In Which A Theatre Degree Is A Useful Thing

I graduated from Western Michigan University in 1991 with a degree. It was basically a theatre degree with out "Costume Shop" and "Stage, Lighting, and Sound" classes; a dance degree, but umm, with very little dancing (I blew my knee out and could barely walk .... ); and a "Journalism Degree" without ... oh ... I don't know ... a couple of classes they thought were important. The degree was in the Student Planned Curriculum program and its actual name is "Writing for the Arts with a Critical Analysis in Dance". - Because of my bum knee I decided to be a Theatre and Dance Critic or maybe a Theatre Director. I married a man instead.

Today, however, I find that my theatre degree is A Useful Thing. Now, I'm not saying that I've never used my theatre degree. I started a theatre company in Chicago, produced three plays, and lost lots of money; I've directed high school musicals; and of course I've produced, written, and directed many "Contemporary Christian" plays (some of them not bad actually). But I haven't really been valuing my theatre degree ... until today. Today I preached in Hammond, IN.

When I have preached before it has been to congregations that I've known. Today I stood before total strangers, with the exception of my beloved wife, and I preached a sermon I called "Hearing God’s Voice"

The many comments from the congregation in the receiving line included, "What a clear voice you have"; "You have a wonderful presence up there"; and "You are nice and loud". My beloved (who had never heard me preach before) said to me something like, "That's not what you did when you were practicing. You surprised me. You even used different voices."

Since starting seminary I've been bummed that I don't have an undergraduate degree in Religious Studies. Today, I think maybe it's gonna work out. I am very encouraged and now grateful in a new way for all the work I did in my acting classes!

And if you'd like to read the sermon I preached ... here it is. I wanted to put it behind a cut, but am not sure how to do that.


Hearing God's Voice

Job 38:1-7, (34-41)
Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind: "Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge? Gird up your loins like a man, I will question you, and you shall declare to me. "Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements—surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? On what were its bases sunk, or who laid its cornerstone when the morning stars sang together and all the heavenly beings shouted for joy?


Let us pray

Mighty God, show forth your truth through your grace as we explore together the meanings within the scriptures.


As I read the scripture in Job I have to ask myself, Why? Why did God say these things to Job? To find out, I think we have to go all the way back to when Job is trying to figure out what happened that his life has gone so terribly wrong. In the midst of him justifying himself to God and his friends and family Job says, O that I had one to hear me! … Let the Almighty answer me! (Job 31:35) – Well now there’s a bold prayer.

You don’t have to raise your hands, but have you ever had situations in your life that made you pray like that? Have you ever been so grieved, or confused, or angry that after you analyzed your life you ended up calling out to God saying, Are you there??? Are you listening??? Won’t you answer me??? I know I have. I have come to the end of my understanding many times and called out to God and said, Now would be a good time to let me in on the secret. C’mon God, what’s going on!!!

Sometimes I’m justifying myself. Sometimes I’m confused. Sometimes I’m in the right and sometimes I’m in the wrong. But I believe one of God’s main concerns when we pray is our being genuine. A part of being genuine in prayer is listening for God’s answer.

Job said, O that I had one to hear me! … Let the Almighty answer me! (Job 31:35). And several chapters later, after Job’s friend gave his advice, Job heard the voice of God. This particular answer of God’s was not especially warm and fuzzy. God questions and challenges Job. The section of Job that we read is merely the tip of the iceberg. God goes on for many chapters giving Job a kind of attitude adjustment.

It reminds me of one conversation that I had with my mother. I was 19 years old and I was frustrated with my life and I was frustrated with her rules. In a fit of anger I stated with defiance, “I want what I want when I want it.” To which she replied, “You’ll get what you get when you get it!” I was dumbfounded. While she put an end to that conversation, once I cooled down we were soon able to have another conversation … one more reasonable and effective. But that first conversation was imperative for us to have the next one. My mother was still my mother. She didn’t stop talking to me. She didn’t throw me out of the family. She put me in my place but continued to love me. She was a wonderful example of God to me. I know that I am very lucky.

Job doesn’t end with God’s harsh corrective words. After a bit, Job comes to his senses, much like I did with my mother. Job apologizes to God and acknowledges God’s authority and rightful place in his life. And much like my mother and myself, Job and God were then able to restore their relationship. Most of us know the ending of Job; God gives him back his wealth, his health, and his happiness.

But that’s not where we are in the story today. Today we are in the hard part of the story – the part of the story that we don’t like. But there is good news in this part of the story. The good news is that we can approach God and God will answer us. In our psalm today we read; When they call to me, I will answer them. – When they call to me, I will answer them. This is good news. We don’t have a God that is far off or disinterested. The One we call God is ready to listen to us no matter what we say. And we should be bold enough to talk to God in our real voice … not in some religious voice. But we should also be brave enough to hear God talk back to us.

Here are a couple of examples that I hope encourage us to talk to God, to pray, in a real way.

Mark 10:35 – 40
James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came forward to Jesus and said to him, "Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you." – Can you believe that they asked that? Talk about bold. But Jesus didn’t say, “How dare you talk to me like that!” – Jesus said to them, "What is it you want me to do for you?" And they said to him, "Grant us to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your glory." But Jesus said to them, "You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I drink, or be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?" They replied, "We are able." Then Jesus said to them, "The cup that I drink you will drink; and with the baptism with which I am baptized, you will be baptized; but to sit at my right hand or at my left is not mine to grant, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared."

What an unexpected answer … Jesus didn’t say yes and he didn’t say no. Jesus said, “This is not a request that is mine to grant”. After all the healings and miracles, who would have expected Jesus to say that! Certainly not James and John.


Mark 10:17 – 22
As he was setting out on a journey, a man ran up and knelt before him, and asked, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” – This seems like a question any one of us might ask God. What must I do to inherit eternal life? – “Jesus said to him, Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone. You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder; You shall not commit adultery; You shall not steal; You shall not bear false witness; You shall not defraud; Honor your father and mother.’” The man said to Jesus, “Teacher, I have kept all these since my youth.” – Well, he’s got to be feeling pretty good about himself now, right? Everything that Jesus mentions he’s been doing. I would expect the story to end with Jesus giving the man a blessing telling him how proud he is of him. But that’s not what happens. – “Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said, “You lack one thing: go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.” When the man heard this, he was shocked and went away grieving, for he had many possessions.”

How many times have we prayed and then thought, well, God hasn’t answered me, or That can’t possibly be an answer from God – God wouldn’t say that. But as you can see from these examples, God is not so predictable. To the rich young man he says, sell what you own, give the money to the poor and follow me. He was invited to join Jesus and he walked away grieving. What did the young man hear out of what Jesus said? I think all he heard was, sell all you have, and then he stopped listening.

Think for a moment – how many times have you prayed and then walked away grieving? What were the times you thought, well, that was a waste of my time? Or maybe you’ve prayed and thought you heard an answer and then decided, or maybe someone else convinced you, that God certainly couldn’t sound like that – like whatever you thought you heard. How do we know what God sounds like? There are so many voices in the world … which one is God?

I wish it worked that way … that I could just tell you what God’s voice sounds like. But I think the Bible gives some excellent examples, such as the ones we find in Job. At first God’s voice challenges Job to think differently. God says, “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding.” After all of Job’s rationalizing and pity parties, God reminds him that he doesn’t know everything. Not only doesn’t he know everything, but it is not for him to know everything. Too often we believe we should know things that really are not ours to know or understand.

Job’s example for us today is one of honest communication with God. Be honest with God and listen while God is honest with you. It takes practice. Sometimes we make mistakes. Truly God is beyond our comprehension, but God is also, especially in the person of Jesus, accessible. God does not lay down a myriad of rules for us to follow, but gives us challenges to change, to grow, and to let go of our preconceived notions. I think Philippians 4:7 can help us best to understand God’s voice. Philippians 4:4 -7 says,

Philippians 4:4 - 7
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The peace of God which passes all understanding… I interpret that as being “The peace of God that doesn’t make sense.” When I can let go enough to hear God I have a peace in the core of my being. It isn’t a logical kind of solution or often even the most practical solution. And sometimes I am anxious about putting into motion what I believe God has said to me. But there is something at the core of my being that says, “I’ve got to try this.”

The good news in Job is that even when he had an attitude problem God answered him. God didn’t turn God’s proverbial back to Job and say, “You ungrateful little man – go away, I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” No, God continued the conversation, and fortunately Job heard God in spite of his misconceived notions and arrogance.

Remember Philippians 4:6 & 7 – Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

May God bless you this week as you carry God’s word into the world.

It's a Personal Thing

In the late 1980's there was a Christian Rocker named Steve Taylor. I liked his music a lot. Today I don't subscribe to the same theology as I did in the late 80's, but after an energizing class discussion on torture and the new detainee bill this song came to mind. I thought I'd share it.

It's A Personal Thing
Steve Taylor - 1985

The press conference
It's a personal thing, and I find it odd
you would question my believing in a personal God
I'm devout, I'm sincere, ask my mother if you doubt it
I'm religious, but I'd rather not get radical about it
the old-time believers had timidity and grace
but this new generation doesn't know its place
you're entitled to believe, but the latest Gallup Poll
says you mustn't interfere--that's the government's role

chorus:
'Cause when you throw your hat in the bullring
before you know it's a personal thing
and when he comes to the day of reckoning
he's gonna tell 'em, "uh, uh, uh, it's a personal thing"

The nomination speech
It's a personal thing, and I boldly state
that my views on morality will have to wait
'til my personal life's out of the public eye
and the limitations statue can protect my alibi
I'm devout, I'm sincere, and I'm proud to say
that it's had exactly no effect on who I am today
I believe for the benefit for all mankind
in the total separation of church and mind

(chorus)

The victory night
It's a personal thing, and I plainly speak
(from the same code of ethics that I held last week)
as I promised if elected this election day
with the help of God almighty...I'll do it my way
(chorus)

Finding Me

I am posting to add this picture to my blog.



My goal is to embrace both my masculine and feminine aspects. As a bi-gender person I tend to privilege the masculine gender in myself over the feminine because I am expected to be feminine. I have to fight harder for my masculinity to be accepted. This is one attempt to reclaim the whole of who I am.

Queer People of Faith Be Free!

This is an Op-Ed I am considering submitting to our local LGBT mag (The Windy City Times). I originally wrote it during our Public Theology retreat weekend and have re-worked it based on suggestions from the class. I am open to more suggestions.

Queer People of Faith Be Free!

What do you believe about yourself? Do you believe that you have the freedom to worship any God you chose? We are privileged to live in a country where this freedom - the freedom of religion - is unquestioned. Or do we?

For far too long conservatives have told us that we are immoral and need to repent of our perversity. And for far to long we have been ashamed of ourselves and of each other. This shaming has incited us to hide our faith from the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community and to hide our sexual orientation and gender identity from our faith communities. We live in anonymity and isolation. I encourage us to say NO MORE!

Queer people of faith show yourselves! We are the community who can unite sexuality and spirituality. For far too long sexuality and spirituality have cited irreconcilable differences and parted ways. Today brave queer people of faith, of all faiths, are reclaiming the freedom to be open about who they are as whole people. As long as we allow others to define us we will remain fragmented, isolated and ashamed.

People of faith who are queer please stand up. I would like to meet you. I would like to fight for our freedom with you.

And So It Begins

I have decided to create a blog specifically to address current issues as a queer person of the Christian faith. I identify as a liberal, lesbian, bi-gender (biologically female), Christian and I live in the United States.

I was raised Roman Catholic and became Pentecostal in my teens. Currently I am attending Chicago Theological Seminary as a Master of Divinity student and am planning on becoming an ordained United Church of Christ pastor. My theology is constantly being re-constructed due to my belief that there is a Truth, but that this Truth is too vast and incomprehensible and fluid to be truly attained.

Welcome to my blog and welcome to my world.

AnnMarie Kneebone