The Filter

As I was walking the 3/4 mile trip from the train to my work yesterday, I was feeling a pressure of resistance to being mindful and to participating in the sacrality of all creation. I was struggling to "think on these things - whatever is holy and just; whatever is of good report; etc." I was struggling to find happiness or joy.

I started to breathe with intention. I began to imagine myself breathing life. As I began to "see" molecules of life in the atmosphere surrounding me, and I was about to inhale, I also saw a plethora of molecules that were toxic. They were molecules of greed and selfish ambition. They were molecules of blame and trickery. They were molecules of every kind of violence. I realized that I could not inhale because as much as I wanted Life, there were too many toxins - too much pollution. I could not breathe all that pollution.

Then I was shown a filter to wear. That seemed reasonable. I still had about half of my journey left and I wanted to get to work with a little Life in me. It was a filter that would keep the toxins out and allow me to breathe in Life. I took a deep breathe, but I was only able to take the one breath before the surface of the filter was clogged. It was covered with the pollution. No more Life could get through. Again, I could not breathe.

I did not know if I should take off the filter or keep it in place. I started to consider the problem and was reminded that it wasn't enough to take the toxins off the filter and throw them away. The toxins needed to be dissolved. This perplexed me. Also, I was only a few blocks from work. I saw the image of the toxins dissolving and asked what would do that. To be honest, I didn't like the answer at first. I was not ready for the answer. I saw that it was Love that would dissolve the toxins. Love. I didn't want to Love. Not then. Not there. But in order for me to breathe Life I saw that I had to access Love.

Since I did not have a reservoir of Love within me at the moment I called out to the Source - to the Presence - and asked for Love to be applied so that I could breathe. Even though I did not have a reservoir of Love within me I knew that I did not want to be walking around without Life. I gathered my strength, because Love is not a tame energy. Love found the toxins that were on the filter and worked to dissolve them. I was better able to breathe Life. Love also found the toxins within me and frankly, it is still working to dissolve them.