Love Yourself

1. Deut 6:4 – 9 Love God
2. Leviticus 19: 9 – 19 Love Neighbor/Self
3. Matthew 22: 34 – 40 (to Pharisee) Love God/Neighbor/Self
4. Mark 12: 28 – 34 (to Scribe) Love God/Neighbor/Self
5. Luke 10: 25 – 28 (to Lawyer) Love God/Neighbor/Self
6. Romans 13: 8 – 10 Love Neighbor/Self
7. Galatians 5: 7 – 15 Love Neighbor/Self
8. James 2: 1 – 9 Love Neighbor/Self

Deuteronomy and Leviticus are just the beginning. I have 6 more scriptures that repeat the main theme of loving your neighbor as yourself. In all three of the canonical gospels it is the same story, but with different details. In Matthew, Jesus is talking to a Pharisee. In Mark, he is talking to a Scribe. In Luke, he is talking to a Lawyer. These three passages, Matthew, Mark, and Luke, each use what Jesus calls the great commandments – to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself. He chose these commandments out of all the laws.

The next three scripture passages only include the second commandment – to love your neighbor as yourself. These passages are Romans 13:8, Galatians 5: 7 – 15, and James 2: 1 – 9.
Most often when these passages are used it is to talk about loving God or loving neighbor. That is what is being taught by the original writers. Today I want to talk about Loving our Self. The assumption in these passages is that you love yourself. The love that is being referred to here means to have affection for and to care for.

It is taken for granted in these scriptures that we have affection for ourselves and that we care for ourselves. From that basis, we are to understand how to take care for our neighbor.
Taking this love of self for granted is a dangerous thing. We are taught to be critical of ourselves as well as of others. We are marketed to that we are not good looking enough, smart enough, adventurous enough, healthy enough, tall enough, rich enough, buff enough, thin enough, man enough, woman enough … and the list goes on. Magazines, billboards, TV commercials, movies, books all let us know that we aren't what or who we should be.

What does it mean to care for ourselves? Do we take time to communicate with our Divine Beloved? Do we take time to eat well? Do we hold ourselves when we are sad or hurt? Do we forgive ourselves when we make mistakes?

Loving yourself is different than having pride. I remember a conversation I had with a pastor of mine a long time ago. I was beating myself up for some mistake I made. I just couldn't let go of the fact that I did whatever horrendous thing I did. It probably wasn't that horrendous, but I was very critical of myself. If my walk didn't match my talk I repented in no uncertain terms. So I turned to my pastor to help me through this and she told me that I needed to repent. Now, I had already repented of my action. What she wanted me to do was to repent from not letting go. She told me that self hate was just as much a sin of pride and ego as arrogance because in both cases the subject was entirely about me.

Here's a lesson we can learn from David. It is in 2 Samuel, the 12th chapter. One of the stories of David really messing up is when he had sex with Uriah's wife, Bathsheba, and then he sent Uriah out to the front of the battle so that he would be killed. Bathsheba became pregnant from that encounter and gave birth. The story continues …

The Lord struck the child that Uriah's wife bore to David, and it became very ill. David therefore pleaded with God for the child; David fasted, and went in and lay all night on the ground. The elders of his house stood beside him, urging him to rise from the ground; but he would not, nor did he eat food with them. On the seventh day the child died. And the servants of David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead; for they said, "While the child was still alive, we spoke to him, and he did not listen to us; how then can we tell him the child is dead? He may do himself some harm." But when David saw that his servants were whispering together, he perceived that the child was dead; and David said to his servants, "Is the child dead?" They said, "He is dead." Then David rose from the ground, washed, anointed himself, and changed his clothes. He went into the house of the Lord, and worshiped; he then went to his own house; and when he asked, they set food before him and he ate. Then his servants said to him, "What is this thing that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while it was alive; but when the child died, you rose and ate food." He said, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, "Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me, and the child may live.' But now he is dead; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me."

David was taking action, pleading with God to spare his baby. In this story God does not do so. But when the baby dies, the servants expect David to be so grief-stricken that he hurts himself or maybe kills himself. They are confused as to why he would want to eat now that the baby is dead. But David learned early on that you have to let go. You have to repent, which he did, you make intercession, and then you let go. David here is loving himself. He knows it was his actions that brought about this terrible consequence, and he does what he knows how to do to try to fix the situation, but when it turns out for the worst he gets up, dusts himself off, and hopefully learns from his mistake. He cares for himself by eating and anointing himself. He worships and he takes off his stinky clothes and puts on clean clothes. All that may be easier said than done, but there's a lesson in it.

What are the obstacles that keep you from loving yourself? Do your ideals not match your actions? Have you been told that you aren't worth loving? Do you not forgive yourself for making mistakes?

The question we have been asking all Lent is "how has loved changed your world?" Loving yourself will change your world. I guarantee that. It will help you to be more confident with out that nasty arrogance that false love provides. It will help you care for your soul. It will help you see through the marketing of self-hate that we are bombarded with every minute of every day. It will help you not resort to self loathing, but rather to forgive yourself. It will also help you love your neighbor. Loving yourself is the foundation of loving others. Sure we can be kind to others and sacrifice ourselves for others, but without love we are told it is worth nothing. We are to share ourselves with others from a place of love, and that love begins with loving ourselves.

What are the obstacles that keep you from loving yourself? Can you name them or are they embedded and difficult to name?

How do these obstacles keep us from loving our neighbor?

How do these obstacles keep us from loving our Divine Beloved?

How does or how will loving yourself change your world?

How do you want to love yourself better?

Is it easier to love yourself when you are connected to your Divine Beloved?