refreshing. You know I'm all about feeling your pain and not denying realities, even hard ones. But I think it's important to remember that the ecstasy of Love and the ability of The All is reality too. We are so much more than what we see - of ourselves and our world. This week I urge you to reach out with your spirit and find Glory. Inhale the breath of Spirit ... inhale deeply. Let your mind go to a place of ecstasy. I urge you to believe that you are precious and loved; that you are sought after by your Divine Beloved. When you do that, bask in the Glory of Love.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Both And - Sermon from Dec 28, 2008
Advent and Christmas have been celebrated. New Years is around the corner. We are in a liminal space - an in-between time. At this time we tend to look back and then look forward. Some of us look more in one direction than the other.
I spent my Christmas with my family. I got to talk about some really interesting things. One of those conversations had to do with the artist Escher. Escher is an artist who is most famous for his mathematical drawings. One of his pieces is a Mobius Strip with ants on it.
My brother and I talked about the marvel of Escher's art and especially about the Mobius Strip. We discussed it with his 10 year old daughter. She was intrigued. We explained that although the Mobius Strip appears to have 2 sides, it really only has one side. As you look it, you can see that the inside is the outside and the outside is the inside. Unlike a simple loop, you can trace your finger around both the inside and the outside without lifting your finger.
John the Baptist says that Jesus was later than him, but ranks ahead of him because Jesus was before him. In the Gospel of Thomas, Jesus says that we must make the two into one, the inner like the outer, the outer like the inner, the upper like the lower, and the male and female into a single one so that there is neither. We are to make eyes in the place of an eye, a hand in the place of a hand, and so on.
I can't think of a better example of this than the Mobius Strip. What is this thing? It's simple really, and yet the mathematical implications are quite complicated. All this is, is a loop with a half-twist. A loop on its own has an inside and an outside. You can trace the inside with your finger, but you must pick up your finger to trace the outside. Add the half-twist, and the inside becomes the outside and the outside becomes the inside. The two sides become one side.
The loop, or a circle, already has no beginning and no end. The non-linear way in which John the Baptist described himself and Jesus might be seen in the loop or the circle. Then Jesus, as Thomas relays it, adds a half-twist.
This could be our life. We could be like the Mobius Strip - no beginning, no end, the inner like the outer and the outer like the inner. There's a mystery to it. I think this speaks of our spirits and our bodies; our brains and our thoughts; our life and our death; us and our Divine Beloved. It speaks to the year ringing out and the year ringing in.
This is a metaphor for wholeness - for being complete. The sacred call to give ourselves to wholeness infuses meaning into what might otherwise be a lesson in futility. This strip doesn't go round and round for no reason. We are not spinning our wheels. We are fusing our spirits with our bodies. We are considering the relationship of the Holy Spirit with our spirit. We are looking ahead at the New Year and looking behind at the past and seeing that with our loving Creator one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like one day. Time and eternity twist into one another just as our spirits twists into our bodies.
This is encouraging. The faith that we are living is embodied in us. It is in our hands and our feet and our eyes. We do not need to make either/or choices, we can make both/and choices. When we make the male and female into a single one so that the female is not female and the male is not male, then we don't have to live by the crazy rules that our society lays out for us saying girls should act this way and boys should act another way. When the upper is like the lower and the lower like the upper, then we can abolish the hierarchical systems that are used to mis-distribute wealth, power, and education. We can be whole people and we can create societies that are whole. We need to remember that our half-twist is what creates our wholeness.
In a few days, when 2008 is in the past and 2009 becomes our present, let's also remember that we live in eternity right now. We carry the Sacred in our bodies, just like Jesus took flesh upon his Sacredness. We are born of the Spirit just like Jesus was born of a Woman. It's a mystery, and it lives in the half-twist of ourselves. It is our glorious faith that we embody.
I spent my Christmas with my family. I got to talk about some really interesting things. One of those conversations had to do with the artist Escher. Escher is an artist who is most famous for his mathematical drawings. One of his pieces is a Mobius Strip with ants on it.
My brother and I talked about the marvel of Escher's art and especially about the Mobius Strip. We discussed it with his 10 year old daughter. She was intrigued. We explained that although the Mobius Strip appears to have 2 sides, it really only has one side. As you look it, you can see that the inside is the outside and the outside is the inside. Unlike a simple loop, you can trace your finger around both the inside and the outside without lifting your finger.
John the Baptist says that Jesus was later than him, but ranks ahead of him because Jesus was before him. In the Gospel of Thomas, Jesus says that we must make the two into one, the inner like the outer, the outer like the inner, the upper like the lower, and the male and female into a single one so that there is neither. We are to make eyes in the place of an eye, a hand in the place of a hand, and so on.
I can't think of a better example of this than the Mobius Strip. What is this thing? It's simple really, and yet the mathematical implications are quite complicated. All this is, is a loop with a half-twist. A loop on its own has an inside and an outside. You can trace the inside with your finger, but you must pick up your finger to trace the outside. Add the half-twist, and the inside becomes the outside and the outside becomes the inside. The two sides become one side.
The loop, or a circle, already has no beginning and no end. The non-linear way in which John the Baptist described himself and Jesus might be seen in the loop or the circle. Then Jesus, as Thomas relays it, adds a half-twist.
This could be our life. We could be like the Mobius Strip - no beginning, no end, the inner like the outer and the outer like the inner. There's a mystery to it. I think this speaks of our spirits and our bodies; our brains and our thoughts; our life and our death; us and our Divine Beloved. It speaks to the year ringing out and the year ringing in.
This is a metaphor for wholeness - for being complete. The sacred call to give ourselves to wholeness infuses meaning into what might otherwise be a lesson in futility. This strip doesn't go round and round for no reason. We are not spinning our wheels. We are fusing our spirits with our bodies. We are considering the relationship of the Holy Spirit with our spirit. We are looking ahead at the New Year and looking behind at the past and seeing that with our loving Creator one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like one day. Time and eternity twist into one another just as our spirits twists into our bodies.
This is encouraging. The faith that we are living is embodied in us. It is in our hands and our feet and our eyes. We do not need to make either/or choices, we can make both/and choices. When we make the male and female into a single one so that the female is not female and the male is not male, then we don't have to live by the crazy rules that our society lays out for us saying girls should act this way and boys should act another way. When the upper is like the lower and the lower like the upper, then we can abolish the hierarchical systems that are used to mis-distribute wealth, power, and education. We can be whole people and we can create societies that are whole. We need to remember that our half-twist is what creates our wholeness.
In a few days, when 2008 is in the past and 2009 becomes our present, let's also remember that we live in eternity right now. We carry the Sacred in our bodies, just like Jesus took flesh upon his Sacredness. We are born of the Spirit just like Jesus was born of a Woman. It's a mystery, and it lives in the half-twist of ourselves. It is our glorious faith that we embody.
Friday, December 26, 2008
In Which I Wonder About Being Alive
I am ... what I can only describe as ... stoned. Stoned on dashed white lines, ice, rain, fog, and rock-n-roll.
When I was a teenager, one of my favorite things was to drive in the fog. Not just to drive in it, but to drive fast. I would drive 80 ... 90 mph through the fog of rural Michigan. It was a thrill. It was a thrill that I lived through time and time again. It wasn't the only thrill. My fast fog driving is indicative of the types of thrills I sought out. How did I live?
Tonight, as I drove through the fog on the icy roads covered with water while listening to music, I realized that I had no interest in driving fast. I had no interest in driving at all, but drive I did ... most of the day, finally getting home to Chicago around 9pm. Usually this is a 6 hour drive. I was passed by many cars. I also saw many cars in the median; some turned on their sides or upside-down. How did I live as a teen?
The music and the dashed white lines of the highway kept me in a mindful trance. I spent my weekend with family. We discussed Escher, suffrage for white women, suffrage for blacks, the meaning of eternity, and quality of life vs climbing the ladder of "success." I love the conversations that I get to have with my family. Not just the adult members of the family, but the kids too. However, as I drove today, I did not let myself rehearse what we said and think even deeper about it. Mostly, I was grateful to be alive to have the conversations. I prayed to be allowed to have more. It looks like my prayers have been answered, once again.
To all that is sacred and holy, I extend my heartfelt thanks. This includes all the people who sent up requests for my safety - those requests are holy and sacred. I did not have even one tragic incident.
Below is an example of the music I listened to.
When I was a teenager, one of my favorite things was to drive in the fog. Not just to drive in it, but to drive fast. I would drive 80 ... 90 mph through the fog of rural Michigan. It was a thrill. It was a thrill that I lived through time and time again. It wasn't the only thrill. My fast fog driving is indicative of the types of thrills I sought out. How did I live?
Tonight, as I drove through the fog on the icy roads covered with water while listening to music, I realized that I had no interest in driving fast. I had no interest in driving at all, but drive I did ... most of the day, finally getting home to Chicago around 9pm. Usually this is a 6 hour drive. I was passed by many cars. I also saw many cars in the median; some turned on their sides or upside-down. How did I live as a teen?
The music and the dashed white lines of the highway kept me in a mindful trance. I spent my weekend with family. We discussed Escher, suffrage for white women, suffrage for blacks, the meaning of eternity, and quality of life vs climbing the ladder of "success." I love the conversations that I get to have with my family. Not just the adult members of the family, but the kids too. However, as I drove today, I did not let myself rehearse what we said and think even deeper about it. Mostly, I was grateful to be alive to have the conversations. I prayed to be allowed to have more. It looks like my prayers have been answered, once again.
To all that is sacred and holy, I extend my heartfelt thanks. This includes all the people who sent up requests for my safety - those requests are holy and sacred. I did not have even one tragic incident.
Below is an example of the music I listened to.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Ahhhh, Solstice
The Northern Hemisphere's shortest day of the year. It is pretty bitter cold outside, here in Chicago. I had to go outside for a minute earlier, but soon I will be driving to my morning church service. Brrrrrr.
I am celebrating this cyclical shift, grateful for the lengthening of days. I am also grateful that in six months the cycle changes again, not allowing the days to lengthen beyond the time they are marked.
I do wish, however, that I could enjoy this cycle with out the bitter cold. I enjoy the lengthening of darkness, but I can't go play in it the way I want. What to do - what to do? I will enjoy this day - the shortest day - just as it is and just as I am. I will drink my tea and print out my sermon. I will take my vitamins to ward off this potential cold. And I will remind myself as often as I can to "center down" in the midst of finding parking spots and bundling up to go from car to church to car to the other church to car to home. I am grateful for a car. I am grateful for my jobs. I am grateful for my home.
Music and lyrics Joni Mitchell.
Yesterday a child came out to wonder
Caught a dragonfly inside a jar
Fearful when the sky was full of thunder
And tearful at the falling of a star
And the seasons they go 'round and 'round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go 'round and 'round and 'round
In the circle game
Then the child moved ten times 'round the seasons
Skated over ten clear frozen streams
Words like "when you're older" must
appease him
And promises of someday make his dreams
And the seasons they go 'round and 'round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go 'round and 'round and 'round
In the circle game
Sixteen springs and sixteen summers
gone now
Cartwheels turn to car wheels through
the town
And they tell him, "Take your time, it won't
be long now
Till you drag your feet to slow the
circles down"
And the seasons they go 'round and 'round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go 'round and 'round and 'round
In the circle game
So the years spin by and now the boy
is twenty
Though his dreams gave lost some
grandeur coming true
There'll be new dreams, maybe better
dreams and plenty
Before the last revolving year is through
And the seasons they go 'round and 'round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go 'round and 'round and 'round
In the circle game
And go 'round and 'round and 'round
In the circle game
I am celebrating this cyclical shift, grateful for the lengthening of days. I am also grateful that in six months the cycle changes again, not allowing the days to lengthen beyond the time they are marked.
I do wish, however, that I could enjoy this cycle with out the bitter cold. I enjoy the lengthening of darkness, but I can't go play in it the way I want. What to do - what to do? I will enjoy this day - the shortest day - just as it is and just as I am. I will drink my tea and print out my sermon. I will take my vitamins to ward off this potential cold. And I will remind myself as often as I can to "center down" in the midst of finding parking spots and bundling up to go from car to church to car to the other church to car to home. I am grateful for a car. I am grateful for my jobs. I am grateful for my home.
Music and lyrics Joni Mitchell.
Yesterday a child came out to wonder
Caught a dragonfly inside a jar
Fearful when the sky was full of thunder
And tearful at the falling of a star
And the seasons they go 'round and 'round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go 'round and 'round and 'round
In the circle game
Then the child moved ten times 'round the seasons
Skated over ten clear frozen streams
Words like "when you're older" must
appease him
And promises of someday make his dreams
And the seasons they go 'round and 'round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go 'round and 'round and 'round
In the circle game
Sixteen springs and sixteen summers
gone now
Cartwheels turn to car wheels through
the town
And they tell him, "Take your time, it won't
be long now
Till you drag your feet to slow the
circles down"
And the seasons they go 'round and 'round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go 'round and 'round and 'round
In the circle game
So the years spin by and now the boy
is twenty
Though his dreams gave lost some
grandeur coming true
There'll be new dreams, maybe better
dreams and plenty
Before the last revolving year is through
And the seasons they go 'round and 'round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go 'round and 'round and 'round
In the circle game
And go 'round and 'round and 'round
In the circle game
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
AIDS Service of remembrance: this Friday, December 19th in Chicago
I know this is a sudden announcement, but that's due to the spontaneous nature of this event.
This Friday, December 19th, The Chicago Coalition of Welcoming Churches and Broadway UMC invite you to an HIV/AIDS service of remembrance. This will be a time of worshiping our Divine Beloved; mourning those whom we have loved and lost to this dreaded disease; and strengthening ourselves to continue to fight for a cure.
You are welcome to share a 2 minute story or reflection. We would love to hear from you.
Please join us at 7pm, Friday December 19, 2008 at
Broadway United Methodist Church.
3338 N. Broadway Street
Chicago, IL 60657
773-348-2679
For more information on how to get to BUMC, please check out their website direction page.
http://www.brdwyumc.org/content/view/19/23/
This Friday, December 19th, The Chicago Coalition of Welcoming Churches and Broadway UMC invite you to an HIV/AIDS service of remembrance. This will be a time of worshiping our Divine Beloved; mourning those whom we have loved and lost to this dreaded disease; and strengthening ourselves to continue to fight for a cure.
You are welcome to share a 2 minute story or reflection. We would love to hear from you.
Please join us at 7pm, Friday December 19, 2008 at
Broadway United Methodist Church.
3338 N. Broadway Street
Chicago, IL 60657
773-348-2679
For more information on how to get to BUMC, please check out their website direction page.
http://www.brdwyumc.org/content/view/19/23/
Friday, December 05, 2008
Prop 8 Protest in Chicago
The pastor preaching here is Rev Sherrie Lowly. She is pastor of one of the partner churches of the Chicago Coalition of Welcoming Churches.
Monday, December 01, 2008
"Hope is the cure for now, until we get a real one."
Texts:
Isaiah 9:1 - 7
Three selections from the book, "The Faces of AIDS", June 2001
1. "Teresa" Place of origin: Central America. Currently lives in the Chicago, Illinois Metropolitan area.
"I am sharing my story because some people are just finding out they are HIV-Positive. If they read something about somebody, it gives them hope, and they understand it better. You can think, 'I am the only one in the world with this problem,' and that's not really true."
**************************
2. Nile, age 13
You can't get AIDS from being a friend.
Not from a hug or a pencil or even a pen.
So why won't anyone let him play?
"That kid has AIDS," my friend responds,
"So you see, there's nothing more to say."
So that's the problem that shuns this boy.
That is the reason he can't touch the toy.
This is crazy, it has to end. You can't get
AIDS from being a friend.
****************************
3. a camper from Camp Heartland (a camp for kids with HIV/AIDS)
"At Camp Heartland, I've realized that hope is the cure for now, until we get a real one."
****************************
We anticipate the celebration of the birth of Jesus, our Christ. Mary's agreement to become pregnant with the Messiah speaks of the hope she had for the future of her people and her family. She did not refuse the angel who had come in the name of the Divine. She embraced the challenge and lived in the hope of the promise, the hope of the future.
The anonymous camper at Camp Heartland has a similar hope. This camper believes there will be a cure, and the hope in that cure becomes the cure for now.
For Teresa the hope is in sharing her story. She is offering hope in the telling of her story. It is like the gospel writers sharing the "Good News", and Isaiah proclaiming a promise that there will be no more gloom and that a child will be born who has authority to establish endless peace, and justice with righteousness.
"Hope is the cure for now, until we get a real one." As Christians, the real cure that we await this season is the birth of Jesus. In this baby we anticipate the proclaimed promise of Isaiah to be realized. But in fact, this is a ritual of remembering for us. The child Jesus was born and lived and healed and did wonders. It is a ritual that helps us remember our role as followers of Jesus. We are the voice, the body, the house of the realm that Jesus proclaimed ... that Jesus taught.
The work continues and it's easy to get bogged down in the work. It's easy to identify with the work instead of with the hope and the promise. When the angel visited Mary, the message was one of the future. Still, she had to carry the child within her body and then raise the child. There was work to do. I think it was the hope in the Angel's words that sustained her.
I think it is hope that can also sustain us. We have the good news of God's love to proclaim. We are pregnant with a future. What is the promise that you have heard that gives you hope? What is the proclamation that you heard that gives you hope? The young camper at Camp Heartland believes that there will be a cure for AIDS. Teresa believes telling her story will bring hope. Isaiah believes there will be never-ending peace because of a child yet to be born. Mary believes the child she carries in her body is the Messiah her people need. What these people believe about a better future gives them the cure of hope for today.
Hope is powerful! It can give you strength. It can sustain you. Hope can give you a smile ... a joy. It can reach out to you so that you can reach out to yourself and to others. Hope inspires us to act for the change we believe in.
What is your hope? What inspires you to act? What is your cure for now as you wait for the revealing of future change?
My hope is that adults can unlearn hate and prejudice and that children and grandchildren will grow up expressing love for all people of all ilks. My hope is that solidarity today will result in communities tomorrow. My hope is in the Beloved Community. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. expanded on the notion of Josiah Royce's Beloved Community. According to the King Center website,
"Dr. King's Beloved Community is a global vision, in which all people can share in the wealth of the earth. In the Beloved Community, poverty, hunger and homelessness will not be tolerated because international standards of human decency will not allow it. Racism and all forms of discrimination, bigotry and prejudice will be replaced by an all-inclusive spirit of sisterhood and brotherhood. In the Beloved Community, international disputes will be resolved by peaceful conflict-resolution and reconciliation of adversaries, instead of military power. Love and trust will triumph over fear and hatred. Peace with justice will prevail over war and military conflict.
Dr. King's Beloved Community was not devoid of interpersonal, group or international conflict. Instead he recognized that conflict was an inevitable part of human experience. But he believed that conflicts could be resolved peacefully and adversaries could be reconciled through a mutual, determined commitment to nonviolence. No conflict, he believed, need erupt in violence. And all conflicts in The Beloved Community should end with reconciliation of adversaries cooperating together in a spirit of friendship and goodwill." http://www.thekingcenter.org/prog/bc/index.html
If I were to distill my hope in a couple of words, those words would be Beloved Community. That's what I have heard proclaimed, that's what I believe in for the future. The Beloved Community is a manifestation of the Realm of Heaven that Jesus proclaimed. It is how I interpret what Isaiah proclaimed. It is the cure for tomorrow. My hope for the Beloved Community is my cure for today until it is manifested in all its glory.
What is your hope? I want us to spend a few minutes writing down our hopes. I brought this little Christmas tree. Over the course of Advent we are going to decorate this tree with our ideas about Hope, Love, Joy, and Peace. It will be our Advent Tree. Think about what you believe, the promises that you hang on to, the future that you envision and then think about the hope that is the cure for now until the real cure comes.
Isaiah 9:1 - 7
Three selections from the book, "The Faces of AIDS", June 2001
1. "Teresa" Place of origin: Central America. Currently lives in the Chicago, Illinois Metropolitan area.
"I am sharing my story because some people are just finding out they are HIV-Positive. If they read something about somebody, it gives them hope, and they understand it better. You can think, 'I am the only one in the world with this problem,' and that's not really true."
**************************
2. Nile, age 13
You can't get AIDS from being a friend.
Not from a hug or a pencil or even a pen.
So why won't anyone let him play?
"That kid has AIDS," my friend responds,
"So you see, there's nothing more to say."
So that's the problem that shuns this boy.
That is the reason he can't touch the toy.
This is crazy, it has to end. You can't get
AIDS from being a friend.
****************************
3. a camper from Camp Heartland (a camp for kids with HIV/AIDS)
"At Camp Heartland, I've realized that hope is the cure for now, until we get a real one."
****************************
We anticipate the celebration of the birth of Jesus, our Christ. Mary's agreement to become pregnant with the Messiah speaks of the hope she had for the future of her people and her family. She did not refuse the angel who had come in the name of the Divine. She embraced the challenge and lived in the hope of the promise, the hope of the future.
The anonymous camper at Camp Heartland has a similar hope. This camper believes there will be a cure, and the hope in that cure becomes the cure for now.
For Teresa the hope is in sharing her story. She is offering hope in the telling of her story. It is like the gospel writers sharing the "Good News", and Isaiah proclaiming a promise that there will be no more gloom and that a child will be born who has authority to establish endless peace, and justice with righteousness.
"Hope is the cure for now, until we get a real one." As Christians, the real cure that we await this season is the birth of Jesus. In this baby we anticipate the proclaimed promise of Isaiah to be realized. But in fact, this is a ritual of remembering for us. The child Jesus was born and lived and healed and did wonders. It is a ritual that helps us remember our role as followers of Jesus. We are the voice, the body, the house of the realm that Jesus proclaimed ... that Jesus taught.
The work continues and it's easy to get bogged down in the work. It's easy to identify with the work instead of with the hope and the promise. When the angel visited Mary, the message was one of the future. Still, she had to carry the child within her body and then raise the child. There was work to do. I think it was the hope in the Angel's words that sustained her.
I think it is hope that can also sustain us. We have the good news of God's love to proclaim. We are pregnant with a future. What is the promise that you have heard that gives you hope? What is the proclamation that you heard that gives you hope? The young camper at Camp Heartland believes that there will be a cure for AIDS. Teresa believes telling her story will bring hope. Isaiah believes there will be never-ending peace because of a child yet to be born. Mary believes the child she carries in her body is the Messiah her people need. What these people believe about a better future gives them the cure of hope for today.
Hope is powerful! It can give you strength. It can sustain you. Hope can give you a smile ... a joy. It can reach out to you so that you can reach out to yourself and to others. Hope inspires us to act for the change we believe in.
What is your hope? What inspires you to act? What is your cure for now as you wait for the revealing of future change?
My hope is that adults can unlearn hate and prejudice and that children and grandchildren will grow up expressing love for all people of all ilks. My hope is that solidarity today will result in communities tomorrow. My hope is in the Beloved Community. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. expanded on the notion of Josiah Royce's Beloved Community. According to the King Center website,
"Dr. King's Beloved Community is a global vision, in which all people can share in the wealth of the earth. In the Beloved Community, poverty, hunger and homelessness will not be tolerated because international standards of human decency will not allow it. Racism and all forms of discrimination, bigotry and prejudice will be replaced by an all-inclusive spirit of sisterhood and brotherhood. In the Beloved Community, international disputes will be resolved by peaceful conflict-resolution and reconciliation of adversaries, instead of military power. Love and trust will triumph over fear and hatred. Peace with justice will prevail over war and military conflict.
Dr. King's Beloved Community was not devoid of interpersonal, group or international conflict. Instead he recognized that conflict was an inevitable part of human experience. But he believed that conflicts could be resolved peacefully and adversaries could be reconciled through a mutual, determined commitment to nonviolence. No conflict, he believed, need erupt in violence. And all conflicts in The Beloved Community should end with reconciliation of adversaries cooperating together in a spirit of friendship and goodwill." http://www.thekingcenter.org/prog/bc/index.html
If I were to distill my hope in a couple of words, those words would be Beloved Community. That's what I have heard proclaimed, that's what I believe in for the future. The Beloved Community is a manifestation of the Realm of Heaven that Jesus proclaimed. It is how I interpret what Isaiah proclaimed. It is the cure for tomorrow. My hope for the Beloved Community is my cure for today until it is manifested in all its glory.
What is your hope? I want us to spend a few minutes writing down our hopes. I brought this little Christmas tree. Over the course of Advent we are going to decorate this tree with our ideas about Hope, Love, Joy, and Peace. It will be our Advent Tree. Think about what you believe, the promises that you hang on to, the future that you envision and then think about the hope that is the cure for now until the real cure comes.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
The Meaning of a Day
November 22, 1990
My mother died that morning. 18 years ago yesterday my mother died. That was a long time ago. I was fairly young - in my mid 20's. Much more has happened since then, yet the pain lingers. Where is her recipe for those beloved chocolate cake-like cookies with the peppermint frosting? Exactly how did she make the pork chops in baked beans that I loved so much? What gave her the idea to put old rag socks on me and let me slide on the waxed kitchen floor to help her buff it? What would she think about me being a Baptist minister?
Yesterday I remembered the day that we did not go to the hospital to sit with her, hold her, cry with her, laugh with her, read from the Bible to her. Yesterday I remembered the Thanksgiving dinner we were not going to have together, but we did. Yesterday I remembered the relief I felt at my fathers words on the phone at 5am, "It's over." Those are words I will never forget.
Today I realize that this anniversary of my mother's death was not a mourning of the day she died. Rather, it was, and still is today, a mourning of the 2 years of her illness. It is a mourning of the last year of her life, from the day after the Thanksgiving of 1989 when she almost died and we brought her to the hospital for the first time. It is a mourning of how God did not heal her, not through the laying on of my hands or through the laying on of any hands. It is a mourning of the vigil we kept, of the vigil over which I was willing to lose my job because I was not going to miss this opportunity. It was a mourning that it took a disease to bring about healing in specific parts of our relationship.
November 22nd is the day my mother died, but her death was a mercy. Her disease is what I mourn. Her absence is what I mourn. November 22nd marks the time of her illness up till then, and marks the time of her absence since then. All of November mourning is creeping inside of me. All of December and January mourning is continuing in me. It is like a time release capsule. Slow and mostly steady, with some bursts of release from time to time. It is like a program running in the background. Sometimes it interrupts the program of my life that I am working in. My thought process slows, sometimes it freezes, although not like it used to. Sometimes I recognize what is going on, but sometimes I have to go into my Task Manager and look at what's running. There I am reminded of what is happening in the background.
November 22nd means so much more than the events that happened November 22, 1990. No wonder it fills me. No wonder it slows the rest of my thinking and heightens the rest of my feelings. No wonder I seek comfort in the arms of my Divine Beloved. And no wonder I ask my Holy Love why? Why? Why that way? Why then?
Today is November 23rd. But inside of me it is always November 22nd.
What day lives in you?
My mother died that morning. 18 years ago yesterday my mother died. That was a long time ago. I was fairly young - in my mid 20's. Much more has happened since then, yet the pain lingers. Where is her recipe for those beloved chocolate cake-like cookies with the peppermint frosting? Exactly how did she make the pork chops in baked beans that I loved so much? What gave her the idea to put old rag socks on me and let me slide on the waxed kitchen floor to help her buff it? What would she think about me being a Baptist minister?
Yesterday I remembered the day that we did not go to the hospital to sit with her, hold her, cry with her, laugh with her, read from the Bible to her. Yesterday I remembered the Thanksgiving dinner we were not going to have together, but we did. Yesterday I remembered the relief I felt at my fathers words on the phone at 5am, "It's over." Those are words I will never forget.
Today I realize that this anniversary of my mother's death was not a mourning of the day she died. Rather, it was, and still is today, a mourning of the 2 years of her illness. It is a mourning of the last year of her life, from the day after the Thanksgiving of 1989 when she almost died and we brought her to the hospital for the first time. It is a mourning of how God did not heal her, not through the laying on of my hands or through the laying on of any hands. It is a mourning of the vigil we kept, of the vigil over which I was willing to lose my job because I was not going to miss this opportunity. It was a mourning that it took a disease to bring about healing in specific parts of our relationship.
November 22nd is the day my mother died, but her death was a mercy. Her disease is what I mourn. Her absence is what I mourn. November 22nd marks the time of her illness up till then, and marks the time of her absence since then. All of November mourning is creeping inside of me. All of December and January mourning is continuing in me. It is like a time release capsule. Slow and mostly steady, with some bursts of release from time to time. It is like a program running in the background. Sometimes it interrupts the program of my life that I am working in. My thought process slows, sometimes it freezes, although not like it used to. Sometimes I recognize what is going on, but sometimes I have to go into my Task Manager and look at what's running. There I am reminded of what is happening in the background.
November 22nd means so much more than the events that happened November 22, 1990. No wonder it fills me. No wonder it slows the rest of my thinking and heightens the rest of my feelings. No wonder I seek comfort in the arms of my Divine Beloved. And no wonder I ask my Holy Love why? Why? Why that way? Why then?
Today is November 23rd. But inside of me it is always November 22nd.
What day lives in you?
Saturday, November 22, 2008
AMBER ALERT - from Maryland
PLEASE HELP US BY FORWARDING THIS EMAIL UNTIL THIS REACHES A
WORLD-WIDE AUDIENCE AND JEWEL IS RETURNED HOME SAFELY
Racharel Strong (father) - 404-357-1881
Simona Strong (mother) - 404-313-4255
Tiesa Locklear (aunt) - 678-234-4902
Tramesa Locklear (aunt) 678-480-1635
Ursala Williams (aunt) 678-362-5246
WORLD-WIDE AUDIENCE AND JEWEL IS RETURNED HOME SAFELY
Racharel Strong (father) - 404-357-1881
Simona Strong (mother) - 404-313-4255
Tiesa Locklear (aunt) - 678-234-4902
Tramesa Locklear (aunt) 678-480-1635
Ursala Williams (aunt) 678-362-5246
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Transgender Day of Remembrance
Michael Dillon May 1, 1915 - May 15, 1962
The first recorded transman to undergo phalloplasty.
He was an athlete and an Oxford Man; an author (Self: A Study in Endocrinology and Ethics) and sailor; a doctor and a Buddhist Monk.
His death is a mystery.
His biography, The First Man-Made Man, was written by Pagan Kennedy (Bloomsbury 2007)
The first recorded transman to undergo phalloplasty.
He was an athlete and an Oxford Man; an author (Self: A Study in Endocrinology and Ethics) and sailor; a doctor and a Buddhist Monk.
His death is a mystery.
His biography, The First Man-Made Man, was written by Pagan Kennedy (Bloomsbury 2007)
Monday, November 17, 2008
Harriet's Daughter posted about the American Family Association's product called "The Original Christmas Cross earlier today. Here is a picture of this product.
One of the folks who commented to the post left the contact link to the AFA. Here is what I wrote to the AFA, and here is the link if you want to write. https://store.afa.net/t-contact.aspx
Please write to them.
******************************************
As a white Christian and a Pastor I am abhorred at your Christmas Cross. This faux burning cross is a racist symbol. As you are no doubt well aware, racist and evil white men have burned crosses on the yards of Black churches and Black homes for years.
In whose yard is this supposed to be displayed, the purchaser or the purchaser's victim? Has the burning cross strategy changed, now that we have an African American president-elect? Do we display faux burning crosses as a symbol of our racism and evil in our own yards?
In the name of our beloved Christ, I implore you to pull this product immediately and to issue an apology to African Americans.
One of the folks who commented to the post left the contact link to the AFA. Here is what I wrote to the AFA, and here is the link if you want to write. https://store.afa.net/t-contact.aspx
Please write to them.
******************************************
As a white Christian and a Pastor I am abhorred at your Christmas Cross. This faux burning cross is a racist symbol. As you are no doubt well aware, racist and evil white men have burned crosses on the yards of Black churches and Black homes for years.
In whose yard is this supposed to be displayed, the purchaser or the purchaser's victim? Has the burning cross strategy changed, now that we have an African American president-elect? Do we display faux burning crosses as a symbol of our racism and evil in our own yards?
In the name of our beloved Christ, I implore you to pull this product immediately and to issue an apology to African Americans.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Prop 8 - Who's Responsible?
White Men
Queer people, people of colour, disabled people, poor people, etc ... if we don't see ourselves in one another, then we cannot move forward in unity against those who oppress us. If we don't see that the most disenfranchised from this kind of division is the poor, disabled, lesbian of colour, and that she should be able to live free and in joy, then we are selfish and narrow-minded.
These are some of the leaders of Proposition 8. Without them, there wouldn't have been a Prop 8. If you want to blame anyone ... blame them. It's the straight white men who are responsible. Remember - divided we fall. These guys want us all to fall and fall hard, especially now with President-Elect Obama in place.
Pictured above are Newt Gingrich, Rick Warren, John McCain, Ron Prentice, James Dobson, and Tom McClintock.
Queer people, people of colour, disabled people, poor people, etc ... if we don't see ourselves in one another, then we cannot move forward in unity against those who oppress us. If we don't see that the most disenfranchised from this kind of division is the poor, disabled, lesbian of colour, and that she should be able to live free and in joy, then we are selfish and narrow-minded.
These are some of the leaders of Proposition 8. Without them, there wouldn't have been a Prop 8. If you want to blame anyone ... blame them. It's the straight white men who are responsible. Remember - divided we fall. These guys want us all to fall and fall hard, especially now with President-Elect Obama in place.
Pictured above are Newt Gingrich, Rick Warren, John McCain, Ron Prentice, James Dobson, and Tom McClintock.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Letter from Alice Walker to Obama
Nov. 5, 2008
Letter from Alice Walker to Obama
Dear Brother Obama,
You have no idea, really, of how profound this moment is for us. Us
being the black people of the Southern United States. You think you
know, because you are thoughtful, and you have studied our history.
But seeing you deliver the torch so many others before you carried,
year after year, decade after decade, century after century, only
to be struck down before igniting the flame of justice and of law,
is almost more than the heart can bear. And yet, this observation
is not intended to burden you, for you are of a different time,
and, indeed, because of all the relay runners before you, North
America is a different place. It is really only to say: Well done.
We knew, through all the generations, that you were with us, in us,
the best of the spirit of Africa and of the Americas. Knowing this,
that you would actually appear, someday, was part of our strength.
Seeing you take your rightful place, based solely on your wisdom,
stamina and character, is a balm for the weary warriors of hope,
previously only sung about.
I would advise you to remember that you did not create the disaster
that the world is experiencing, and you alone are not responsible
for bringing the world back to balance. A primary responsibility
that you do have, however, is to cultivate happiness in your own
life. To make a schedule that permits sufficient time of rest and
play with your gorgeous wife and lovely daughters. And so on. One
gathers that your family is large. We are used to seeing men in the
White House soon become juiceless and as white-haired as the
building; we notice their wives and children looking strained and
stressed. They soon have smiles so lacking in joy that they remind
us of scissors. This is no way to lead. Nor does your family
deserve this fate. One way of thinking about all this is: It is so
bad now that there is no excuse not to relax. From your happy,
relaxed state, you can model real success, which is all that so
many people in the world really want. They may buy endless cars and
houses and furs and gobble up all the attention and space they can
manage, or barely manage, but this is because it is not yet clear
to them that success is truly an inside job. That it is within the
reach of almost everyone.
I would further advise you not to take on other people's enemies.
Most damage that others do to us is out of fear, humiliation and
pain. Those feelings occur in all of us, not just in those of us
who profess a certain religious or racial devotion. We must learn
actually not to have enemies, but only confused adversaries who are
ourselves in disguise. It is understood by all that you are
commander in chief of the United States and are sworn to protect
our beloved country; this we understand, completely. However, as my
mother used to say, quoting a Bible with which I often fought,
"hate the sin, but love the sinner." There must be no more crushing
of whole communities, no more torture, no more dehumanizing as a
means of ruling a people's spirit. This has already happened to
people of color, poor people, women, children. We see where this
leads, where it has led.
A good model of how to "work with the enemy" internally is
presented by the Dalai Lama, in his endless caretaking of his soul
as he confronts the Chinese government that invaded Tibet. Because,
finally, it is the soul that must be preserved, if one is to remain
a credible leader. All else might be lost; but when the soul dies,
the connection to earth, to peoples, to animals, to rivers, to
mountain ranges, purple and majestic, also dies. And your smile,
with which we watch you do gracious battle with unjust
characterizations, distortions and lies, is that expression of
healthy self-worth, spirit and soul, that, kept happy and free and
relaxed, can find an answering smile in all of us, lighting our
way, and brightening the world.
We are the ones we have been waiting for."
In Peace and Joy,
Alice Walker
© 2008, Alice Walker
Letter from Alice Walker to Obama
Dear Brother Obama,
You have no idea, really, of how profound this moment is for us. Us
being the black people of the Southern United States. You think you
know, because you are thoughtful, and you have studied our history.
But seeing you deliver the torch so many others before you carried,
year after year, decade after decade, century after century, only
to be struck down before igniting the flame of justice and of law,
is almost more than the heart can bear. And yet, this observation
is not intended to burden you, for you are of a different time,
and, indeed, because of all the relay runners before you, North
America is a different place. It is really only to say: Well done.
We knew, through all the generations, that you were with us, in us,
the best of the spirit of Africa and of the Americas. Knowing this,
that you would actually appear, someday, was part of our strength.
Seeing you take your rightful place, based solely on your wisdom,
stamina and character, is a balm for the weary warriors of hope,
previously only sung about.
I would advise you to remember that you did not create the disaster
that the world is experiencing, and you alone are not responsible
for bringing the world back to balance. A primary responsibility
that you do have, however, is to cultivate happiness in your own
life. To make a schedule that permits sufficient time of rest and
play with your gorgeous wife and lovely daughters. And so on. One
gathers that your family is large. We are used to seeing men in the
White House soon become juiceless and as white-haired as the
building; we notice their wives and children looking strained and
stressed. They soon have smiles so lacking in joy that they remind
us of scissors. This is no way to lead. Nor does your family
deserve this fate. One way of thinking about all this is: It is so
bad now that there is no excuse not to relax. From your happy,
relaxed state, you can model real success, which is all that so
many people in the world really want. They may buy endless cars and
houses and furs and gobble up all the attention and space they can
manage, or barely manage, but this is because it is not yet clear
to them that success is truly an inside job. That it is within the
reach of almost everyone.
I would further advise you not to take on other people's enemies.
Most damage that others do to us is out of fear, humiliation and
pain. Those feelings occur in all of us, not just in those of us
who profess a certain religious or racial devotion. We must learn
actually not to have enemies, but only confused adversaries who are
ourselves in disguise. It is understood by all that you are
commander in chief of the United States and are sworn to protect
our beloved country; this we understand, completely. However, as my
mother used to say, quoting a Bible with which I often fought,
"hate the sin, but love the sinner." There must be no more crushing
of whole communities, no more torture, no more dehumanizing as a
means of ruling a people's spirit. This has already happened to
people of color, poor people, women, children. We see where this
leads, where it has led.
A good model of how to "work with the enemy" internally is
presented by the Dalai Lama, in his endless caretaking of his soul
as he confronts the Chinese government that invaded Tibet. Because,
finally, it is the soul that must be preserved, if one is to remain
a credible leader. All else might be lost; but when the soul dies,
the connection to earth, to peoples, to animals, to rivers, to
mountain ranges, purple and majestic, also dies. And your smile,
with which we watch you do gracious battle with unjust
characterizations, distortions and lies, is that expression of
healthy self-worth, spirit and soul, that, kept happy and free and
relaxed, can find an answering smile in all of us, lighting our
way, and brightening the world.
We are the ones we have been waiting for."
In Peace and Joy,
Alice Walker
© 2008, Alice Walker
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Rituals Leading to Miracles
Texts: Luke 11:37 - 47 & On the Edge of a Miracle by Alexandra Billings.
What a week we've had. Lots of excitement - some people with hope and some with despair. Since Obama has become our President Elect there have been increased reports of racism. Since Proposition 8 passed in California there have been increased reports of homophobia. I believe these declarations and acts of violence are from a few extremists who know how to make life miserable for the many. I also believe that their dander is up now and if we who are peace-loving take peaceful strides to shut them down, we will prevail. This election process was vibrant and scary; it pitted loved ones against each other, enemies even more against each other to a degree I haven't seen in a long time.
On November 4, 2008 most of us participated in a cyclical ritual of our country. The ritual begins with a process and ends in an event. I voted early this year, but I still participated in the event of the tabulation and calling of the election. I participated in that part of the event as a spectator. I have many friends who participated by going to Grant Park.
The last few elections have been rituals that felt somewhat empty and meaningless. Not just because of who won or lost, but because of the way the people were or were not invested in the outcome. This year many more people participated, and people of different stripes, too. This year, it seems to me, that the transformation that occurred during this election ritual was at least as much about "we the people" as it was about those who were running for office. I have not always participated in the presidential election. I remember telling my friend's mother, that if Jesus wasn't running I wanted nothing to do with it. I was an 18 year old white lesbian talking to a 40-something year old African American woman. She just shook her head at me and said, "Oh, Child." I was wrong then and she knew it with all her heart.
It took me to my 30's to start voting. But this year, for the first time, this ritual held significant meaning to me. As the level of hate-talk rose, so did my level of transformation.
What does it take for a dry and empty ritual to become meaningful again? I think it has to connect to something that we care about. I believe that a ritual becoming empty, dry, and meaningless isn't a benign thing. It is malignant. It infects a society ... a community. It brings about an apathy that deteriorates the community - its ambition and passion; its compassion and unity. An empty ritual is worse than no ritual at all. It tends to leave people feeling resentful of wasting their time and energy, and it also seems to make more obvious whatever else feels empty and hollow.
We, here in this community, work intentionally to keep our rituals alive and vibrant, rich with meaning. Take for example our communion ritual. I love what we do and how we do it. I also love our prayer covenant time. Pretty soon we are entering the season of Advent. Advent is a process ritual that has defining ritual events. We are going to labor to make this rich and vibrant and full of meaning. This church service is a ritual that can easily become dry and stale - devoid of meaning. We try to let that not happen.
In our Biblical reading today, in Luke, Jesus is accused of not participating in a the ritual of hand-washing before having dinner. This isn't the same ritual we grew up with when our parents or guardians asked us as children, "Did you wash your hands?" This isn't about physical cleanliness, it's about spiritual cleanliness. Jesus didn't do it and didn't care about it. He found the ritual to be hollow and without transformation or miracle. Jesus accused his accusers of being pretty on the outside but ugly on the inside; clean on the outside but dirty on the inside. Jesus says that these religious leaders, "... tithe mint and rue and herbs of all kinds, and neglect justice and the love of God; it is these you ought to have practiced, without neglecting the others." Jesus isn't saying that they shouldn't wash their hands ... that they shouldn't have their rituals. He is saying that he's not going to participate in the ritual just for the sake of the ritual. If it isn't accompanied by working for justice and loving God, he isn't interested. Not only is he not interested in participating in those rituals, but he severely condemns those who do participate without also participating in causes for justice and love for God.
I know that not every ritual is going to end up in a miracle or in some kind of incredible transformation. That would make a miracle more of a consequence to an action than a miracle. I do believe though, that our rituals should have transformative aspects to them, and they should be accompanied by a greater work in this world that we live in and the love for our Divine Beloved. I believe we should offer ourselves to the experience of transformation. That we need to be open to being transformed ... to experience a miracle.
Alexandra Billings could not have had her transformative moment - her miracle - had she not been open to the power of the moment. Her awareness of the blowing of the wind, the shouts of jubilation, and the intensity of the man with the cigar led her to her moment. A ritual had occurred while she was teaching a class and she knew it was going on. The power of that ritual spilled onto the streets and into her soul. She received it.
In contrast, the Pharisees participated in a ritual of cleansing that left them unaffected ... unchanged.
Who are we? How are we? What are we? Are we open to the power of the moment? Are we participating in our rituals, compelled by our love for our Divine Beloved? Does our transformation spill out into the streets? Does it affect those we touch? Do we give ourselves to the Holy Presence that connects us and participates with us? Do I? Do you? Do we?
I encourage every one of us to tap in to the Power of the Presence of the Holy. To see our coming together in community as a Sacred ritual and one pregnant with transformation. I encourage all of us to carry ourselves bigger, like the man with the cigar; to bend from the strength of the blowing of the Holy Spirit, like the trees; and to allow ourselves to be affected to the point that it is evident to others. This isn't about "winning souls for Christ" or "making converts." This is about being affected by the ritual, and then being open to live the power of that miracle.
Specifically, as we prepare for Advent, let's be mindful of the rituals we perform and the choices we make. Let us know what is meaningful for you during Advent. Is there something that you just love? Is there something you feel a longing for? Let us know.
The rituals of this community are sacred and holy. We are a sacred and holy people. Let's hear what Jesus says, that we should practice justice and the love of God, without neglecting our rituals.
What a week we've had. Lots of excitement - some people with hope and some with despair. Since Obama has become our President Elect there have been increased reports of racism. Since Proposition 8 passed in California there have been increased reports of homophobia. I believe these declarations and acts of violence are from a few extremists who know how to make life miserable for the many. I also believe that their dander is up now and if we who are peace-loving take peaceful strides to shut them down, we will prevail. This election process was vibrant and scary; it pitted loved ones against each other, enemies even more against each other to a degree I haven't seen in a long time.
On November 4, 2008 most of us participated in a cyclical ritual of our country. The ritual begins with a process and ends in an event. I voted early this year, but I still participated in the event of the tabulation and calling of the election. I participated in that part of the event as a spectator. I have many friends who participated by going to Grant Park.
The last few elections have been rituals that felt somewhat empty and meaningless. Not just because of who won or lost, but because of the way the people were or were not invested in the outcome. This year many more people participated, and people of different stripes, too. This year, it seems to me, that the transformation that occurred during this election ritual was at least as much about "we the people" as it was about those who were running for office. I have not always participated in the presidential election. I remember telling my friend's mother, that if Jesus wasn't running I wanted nothing to do with it. I was an 18 year old white lesbian talking to a 40-something year old African American woman. She just shook her head at me and said, "Oh, Child." I was wrong then and she knew it with all her heart.
It took me to my 30's to start voting. But this year, for the first time, this ritual held significant meaning to me. As the level of hate-talk rose, so did my level of transformation.
What does it take for a dry and empty ritual to become meaningful again? I think it has to connect to something that we care about. I believe that a ritual becoming empty, dry, and meaningless isn't a benign thing. It is malignant. It infects a society ... a community. It brings about an apathy that deteriorates the community - its ambition and passion; its compassion and unity. An empty ritual is worse than no ritual at all. It tends to leave people feeling resentful of wasting their time and energy, and it also seems to make more obvious whatever else feels empty and hollow.
We, here in this community, work intentionally to keep our rituals alive and vibrant, rich with meaning. Take for example our communion ritual. I love what we do and how we do it. I also love our prayer covenant time. Pretty soon we are entering the season of Advent. Advent is a process ritual that has defining ritual events. We are going to labor to make this rich and vibrant and full of meaning. This church service is a ritual that can easily become dry and stale - devoid of meaning. We try to let that not happen.
In our Biblical reading today, in Luke, Jesus is accused of not participating in a the ritual of hand-washing before having dinner. This isn't the same ritual we grew up with when our parents or guardians asked us as children, "Did you wash your hands?" This isn't about physical cleanliness, it's about spiritual cleanliness. Jesus didn't do it and didn't care about it. He found the ritual to be hollow and without transformation or miracle. Jesus accused his accusers of being pretty on the outside but ugly on the inside; clean on the outside but dirty on the inside. Jesus says that these religious leaders, "... tithe mint and rue and herbs of all kinds, and neglect justice and the love of God; it is these you ought to have practiced, without neglecting the others." Jesus isn't saying that they shouldn't wash their hands ... that they shouldn't have their rituals. He is saying that he's not going to participate in the ritual just for the sake of the ritual. If it isn't accompanied by working for justice and loving God, he isn't interested. Not only is he not interested in participating in those rituals, but he severely condemns those who do participate without also participating in causes for justice and love for God.
I know that not every ritual is going to end up in a miracle or in some kind of incredible transformation. That would make a miracle more of a consequence to an action than a miracle. I do believe though, that our rituals should have transformative aspects to them, and they should be accompanied by a greater work in this world that we live in and the love for our Divine Beloved. I believe we should offer ourselves to the experience of transformation. That we need to be open to being transformed ... to experience a miracle.
Alexandra Billings could not have had her transformative moment - her miracle - had she not been open to the power of the moment. Her awareness of the blowing of the wind, the shouts of jubilation, and the intensity of the man with the cigar led her to her moment. A ritual had occurred while she was teaching a class and she knew it was going on. The power of that ritual spilled onto the streets and into her soul. She received it.
In contrast, the Pharisees participated in a ritual of cleansing that left them unaffected ... unchanged.
Who are we? How are we? What are we? Are we open to the power of the moment? Are we participating in our rituals, compelled by our love for our Divine Beloved? Does our transformation spill out into the streets? Does it affect those we touch? Do we give ourselves to the Holy Presence that connects us and participates with us? Do I? Do you? Do we?
I encourage every one of us to tap in to the Power of the Presence of the Holy. To see our coming together in community as a Sacred ritual and one pregnant with transformation. I encourage all of us to carry ourselves bigger, like the man with the cigar; to bend from the strength of the blowing of the Holy Spirit, like the trees; and to allow ourselves to be affected to the point that it is evident to others. This isn't about "winning souls for Christ" or "making converts." This is about being affected by the ritual, and then being open to live the power of that miracle.
Specifically, as we prepare for Advent, let's be mindful of the rituals we perform and the choices we make. Let us know what is meaningful for you during Advent. Is there something that you just love? Is there something you feel a longing for? Let us know.
The rituals of this community are sacred and holy. We are a sacred and holy people. Let's hear what Jesus says, that we should practice justice and the love of God, without neglecting our rituals.
Illinois Gender Advocates - Day of Remembrance Vigil
Chicago, Illinois U.S.A.
Illinois Gender Advocates is sponsoring a candlelight vigil hosted by the Center on Halsted scheduled to begin at 5 P.M. on the evening of Sunday, November 16th, 2008 to honor the memory of the transgender and gender variant men and women throughout the world who were killed during the preceding year on account of their gender expression. The vigil will be held on Center of Halsted 's 3rd floor rooftop deck at 3656 North Halsted St. (Halsted & Waveland), Chicago and will last approximately one hour.
The featured speaker will be Diane Schroer, a decorated special forces veteran and terrorism expert, who won her historic sex discrimination case against the Library of Congress on September 19, 2008 (Schroer v. Library of Congress (2008)).
IGA's Day of Remembrance vigil also includes several prominent speakers from the City and from the LGBT community. Speakers include Bill Greaves, the City of Chicago's LGBT Community Liaison; the Rev. Bradley Mickelson, New Spirit Community Church, Oak Park; Rick Garcia, Political Director of Equality Illinois; Casey Schwartz, Health Educator & TYRA Coordinator, Howard Brown Broadway Youth Center; Lois Bates, Transgender Health Manager, Howard Brown; Laura Velazquez, Anti-Violence Project Coordinator, Center on Halsted; Cyndi Richards, Chair, Illinois Gender Advocates and Stevie Conlon, Board Member, Illinois Gender Advocates.
Everyone concerned about the level of violence perpetrated against the LGBT community is welcome and encouraged to attend.
Contact: Stevie Conlon (847) 652-6893 derivativs@aol. com
Illinois Gender Advocates is sponsoring a candlelight vigil hosted by the Center on Halsted scheduled to begin at 5 P.M. on the evening of Sunday, November 16th, 2008 to honor the memory of the transgender and gender variant men and women throughout the world who were killed during the preceding year on account of their gender expression. The vigil will be held on Center of Halsted 's 3rd floor rooftop deck at 3656 North Halsted St. (Halsted & Waveland), Chicago and will last approximately one hour.
The featured speaker will be Diane Schroer, a decorated special forces veteran and terrorism expert, who won her historic sex discrimination case against the Library of Congress on September 19, 2008 (Schroer v. Library of Congress (2008)).
IGA's Day of Remembrance vigil also includes several prominent speakers from the City and from the LGBT community. Speakers include Bill Greaves, the City of Chicago's LGBT Community Liaison; the Rev. Bradley Mickelson, New Spirit Community Church, Oak Park; Rick Garcia, Political Director of Equality Illinois; Casey Schwartz, Health Educator & TYRA Coordinator, Howard Brown Broadway Youth Center; Lois Bates, Transgender Health Manager, Howard Brown; Laura Velazquez, Anti-Violence Project Coordinator, Center on Halsted; Cyndi Richards, Chair, Illinois Gender Advocates and Stevie Conlon, Board Member, Illinois Gender Advocates.
Everyone concerned about the level of violence perpetrated against the LGBT community is welcome and encouraged to attend.
Contact: Stevie Conlon (847) 652-6893 derivativs@aol. com
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Privilege
Texts: Philippians 3 and The Gospel of Mary
Paul is working out what it means to have privilege. He knows who he is in his society, what it gains him, and how to use it. He also knows that his privilege is a contrived notion of his religious, political, and civic culture. His Christian belief leads him to the conclusion that all his perceived superiority is bunk - it's meaningless. But he acknowledges it's there and he knows where he fits into the system.
Andrew and Peter seem clueless. They don't get that they are speaking out of their privilege as a men in their culture. They might not realize just what that gains them because unlike Paul, they don't have pedigrees and education and wealth. I'm sure they had many of the things that Paul cites as his own, such as circumcision and being born a Hebrew of Hebrews, but they do not have everything. That doesn't let them off the hook though. Being mindless about where you fit into society and how that works for you is not what Jesus taught. Peter and Andrew seem to believe that Jesus abides by the hierarchy that is in place. That Jesus might have confided in a woman is simply unthinkable. It offends them. It confuses them. And it makes them mad.
Levi gets it, that there is no harm done to him as a man if the Savior confided in Mary and not in him. He speaks up for Mary. He uses his voice as a man to confront another man. He hears the words of Mary, honors them, does not add to them or make excuses for her having them instead of him, and he calls out Peter specifically and Andrew by implication, on their privilege and their oppression.
Mary, although she cried, did not discount what she said. She did not apologize or imply that maybe she hadn't got it right. She seems a little baffled that Peter and Andrew are attacking her relationship with Jesus and the knowledge that she has. She's upset, and she may not be responding as assertively as I wish she was, but she isn't backing down.
Paul is not backing down either. There are people who are cutting him down, lying about him, and doing so, apparently, based on their claims of who they are compared with who he is. Paul cites all the reasons that he could be given more status, or at least equal status, with his challengers, and then he says that all that stuff doesn't really matter. It is easier for a person with privilege to call themselves out and be heard by someone of their same privilege than it is for a person without privilege to call out someone who has privilege. Those of us who have privilege of any kind need to acknowledge what it is and then lay it down like Paul does here, and like Paul said Jesus did. Back in the 2nd chapter of this letter to the Philippians Paul wrote this:
Phil 2:4 - 8 Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death - even death on a cross.
It is not the responsibility of the oppressed to teach the oppressor that they are being exploited and abused because of privilege. The responsibility usually lands on the oppressed to teach this, but it isn't right. According to Paul, Jesus knew he was "in the form of God" and yet Jesus did not act like God. He sought out solidarity with those who were being oppressed and he chose to fight on their behalf that way. Paul is taking a stab to do the same thing.
I think it's important to look at the difference between the solidarity model of action and the saviour model of action. Jesus is called the Saviour, but his action plan was more that of solidarity. He didn't swoop into a situation, taking away the agency of the person being oppressed and "save" them. He asked the oppressed person what they wanted and he provided what he could. When he stuck up for people that the system was crushing, he did so not by fixing the situation but by revealing the nature of the oppression. Jesus was a really smart guy. I don't know that I can attain to that level of insight or strength. I do know that the way he modeled being a saviour was unlike the way it is usually done.
When it is said that someone has a messiah complex or a saviour complex it means that a person is out to fix everything, using their own power and being willing to destroy themselves in the process. I don't actually think this is what Jesus did. Yes, he died for what he believed and for what he did, but he did so not because he was out to fix everything, but because he was out to reveal what we wrong.
Let's take an account of our privilege, in the spirit of Paul. List all the ways in which you can claim some kind of status. Are you white? Are you a man? Do you have an education? Are you able-bodied? Are you straight? Do you have money?
If you are white, don't not be white, but be white differently. If you are a man, don't not be a man, but be a man differently. If you have an education, don't give up your education, but be educated differently. How can we live differently - mindfully - knowing who we are and where we plug in to the system; not denounce or be ashamed of the advantages that we have, but instead seek solidarity with those we could easily oppress just by the shear fact of some accident of birth.
The privileges that we have here are manufactured. Paul knew that. Jesus knew that. So while the privileges that we experience, even enjoy, are not real on any essential level, they are real in the fundamental working out of our every day lives. By virtue of my white skin I have access to shopping in stores of all kinds, walking alone in parks, and attaining services without a hitch. By virtue of my being female-bodied, most of the time I do not have access to walking alone in a park at night or getting the same pay for the same work as a male-bodied person.
Think about who you are and where you fit in. This is not an exercise for shame or arrogance. This is a way to follow Jesus. Recognizing that I am white and listening to the stories of people of colour help me to be in solidarity with my siblings of colour because I know better what privileges I gain by virtue of my skin and I know more what my siblings are denied by virtue of their skin. This is important.
Too often we don't notice how concerned we are with losing our status. Like Peter we become confounded when someone who is clearly not at our level knows something or can do something that should be ours to know or do. How can we be more like Levi than Peter? How can we be a voice to speak up against those who are fighting for their own status and power?
Levi said, "Peter, you always angry." Levi called out Peter on his anger and his assumptions. He did so without taking away Mary's agency. This is something that is a challenge to learn how to do. It's much more automatic to be ashamed of our privilege, to try to deny it, or to swoop in and save someone who is being ridiculed or hated. It takes more thought to act simply and without an investment in the self. Calling out Peter was a simple act, but a profound one.
As we go through our days we hear people saying all kinds of things and doing all kinds of things. We can learn to listen to the prevalent speech and action patterns of those who have privilege and also learn to listen and believe the words of those who are oppressed in our world. When we do this, we have a better chance of learning how to live in solidarity with our siblings who endure oppression, to notice the systematic way in which we are divided from one another, and the inroads to calling out oppression when we see it. We can be like Levi. It will take thought and compassion, but we can do it.
Paul is working out what it means to have privilege. He knows who he is in his society, what it gains him, and how to use it. He also knows that his privilege is a contrived notion of his religious, political, and civic culture. His Christian belief leads him to the conclusion that all his perceived superiority is bunk - it's meaningless. But he acknowledges it's there and he knows where he fits into the system.
Andrew and Peter seem clueless. They don't get that they are speaking out of their privilege as a men in their culture. They might not realize just what that gains them because unlike Paul, they don't have pedigrees and education and wealth. I'm sure they had many of the things that Paul cites as his own, such as circumcision and being born a Hebrew of Hebrews, but they do not have everything. That doesn't let them off the hook though. Being mindless about where you fit into society and how that works for you is not what Jesus taught. Peter and Andrew seem to believe that Jesus abides by the hierarchy that is in place. That Jesus might have confided in a woman is simply unthinkable. It offends them. It confuses them. And it makes them mad.
Levi gets it, that there is no harm done to him as a man if the Savior confided in Mary and not in him. He speaks up for Mary. He uses his voice as a man to confront another man. He hears the words of Mary, honors them, does not add to them or make excuses for her having them instead of him, and he calls out Peter specifically and Andrew by implication, on their privilege and their oppression.
Mary, although she cried, did not discount what she said. She did not apologize or imply that maybe she hadn't got it right. She seems a little baffled that Peter and Andrew are attacking her relationship with Jesus and the knowledge that she has. She's upset, and she may not be responding as assertively as I wish she was, but she isn't backing down.
Paul is not backing down either. There are people who are cutting him down, lying about him, and doing so, apparently, based on their claims of who they are compared with who he is. Paul cites all the reasons that he could be given more status, or at least equal status, with his challengers, and then he says that all that stuff doesn't really matter. It is easier for a person with privilege to call themselves out and be heard by someone of their same privilege than it is for a person without privilege to call out someone who has privilege. Those of us who have privilege of any kind need to acknowledge what it is and then lay it down like Paul does here, and like Paul said Jesus did. Back in the 2nd chapter of this letter to the Philippians Paul wrote this:
Phil 2:4 - 8 Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death - even death on a cross.
It is not the responsibility of the oppressed to teach the oppressor that they are being exploited and abused because of privilege. The responsibility usually lands on the oppressed to teach this, but it isn't right. According to Paul, Jesus knew he was "in the form of God" and yet Jesus did not act like God. He sought out solidarity with those who were being oppressed and he chose to fight on their behalf that way. Paul is taking a stab to do the same thing.
I think it's important to look at the difference between the solidarity model of action and the saviour model of action. Jesus is called the Saviour, but his action plan was more that of solidarity. He didn't swoop into a situation, taking away the agency of the person being oppressed and "save" them. He asked the oppressed person what they wanted and he provided what he could. When he stuck up for people that the system was crushing, he did so not by fixing the situation but by revealing the nature of the oppression. Jesus was a really smart guy. I don't know that I can attain to that level of insight or strength. I do know that the way he modeled being a saviour was unlike the way it is usually done.
When it is said that someone has a messiah complex or a saviour complex it means that a person is out to fix everything, using their own power and being willing to destroy themselves in the process. I don't actually think this is what Jesus did. Yes, he died for what he believed and for what he did, but he did so not because he was out to fix everything, but because he was out to reveal what we wrong.
Let's take an account of our privilege, in the spirit of Paul. List all the ways in which you can claim some kind of status. Are you white? Are you a man? Do you have an education? Are you able-bodied? Are you straight? Do you have money?
If you are white, don't not be white, but be white differently. If you are a man, don't not be a man, but be a man differently. If you have an education, don't give up your education, but be educated differently. How can we live differently - mindfully - knowing who we are and where we plug in to the system; not denounce or be ashamed of the advantages that we have, but instead seek solidarity with those we could easily oppress just by the shear fact of some accident of birth.
The privileges that we have here are manufactured. Paul knew that. Jesus knew that. So while the privileges that we experience, even enjoy, are not real on any essential level, they are real in the fundamental working out of our every day lives. By virtue of my white skin I have access to shopping in stores of all kinds, walking alone in parks, and attaining services without a hitch. By virtue of my being female-bodied, most of the time I do not have access to walking alone in a park at night or getting the same pay for the same work as a male-bodied person.
Think about who you are and where you fit in. This is not an exercise for shame or arrogance. This is a way to follow Jesus. Recognizing that I am white and listening to the stories of people of colour help me to be in solidarity with my siblings of colour because I know better what privileges I gain by virtue of my skin and I know more what my siblings are denied by virtue of their skin. This is important.
Too often we don't notice how concerned we are with losing our status. Like Peter we become confounded when someone who is clearly not at our level knows something or can do something that should be ours to know or do. How can we be more like Levi than Peter? How can we be a voice to speak up against those who are fighting for their own status and power?
Levi said, "Peter, you always angry." Levi called out Peter on his anger and his assumptions. He did so without taking away Mary's agency. This is something that is a challenge to learn how to do. It's much more automatic to be ashamed of our privilege, to try to deny it, or to swoop in and save someone who is being ridiculed or hated. It takes more thought to act simply and without an investment in the self. Calling out Peter was a simple act, but a profound one.
As we go through our days we hear people saying all kinds of things and doing all kinds of things. We can learn to listen to the prevalent speech and action patterns of those who have privilege and also learn to listen and believe the words of those who are oppressed in our world. When we do this, we have a better chance of learning how to live in solidarity with our siblings who endure oppression, to notice the systematic way in which we are divided from one another, and the inroads to calling out oppression when we see it. We can be like Levi. It will take thought and compassion, but we can do it.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Ferron Writing Workshop
Over the weekend I went to The Gathering, which is the yearly, well, gathering of the Brethren Mennonite Council for LGBT Interests. I had a great time.
One of the workshop leaders was Ferron. She performed some of her songs for us Friday night and then on Saturday she lead a writing workshop.
I wrote this poem there.
Ghost of the Fire
I watch them make a ring
Sitting on the stones
Laying on each other
Taking off their shoes
I watch them in the ring
Playing their guitars
Singing many songs
Tapping tambourines
I watch them in the ring
Laughing at jokes
Cuddling real close
Whispering secrets
I watch them in the ring
Warmed by the fire
Comforted by the magic
Crackling of the fire
I watch them in the ring
Leaving for their homes
Filled with the night
Walking from the fire
I am alone
Memories of the music
Tingling with their energy
Tending to the fire
I bring the sand
Pouring it on the fire
Noticing the ashes
Causing sparks to fly
I am the one
Summoning the night
Calling forth the dark
Releasing the sacred ghost
I stay behind
Dancing with the smoke
Embrace the sacred ghost
The ghost of the fire
One of the workshop leaders was Ferron. She performed some of her songs for us Friday night and then on Saturday she lead a writing workshop.
I wrote this poem there.
Ghost of the Fire
I watch them make a ring
Sitting on the stones
Laying on each other
Taking off their shoes
I watch them in the ring
Playing their guitars
Singing many songs
Tapping tambourines
I watch them in the ring
Laughing at jokes
Cuddling real close
Whispering secrets
I watch them in the ring
Warmed by the fire
Comforted by the magic
Crackling of the fire
I watch them in the ring
Leaving for their homes
Filled with the night
Walking from the fire
I am alone
Memories of the music
Tingling with their energy
Tending to the fire
I bring the sand
Pouring it on the fire
Noticing the ashes
Causing sparks to fly
I am the one
Summoning the night
Calling forth the dark
Releasing the sacred ghost
I stay behind
Dancing with the smoke
Embrace the sacred ghost
The ghost of the fire
Monday, October 06, 2008
Legacy
The texts: Philippians 2 and the story of the Caterpillar from Adventures of Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll.
Last week we read that Paul didn’t care why preachers were preaching about Christ, whether it was from selfish ambition or from a pure heart. This week we read that Paul requests those in the church at Philippi, and by extension us as well, to not do anything from selfish ambition. Neither should we do things from conceit. Paul teaches that we also shouldn’t murmur or argue. This description of having a good attitude and maintaining harmonious relationships with each other Paul summarizes as “holding fast to the word of life.” This legacy that he leaves will enable him to boast on the day of Christ that he did not run or labor in vain. Even though this legacy is what is causing him to be imprisoned, he says it is what makes him rejoice.
October is Queer History month. October wasn’t always a month to commemorate the history of queer people in the United States. It was established in the early 1990’s, in part due to October 11th already being Coming Out Day. Coming Out Day was instituted in 1989. What preceded all of this, though, were the Stonewall Riots and a gay rights movement led in many ways by Sylvia Rivera. Ms. Rivera was a genderqueer drag queen who threw one of the first bottles at the cops who were invading their sanctuary, a bar called the Stonewall Inn. Sylvia suffered for the freedom of queers, especially the youth.
Paul and Sylvia – an unlikely combination to some, but a natural one for me - both helped to spearhead a movement of rag-tag people trying to figure out the best way to live life. Both were ridiculed by people both in the movement and outside of the movement. We are the legacy of both these pioneers. How we handle ourselves now reflects on the work they did then. What we do today leaves a legacy for those who follow us.
Sylvia and Paul both knew that people had to change. The people they were speaking to had to change from being weak to being strong and they had to change from being selfish to being selfless. I struggle with how to talk about how we can be meek and not weak. I know that we need to be self assertive and not selfish. I believe we need to put others first while we make sure to take care of ourselves. The revolutions that Sylvia and Paul were leading required people to walk this line. Knowing who you were was the only way to be able to truly put others first.
Jesus knew who he was. He took care of himself by stealing away to the mountains to pray so that when the throng pressed he could be strong. When he didn’t have an answer to a question, he would say he didn’t know. He was grounded in his faith and in the reality of who he was and in his mission. People called him King, but he knew his title, whatever it was that they decided to call him on any given day, did not and could not dictate the choices he made or the way he moved through the world. If he was a King, it was not as the world understood Kingship. If he was a bringer of Peace, it was not as the world knew peace. He was reconstructing ideals and expectations.
This is the legacy that Jesus left Paul. Paul taught this radical restructuring to the Philippians. Sylvia taught her radical restructuring of what it meant to be a queer person of value to the homeless queer youth in New York City. She was, by most accounts, considered to be a freak. She was not defined by the heterosexist society outside or inside of her sub-culture. Paul and Sylvia wanted to see change. They left us a legacy of walking in the tension between being confident in themselves and what they knew to be true, and giving all they had for the sake of the radical restructuring they knew needed to happen.
Change is hard. Depending on what the change is – how extreme or in what aspect of our being – we might believe, like Alice, that we don’t even know who we are anymore. The Caterpillar asks Alice, “So you think you’ve changed, do you?” She replies, “I’m afraid I am, Sir.” But there is change and there is change. The change that Alice was experiencing, or at least what she was describing to Caterpillar, was not convincing him that she was undergoing true change.
Alice feels like she’s changed so much that she doesn’t know who she is anymore. Caterpillar is suggesting that she hasn’t really changed at all. Each of them has a different definition of change. Both of them are influenced by what change has been and meant in their past. I don’t think we have the right to decide for someone else if their change is true change, however, sometimes an objective opinion is helpful when we are looking at ourselves. Regardless of what Caterpillar thinks, Alice doesn’t feel like she knows herself anymore. She has become very large and very small over and over, and when she tries to recite stories that she knows well, the words are changed and unfamiliar to her. The legacy that she knew to be hers was altering. The stories that she knew were changing. Her perspective of the world changes with her size. All that she expected, because of what she had previously known, she could not count on anymore.
Paul, I believe, is asking us to participate in a similar shift of expectations. He instructs the Philippians to not give up their joy because it results in his imprisonment, but rather to maintain their joy so that his imprisonment is not in vain. Sylvia Rivera might have played the social game better and become a charismatic leader with an influential following. But for her, true change was not buying into a system for the sake of rising higher in ego or status. She wanted to see people free to be who they really are, regardless of how they would be accepted – regardless of who the mainstream of society or even a movement wants people to be.
Alice learned how to be Alice in the world of Wonderland. Paul learned how to be Paul and Sylvia learned how to be Sylvia. Sometimes in order for us to grapple with our future, we need to look at our legacy – the one left to us and the one we are leaving for others. I think change itself is one of our most prominent legacies, both in our faith walk and in our queer social rights movement. Change in the form of evolving.
Plus, we are in a world that has a value system much different than ours. We need to constantly be evolving away from assimilating into that system and remember who we are and what we value. Paul is concerned that the Philippians will be influenced by those preaching Christ for the sake of seeking their own self interests. As much as he says he is glad that Christ is preached regardless of motive, he clearly doesn’t plan on sending these folks to minister to his flock. He is very particular about who he sends while he is away. Timothy, he says, is the only one left who he can trust to send. But then he mentions Epaphroditus, who he also trusts. Paul sometimes is given to a bit of hyperbole. The point is, though, that he doesn’t trust the legacy he is leaving to just anyone. Paul may also have a control issue. I don’t know how tight of a grip we should have on these kinds of things. I think being mindful of our legacy, the one we’ve received and the one that we are leaving, is crucial. I don’t believe in micro-managing. I think that we need to allow people to have agency and to listen with their own critical ears.
I was reading a piece from the American Baptist Church, USA’s website. It is called: 10 Facts You Should Know About American Baptists. Point number 4 is this:
American Baptists believe that the committed individual Christian can and should approach God directly, and that individual gifts of ministry should be shared. American Baptists hold that all who truly seek God are both competent and called to develop in that relationship. They have rejected creeds or other statements that might compromise each believer’s obligation to interpret Scripture under the guidance of the Holy Spirit and within the community of faith. American Baptists also celebrate the special gifts of all believers, testifying that God can use each of us in ministry.
I want to highlight two of these sentences. The first is: “American Baptists hold that all who truly seek God are both competent and called to develop in that relationship.” The second is: “American Baptists also celebrate the special gifts of all believers, testifying that God can use each of us in ministry.” I believe this. This is a part of the legacy that we are to live into. Paul speaks to this ideal often when he talks in his letters. Jesus sent his disciples out often and expected them to be competent in their ministry.
We don’t have to have any more of a special anointing or calling to share our special gifts and to cultivate our own relationship with our Divine Beloved, than the anointing of being made in the image of our Creator and the calling of our hearts to participate in community.
Paul and Sylvia did not wait to be perfect before they began their work. The truth is, most of the time we are all like Alice, not knowing who we are because we are changing so much, but we will not stay there. We must remember our legacy, and that part of our legacy is to go through these evolutions – to go through these changes. Let us be mindful of who we are, who we think we are, and who we are to become. This is our journey – our calling. We are to walk the line of being strong and being meek; of being confident and being other-centered. We need to be mindful of our needs, our weaknesses and our strengths as we “work out our own salvation,” so that we can be free to share everything that we have. This is our legacy.
Last week we read that Paul didn’t care why preachers were preaching about Christ, whether it was from selfish ambition or from a pure heart. This week we read that Paul requests those in the church at Philippi, and by extension us as well, to not do anything from selfish ambition. Neither should we do things from conceit. Paul teaches that we also shouldn’t murmur or argue. This description of having a good attitude and maintaining harmonious relationships with each other Paul summarizes as “holding fast to the word of life.” This legacy that he leaves will enable him to boast on the day of Christ that he did not run or labor in vain. Even though this legacy is what is causing him to be imprisoned, he says it is what makes him rejoice.
October is Queer History month. October wasn’t always a month to commemorate the history of queer people in the United States. It was established in the early 1990’s, in part due to October 11th already being Coming Out Day. Coming Out Day was instituted in 1989. What preceded all of this, though, were the Stonewall Riots and a gay rights movement led in many ways by Sylvia Rivera. Ms. Rivera was a genderqueer drag queen who threw one of the first bottles at the cops who were invading their sanctuary, a bar called the Stonewall Inn. Sylvia suffered for the freedom of queers, especially the youth.
Paul and Sylvia – an unlikely combination to some, but a natural one for me - both helped to spearhead a movement of rag-tag people trying to figure out the best way to live life. Both were ridiculed by people both in the movement and outside of the movement. We are the legacy of both these pioneers. How we handle ourselves now reflects on the work they did then. What we do today leaves a legacy for those who follow us.
Sylvia and Paul both knew that people had to change. The people they were speaking to had to change from being weak to being strong and they had to change from being selfish to being selfless. I struggle with how to talk about how we can be meek and not weak. I know that we need to be self assertive and not selfish. I believe we need to put others first while we make sure to take care of ourselves. The revolutions that Sylvia and Paul were leading required people to walk this line. Knowing who you were was the only way to be able to truly put others first.
Jesus knew who he was. He took care of himself by stealing away to the mountains to pray so that when the throng pressed he could be strong. When he didn’t have an answer to a question, he would say he didn’t know. He was grounded in his faith and in the reality of who he was and in his mission. People called him King, but he knew his title, whatever it was that they decided to call him on any given day, did not and could not dictate the choices he made or the way he moved through the world. If he was a King, it was not as the world understood Kingship. If he was a bringer of Peace, it was not as the world knew peace. He was reconstructing ideals and expectations.
This is the legacy that Jesus left Paul. Paul taught this radical restructuring to the Philippians. Sylvia taught her radical restructuring of what it meant to be a queer person of value to the homeless queer youth in New York City. She was, by most accounts, considered to be a freak. She was not defined by the heterosexist society outside or inside of her sub-culture. Paul and Sylvia wanted to see change. They left us a legacy of walking in the tension between being confident in themselves and what they knew to be true, and giving all they had for the sake of the radical restructuring they knew needed to happen.
Change is hard. Depending on what the change is – how extreme or in what aspect of our being – we might believe, like Alice, that we don’t even know who we are anymore. The Caterpillar asks Alice, “So you think you’ve changed, do you?” She replies, “I’m afraid I am, Sir.” But there is change and there is change. The change that Alice was experiencing, or at least what she was describing to Caterpillar, was not convincing him that she was undergoing true change.
Alice feels like she’s changed so much that she doesn’t know who she is anymore. Caterpillar is suggesting that she hasn’t really changed at all. Each of them has a different definition of change. Both of them are influenced by what change has been and meant in their past. I don’t think we have the right to decide for someone else if their change is true change, however, sometimes an objective opinion is helpful when we are looking at ourselves. Regardless of what Caterpillar thinks, Alice doesn’t feel like she knows herself anymore. She has become very large and very small over and over, and when she tries to recite stories that she knows well, the words are changed and unfamiliar to her. The legacy that she knew to be hers was altering. The stories that she knew were changing. Her perspective of the world changes with her size. All that she expected, because of what she had previously known, she could not count on anymore.
Paul, I believe, is asking us to participate in a similar shift of expectations. He instructs the Philippians to not give up their joy because it results in his imprisonment, but rather to maintain their joy so that his imprisonment is not in vain. Sylvia Rivera might have played the social game better and become a charismatic leader with an influential following. But for her, true change was not buying into a system for the sake of rising higher in ego or status. She wanted to see people free to be who they really are, regardless of how they would be accepted – regardless of who the mainstream of society or even a movement wants people to be.
Alice learned how to be Alice in the world of Wonderland. Paul learned how to be Paul and Sylvia learned how to be Sylvia. Sometimes in order for us to grapple with our future, we need to look at our legacy – the one left to us and the one we are leaving for others. I think change itself is one of our most prominent legacies, both in our faith walk and in our queer social rights movement. Change in the form of evolving.
Plus, we are in a world that has a value system much different than ours. We need to constantly be evolving away from assimilating into that system and remember who we are and what we value. Paul is concerned that the Philippians will be influenced by those preaching Christ for the sake of seeking their own self interests. As much as he says he is glad that Christ is preached regardless of motive, he clearly doesn’t plan on sending these folks to minister to his flock. He is very particular about who he sends while he is away. Timothy, he says, is the only one left who he can trust to send. But then he mentions Epaphroditus, who he also trusts. Paul sometimes is given to a bit of hyperbole. The point is, though, that he doesn’t trust the legacy he is leaving to just anyone. Paul may also have a control issue. I don’t know how tight of a grip we should have on these kinds of things. I think being mindful of our legacy, the one we’ve received and the one that we are leaving, is crucial. I don’t believe in micro-managing. I think that we need to allow people to have agency and to listen with their own critical ears.
I was reading a piece from the American Baptist Church, USA’s website. It is called: 10 Facts You Should Know About American Baptists. Point number 4 is this:
American Baptists believe that the committed individual Christian can and should approach God directly, and that individual gifts of ministry should be shared. American Baptists hold that all who truly seek God are both competent and called to develop in that relationship. They have rejected creeds or other statements that might compromise each believer’s obligation to interpret Scripture under the guidance of the Holy Spirit and within the community of faith. American Baptists also celebrate the special gifts of all believers, testifying that God can use each of us in ministry.
I want to highlight two of these sentences. The first is: “American Baptists hold that all who truly seek God are both competent and called to develop in that relationship.” The second is: “American Baptists also celebrate the special gifts of all believers, testifying that God can use each of us in ministry.” I believe this. This is a part of the legacy that we are to live into. Paul speaks to this ideal often when he talks in his letters. Jesus sent his disciples out often and expected them to be competent in their ministry.
We don’t have to have any more of a special anointing or calling to share our special gifts and to cultivate our own relationship with our Divine Beloved, than the anointing of being made in the image of our Creator and the calling of our hearts to participate in community.
Paul and Sylvia did not wait to be perfect before they began their work. The truth is, most of the time we are all like Alice, not knowing who we are because we are changing so much, but we will not stay there. We must remember our legacy, and that part of our legacy is to go through these evolutions – to go through these changes. Let us be mindful of who we are, who we think we are, and who we are to become. This is our journey – our calling. We are to walk the line of being strong and being meek; of being confident and being other-centered. We need to be mindful of our needs, our weaknesses and our strengths as we “work out our own salvation,” so that we can be free to share everything that we have. This is our legacy.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Concern for Queer Homeless Youth
Recently I wrote/preached about an idea to start a garden as a way to engage queer homeless youth in Chicago. Today I came across Coffee and Gender's, Thursday, 09-25-08 post, Support the Memoirs of Homeless Queer Youth
If you are concerned about youth queer homelessness, please read the post, watch the videos (they are each less than 2 minutes), and check out the website http://kickedoutanthology.com/.
Thanks Mike, for posting this.
If you are concerned about youth queer homelessness, please read the post, watch the videos (they are each less than 2 minutes), and check out the website http://kickedoutanthology.com/.
Thanks Mike, for posting this.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
Posts
