Monday, July 21, 2008

Do It Anyway

My sermon from July 20, 2008

Ecclesiastes 10:1 – 11:6

This week's text is filled with practical advice, analogies, consequences, and challenges. Having grown up on a farm, I know the truth of an iron, such as an axe, needing to be whet, or sharpened, so that you don't have to exert as much force. And I know that at some point, if you are splitting logs, you will get hurt by one of them. It isn't about not getting hurt as much as it's about not getting hurt badly.

Verse 11 of chapter 10 talks about not needing a snake charmer if the snake bites you first. The elders in my family had a similar saying, "No point closing the barn door once the horse is out of the barn." That's what they would tell us kids. It is the same as saying, "too little too late." We were being taught to look ahead, make plans and provisions, to think about consequences - stuff like that.

One of my favorite proverbs is Proverbs 14:4, "Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox." When I first read this at 15 years of age I had been pitching manure for years. I also knew that before there were tractors, farmers used oxen to plow their fields. What I considered to be the true meaning of this scripture was not lost on me. This proverb is a metaphor to talk about what's worth doing and what isn't worth doing. If eating in winter is a priority, then maybe it's worth pitching some manure in the summer. There are trade-offs to everything. You have to decide what is most important to you.

Being a part of a faith community is no different. There are some inevitable consequences to joining yourself to other people spiritually and seeking The Holy together. There is a vulnerability to doing this that at some point will end up with you being hurt by someone or hurting someone. Sometimes it happens because of wrongdoing and sometimes it's just because it hurts to be vulnerable. Being part of a faith community costs you time and money and love and ... what else? You know what it costs you. And you do it because you want to. I hope you want to. You do it because it is more important for you to be a part of this community than it is for you to hang on to whatever you might otherwise hang on to. There are trade-offs to everything.

What we read today in chapter 11 is important to keep in mind when we're thinking about these things - things like consequences and trade-offs. The character of Solomon is encouraging us to go into our endeavors with our eyes open, knowing the costs and the hazards, but with all that, we are told to get involved with the endeavor. "Send your bread upon the waters; divide your means; and plant your seeds." In other words, do stuff. Sending your bread and dividing your means is thought by scholars to be metaphors for doing charity. Do stuff - do good stuff.

We don't know how it will all work out. Do it anyway. Verse 4 says, "Whoever observes the wind will not sow; and whoever regards the clouds will not reap." If we wait for the perfect time or the right environment or the perfect/right anything, we'll end up doing nothing.

In "Letter from a Birmingham Jail," dated April 16, 1963, the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, "We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed. Frankly, I have yet to engage in a direct action campaign that was "well timed" in the view of those who have not suffered unduly from the disease of segregation. For years now I have heard the word "Wait!" It rings in the ear of every Negro with piercing familiarity. This "Wait" has almost always meant "Never." We must come to see, with one of our distinguished jurists, that "justice too long delayed is justice denied." The work of Dr. King would have been thwarted had he listened to the word, "Wait."

You might be thinking, "Now pastor, that's really intense." And you'd be right. What Dr. King did was very intense. I'm not saying that we are on the pinnacle of some great revolutionary movement, although I do believe that such things as feeding the poor and sheltering the homeless are in fact revolutionary acts. But I don't want to talk about the acts themselves right now. I am lifting up Dr. King to say that here is a man who did amazing things against all odds, and with enemies on all sides. White men who claimed they were on his side told him to back off and that what he was doing was wrong. What Dr. King was doing was scary to these white so-called allies, and way too aggressive. Dr. King knew that he had to press on. That timeliness was a convenience of those in power. He knew what resources he had and he used them as frequently as he could.

I have questions for us today. What are our resources? What is our passion? How do we want to engage in this world? Financially ... well, let's just say that there are churches better off than we are. So what! Money may not be our resource. What is the bread that is our charity? What are the means that we can share? What seeds do we have as a community? Maybe our bread is experience. We have just had our 20th birthday as a church! We have a legacy in the American Baptist denomination. We know how to struggle with being outcasts. We have been a leader in the fight for the inclusion of queer people in Christianity. We are also leaders in knowing how to love. I see it every week. I see it in your eyes as you look at one another. I see it in the way you offer each other prayers and the elements of our communion table. I see it as you welcome visitors. I see it as you reach out beyond your comfort zone. Yes, I see it here.

We need to bring it out there. We need to figure out our resources so that we can reach out in love to those who don't feel love. I don't care about making converts. I care about offering community to people who feel isolated. I care about getting the word out that we are still here and that we are strong. I care about taking steps forward and not waiting for the right time, because there may not be a right time. Verse 6 says, "In the morning sow your seed, and at evening do not let your hands be idle; for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good." We do not know.

In the 14th chapter of Matthew there's a familiar story about Jesus walking on water.

And early in the morning Jesus came walking toward them on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, saying, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them and said, "Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid." Peter answered him, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." He said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat, started walking on the water, and came toward Jesus. But when he noticed the strong wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!" Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"

It's so easy for us to be like Peter. We might be in the middle of doing the most amazing and wonderful thing and the next thing we know, we feel like we're drowning. We think we're following the very voice of Jesus and then we look at the wind and it's a strong wind and it scares us. Why do we doubt? Is it because we think everything we do should be successful or else we are failures? Do we think if there's resistance, circumstantially or through people, that maybe we should take that as a sign? The story of Peter does not teach us this. Peter didn't even pray that his walking on water be "God's will." Neither did he ask permission. This was a test Peter was giving to Jesus. "Hey man, if it's really you then command me to join you." That's some gutsy talk. But Jesus did it. And Peter followed through. This story also teaches us that when we falter that we can be lifted up. "Save me," Peter shouted.

Following the way of Jesus is a risk-taking venture. Joining a community of faith is a risk-taking venture. Engaging in society is a risk-taking venture. But we can choose the depth of the risks we take. Who do we want to be? Do we want to be leaders? Do we want to love those that others have rejected? Do we want to think outside of our own pattern of doing things to become a force of love to be reckoned with?

I want to walk on water. I want to plant in the morning and at night. I want to learn how to give the resources that I have and not wish for the resources that I think I need. I don't want to wait for the right time because I think that "wait" means "never." I want to follow the way of my teacher, Jesus and my brother, Dr. King.

What ideas can we come up with to make a difference and to let people know that we are a vibrant loving community of faith? What do you think about starting a community garden in one of the city lots and working with queer homeless youth - teaching them how to grow things and giving them the food to eat that they grow. What do you think about starting a support group for battered women? What if we figured out how to restart the coffee house that we used to have? Maybe we could start a choir with the queer homeless youth? I'm just throwing out ideas. What are your ideas? What are your talents? How much time do you have? When can we start?

I'm not sure when our next community meeting is, but will you be there? Will you come and share in the food and brainstorm with us? This is what I think church is. Sure, we gather together on Sunday to encourage one another and to get energy and to remind ourselves that we have something to offer, but it's our whole life that is involved. We can make a difference. I know we can.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

But I Thought ...

This is my sermon from July 6, 2008

Wickedness and Righteousness are not always so clear cut. We think we know what they are and then we meet someone who confuses us or changes our minds. Sometimes we meet our own self and we find out what we were categorizing as righteousness is actually better defined as wickedness - or - that what we defined as wickedness is really more righteous than our righteousness.
Jesus was, and still is, difficult to categorize. The religious leaders of his time disagreed with the common folk, accusing Jesus of such things as being a leader of demons, being a drunkard, and carousing with prostitutes and other sinners. Jesus' followers, however, believed he was sent by God - that he was doing righteous and holy things. Today, when we actually read the words that are attributed to him, it's not always clear what he wants us to understand or learn.

Today I want to talk about expectations and how they become easily foiled - the expectations that Paul had for himself; the expectation of Jesus; the expectations of the writer of Ecclesiastes, and finally, our own expectations.

Let me speak to you for a moment as a Cubs fan. I know that not everyone in this room is a Cubs fan, and I'm not out to convert anyone. It's just that this year we have some high expectations. It's true that every year a Cubs fan has expectations, but this year they have become especially high. Not since 2003 have we been so hopeful. This year, when we swept the Sox at Wrigley Field, I was expecting us to at least win one game against them at Sox Park. Naive? Probably. But I'm a Cubs fan. I have these hopes and dreams and, yes, these expectations. I know that winning the World Series will not bring about the Kingdom of God, although I have heard one interpretation of the Lion laying down with the Lamb as the White Sox playing catch with the Cubs.

What about more serious subjects. What about racism? Now that we have a black man running for the office of the president, there are some folks who have the expectation that that means racism is a thing of the past. The black folks don't so much think this ... it's us white folks who have this idea. We want to say, "See, there is no racism. Look what that (mostly) black man has accomplished." Then, if we listen, we hear our dark skinned sisters and brothers pointing out the racism that they experience in their own lives.

A woman almost got the nomination. Does that mean that the fight against misogyny is over? Queer folks have their own parade. Does that mean the fight against heterosexism and homophobia is over? Jesus rose from the dead conquering sin and death. Does that mean our fight against sin and death is over?

It's just not how it works, is it? We think when we get to "this" certain place ... whatever that place is ... that it will be evidence that we've fought the good fight and won. When we finally get to "that" place, we find that our expectations haven't really been met. It's disappointing - sometimes disheartening.

Last week a woman named Esmin Green - a poor, black, mentally ill woman - was brought to a New York City hospital. She needed treatment. Have many of you heard about this in the news? It's a devastating story. She died on the floor of the hospital waiting room. It's recorded on the hospital's surveillance camera. She was lying on the floor for an hour. People walked by her, both medical personnel and other patients. No one helped her. No one cared enough about her because she was poor and black and mentally ill. One would think once you get to a hospital that you'll not die on the floor of the waiting room. One would think that once we have a black man running for president that this kind of thing would not happen to a black woman. One would think a lot of things ... and their, or rather our, expectations would be dashed.

I have a love/hate relationship with expectations. I know that they are practical to have, such as when you set goals or make plans. I had an expectation that I would preach here today. Some of you may have been expecting to see me here today. There's nothing wrong with making plans. I think it's the investment that we make in the plan that gets us into trouble. The higher the investment, the more disappointed we become when our expectations are foiled.

Think about the disappointment of Jesus' followers with each strike of the hammer as he was being nailed to the cross. They had invested everything in the idea that Jesus was the Messiah who would save them from their political and religious oppressions. Sometimes our expectations keep us from listening. Jesus never promised them freedom from the fight. He promised them the fight and that they could have peace and freedom while fighting.

The writer of Ecclesiastes seems to be saying, "You know, I thought the wicked were supposed to die young and the righteous were supposed to be wealthy and grow old. This isn't what I expected at all." We often overlay our expectations onto life. When someone is poor, they must not be working hard enough or they're not very smart. When someone uses a handicap spot, even if they have a handicap sticker in their car, but they have no discernable symptoms, we may assume they are a jerk. Disease looks like this and poverty looks like that and wealth looks like this other thing ... and so it goes.

Real life doesn't bear these things out, and then we struggle to reconcile our expectations with what is really happening around us. Paul struggles with this in Romans 7 when he says, "For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do." He can't even reconcile his own actions with his core beliefs. And frankly, often, neither can we. In Matthew's gospel Jesus is perplexed and angry. People don't recognize what he thinks should be obvious - who John is and who he is. He sounds heartbroken me - heartbroken and angry. The character of Solomon struggles with disappointment in Ecclesiastes. He says, "When I applied my mind to know wisdom, and to see the business that is done on earth, how one's eyes see sleep neither day nor night, then I saw all the work of God, that no one can find out what is happening under the sun. However much they may toil in seeking, they will not find it out; even though those who are wise claim to know, they cannot find it out."

As we come to the Table today - as we commune together - what are our expectations of what this means? Can we, today, try to put away everything that we think we should think and feel about this? Can we peel away the layers of time and experience that may have dulled our ability to observe the moment and fully participate in the now? If we can do that here, in this vital ritual of our faith, can we then take it outside these walls and observe the now more fully as we live our day to day lives. If we can do that, might we know better who John the Baptist is? Might we recognize Jesus? Might we notice Esmin Green? Might we see each other, our neighbors, our friends, and our foes for who they are and not who we have decided them to be?

I think we will. And, I think if we give ourselves to this practice, we will also know ourselves a little better too. We will become less anxious about our expectations being met because we will have less investment in the expectations and more investment in observing what is right in front of us. I think this is one of the ways that we change the world - one of the ways that we usher in the Kingdom of God. The way is this - We live in now. We feel the power and the truth of now. We work and change things now. We love, now.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Mixed Messages - June 29th Message

Gay Pride is complicated. According to some religious folks and in some places in the Bible we are told that Pride is a sin. On the other hand, we are also taught to take pride in such things as our work or our family. Our English word Pride isn't very specific. Merriam Webster has 6 separate definitions of the word Pride. This is the first definition:

PRIDE
1: the quality or state of being proud: as a: inordinate self-esteem : conceit b: a reasonable or justifiable self-respect c: delight or elation arising from some act, possession, or relationship

Doesn't that sound like 3 definitions? But that's just the first one. Pride is complicated and contradictory.

Ecclesiastes is also complicated and contradictory. I love this chapter because it's so messed up. It's so crude and human. The character of Solomon simultaneously tells us not to be either too righteous or too wicked and then turns around and scorns all women for being unable to meet his standards. He also tells us that death is better than birth and then tells us that death is bitter, but not as bitter as a woman who is a trap. It isn't a woman who lays a trap - the woman herself is the trap. And according to the rest of the chapter all women seem to be this way.

This teacher we've been studying, presumably male, claims to have found one man among a thousand who can meet his standard. Well, Happy Pride everyone. No wonder he finds women to be a trap! This guy's gay and he's blaming it on women rather doing what he has been instructing us for the last few chapters ... to eat, drink, and be merry.

Pride is complex and contradictory. Ecclesiastes is complicated and contradictory. We are complex and contradictory. Each one of us individually and each one of the communities we belong to is complex and contradictory.

As most of you know, I have had a lot of therapy. I'm grateful for that. If you find a really good therapist it's wonderful. I've been lucky to find a few good ones. In one of my sessions with my last therapist a few years back I was troubled because my girlfriend at the time was railing on me for having mixed messages. I didn't know what she was talking about. My therapist listened to my story and finally said, "There's a reason she thinks you have mixed messages, and that's because you have more than one message." I was stunned. I felt guilty and shameful. Quickly my therapist continued. She said, "You have more than one message because you want more than one thing. We all do."

Friends, I learned that anyone who thinks they have one message is lying to themselves. What we need to do is find out what those messages are ... not pretend that we don't have them. When we read any sacred book, especially our own, we need to remember that it too has mixed messages. It doesn't help us to justify them. I think the best thing we can do is look right at them ... look right at the complexities and the contradictions.

My own belief system is riddled with contradictions. I believe that Jesus is our savior – that he is sacred and holy – and I love to worship him. At the same time I believe that Jesus was a human man who was a political and religious revolutionary and that we are all called, like him, to be saviors in our own time. I believe we are all sacred and holy. Does that mean I need to stop giving in to the ecstasy of worshiping Jesus or that I should start worshiping you? It's complicated and there are contradictions.

I have mixed messages. Jesus had mixed messages. The writer of Ecclesiastes had mixed messages. Every one of us has mixed messages. Many of us are queer and proud. At the same time we all make choices when we will come out to people. If we had one message wouldn't we come out to everyone all the time? Life isn't that simple. We have to make choices. Does it negate our pride when we decide not to be forthcoming about our sexual orientation or gender identity? Not necessarily. What's the difference between deceit and prudence? What's the difference between pride that is inordinate self-esteem and pride that is reasonable or justifiable self-respect? At what point is labeling ourselves a badge of honor and acceptance and at what point is it a box that we put ourselves in?

The parade itself has mixed messages. It is both a parade of protest and a parade of privilege. When we march as a church we are protesting the hetero-normative standard of family and faith. This is good to do. I think we also need to be aware that we are staging this parade in a very privileged way. When the fundamentalists are on the side lines with their banners and bull horns we get mad at their audacity and ignorance. Yes, they are audacious and ignorant - I agree with that 100%. However, even if their prejudice and hate is acceptable to many, there are laws that state they are not allowed to hang us or burn us or otherwise cause us physical harm. These laws don't change anyone's heart, but sometimes they protect us. The laws don't protect us all the time. There are enough people with legal authority who will overlook evidence or do any number of things to save their own from punishment, but at least we have something in writing to work with. There are gay pride parades around the world where they are protesting with the hope of getting some of the laws we take for granted. Just for being in the parade these people get put in jail, stoned, or hanged. When we march here, with the freedoms that we have, we are marching on behalf of those who can't. We are demonstrating to the world that there is freedom to be had. We are inciting others who do not have our freedom to go after it for themselves. Sometimes they die trying. Sometimes we do too. When we use our privilege as a chance to protest, isn't that a sort of mixed message? Doesn't it complicate the event? I hope it does. And I hope that we can wrestle with those contradictions and complications.

Peace isn't having a simple message. Freedom isn't about every one being nice to one another and getting to party. Privilege isn't about finally getting to take it easy. All of these ideals are complicated and filled with contradictions. I think the character of Solomon got it right in verses 15 - 18, "In my vain life I have seen everything; there are righteous people who perish in their righteousness, and there are wicked people who prolong their life in their evildoing. Do not be too righteous, and do not act too wise; why should you destroy yourself? Do not be too wicked, and do not be a fool; why should you die before your time? It is good that you should take hold of the one, without letting go of the other; for the one who fears God shall succeed with both."

Many, in their wickedness, have declared us wicked! So friends, in our peace-seeking and freedom-fighting let us take hold of our righteousness alongside our wickedness. In our privilege let us fight against oppression. And above all, let us remember that the one who respects and loves God succeeds, both with wisdom and folly, with righteousness and wickedness. We need to let our love for our Divine Beloved motivate us in our righteousness and our wickedness. As you move through this world, take hold of one without letting go of the other.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Esmin Green - Death By Racism and Classism

First, I want to direct your attention to Womanist Musings - http://www.womanist-musings.com/2008/07/esmin-greenyes-she-mattered.html

Second, I want to tell you the little that we know about Ms Green. She was black. She was poor. She was mentally ill. She died alone in a room full of people, including health professionals who ignored her. There is a video surveillance of her death in the hospital waiting room.

Third, I need to say this ...

The blatant disregard for Ms. Green's humanity and sacred worth makes me want to vomit. It also makes me want to storm the temple of whiteness and capitalism with a cat o' nine tails. Ms. Green wasn't going to make anyone any richer or feel any whiter than they already were or felt, so they let her die on the floor of a hospital waiting room.

This is a Disgrace! This is Shameful! Had this been a middle class white man would this have happened? How about a middle class white woman? I doubt it. We treat our pets better than we treat the Esmin Green's of our communities. It isn't enough to finger point at New York or at whatever hospital she was it. What are we going to DO?

Will each one of us, especially each one of us white people, take the time to look for the Esmin Green's who are laying on the floor of hospital waiting rooms and ask someone for some HELP? Will we notice people on the subway? In the alley? On our streets where we live ... no, where they live and where we walk from and into our houses?

I am not simply suggesting that we "righteous white people" help those poor black people. I am calling upon us to connect with our siblings; to love because not loving is being abusive; and to see the people that the system of white middle class privilege has rendered invisible.

Will you? Will you do it?