Monday, February 21, 2011

Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones But Words Can Break My Spirit

Texts: Psalms 147:1-9, Proverbs 18:14-21, and Mark 5:21 - 42

Stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. These are the words heard on playgrounds usually in response to some insult thrown from one child to another. Parents teach children these words as a way to deflect hurtful insults and malicious language. As adults we know that being picked on is no fun so we offer this retort to our children in an attempt to give them a shield.

Sometimes what happens though is that this line of thinking goes to the extreme and is carried into adulthood. We assume that if we are hurt by something someone says that we are weak. We also may believe that if someone is hurt by something that we say that they are overly sensitive. The terms "thick-skinned" and "toughen up" come to mind. But how thick is it safe for our emotional and spiritual skin to be? How tough do we really want our soul?

Think about your hands and feet. How much feeling do you get when your heels or fingers are calloused? Not much. When I was a line cook in a restaurant it was a good thing that my hands and fingers toughened up so that I could tolerate hot plates, grills, and pan handles. It was also good that my feet became calloused so that I could stand all day long. The benefit ended there. Once at home I missed being able to feel the soft carpet on my feet and I had a difficult time picking up small things like a sewing needle because I could not feel it between my fingertips. Also the soft baby-skin of my niece was lost to my touch. This is not how I want my soul to become – tough and unable to feel the gentleness of God's leading. It is not how I want to be emotionally, calloused to another's feelings because I cannot get in touch with my own.

I'm not saying that I want us to crumble at constructive criticism, at challenges to the way we think, or even to the slightest insults. What I am saying is that sometimes people are mean and they throw words around as if they are stones and sticks. Sometimes people want to harm others with their words and then when the other person is harmed they scorn the injury and continue their abuse by declaring the injured person as being weak.

Other times a well-meaning friend, colleague, or acquaintance will try to help the injured person by using the adult version of the playground saying about sticks and stone. They say, "A person can only hurt you if you let them." I don't know about you, but I don't find these words comforting or empowering. These words indicate that if you are hurt then it is your fault – you are to blame. This takes the responsibility off of the person who said the hurtful things and puts the blame squarely on the victim.

My guess is that we have all been on all sides of this situation. We have been the person who said something that was hurtful and then blamed the person we hurt for not taking what we said "with a grain of salt." We have been the well-meaning person who counseled the injured person that they shouldn't take things so personally and that others can only hurt them if they let them. And we have been the person who was hurt and told to toughen up.

Lately I have been in groups of people where there has been heartfelt sharing. Invariably one person tells another "A person can only hurt you if you let them." I see the injured person sustain a further injury of shame that they would let this happen to them. They retreat inside of themselves and either put on bravado or they stop sharing. This makes me angry because, even if I don't understand what hurt the person, they felt safe enough to be vulnerable. How often do we get to feel safe enough to vulnerably share our feelings? Sometimes I get a chance to respond to the situation and say that no, actually others can hurt our emotions and spirits with their words and actions without our consent just like they can hurt our bodies without our consent.

This is true for us as well. In our Proverbs scripture we heard that "The human spirit will endure sickness; but a broken spirit—who can bear?" and "From the fruit of the mouth one's stomach is satisfied; the yield of the lips brings satisfaction. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits."

Words are important. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. When you are hurt because of someone's words, it is a valid pain. Yes, stick and stones can break your bones. While it's no fun to heal from a physical injury or from sickness, the proverb tells us that the human spirit can endure this type of pain. But ... a broken spirit? Who can bear that? I will tell you who can bear it. God's Holy Spirit can bear it. When we deny the power of words and shove down the pain we feel because of them, then we do not present ourselves for healing. This pain that resides within us can break our spirit.

Friends, let us not go through that. Let us instead acknowledge our pains and present them to our God for healing. I know this is not as simple as it sounds, but I also know that not doing this, in the long run, is far more difficult and has far dire consequences.

When we are sick or injured in our bodies, if we are at all able, we go to the doctor for help or to the store to get some medicine. Likewise when our souls are injured we need to present ourselves for healing. Our psalm today says that God "heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." The wounds of the brokenhearted are attended to by God's self. It isn't an instant healing, to be sure. It depends on the magnitude of injury, just as it depends in our body. It takes longer to heal a broken back than it does a scratch to our skin. It also takes longer to heal something that we have been ignoring than it does something that we take care of right away. The point here isn’t simply to cry about being hurt. The point is to cry out for healing.

In the Gospel of Mark, chapter 5, we are told a couple of familiar stories of people crying out to Jesus for healing. In this collection of stories, one sandwiched between another, we see the father of the dying 12 year old girl cry out with his voice to Jesus and the woman with the hemorrhage cry out to Jesus with her actions. In both of these stories those crying out became vulnerable. The father was vulnerable because he was the leader of the synagogue and most of those folks were eyeing Jesus with suspicion. His need to have his daughter healed outweighed any suspicion he had and he reached out. The woman who touched Jesus’ garment took a huge risk. Because of her condition she was considered unclean and was not allowed to come into physical contact with anyone for fear of defiling them with her uncleanness. She fought through the crowds, touching many as she went, and finally reached Jesus and grabbed his clothes. Jesus felt power leave him and he wanted to know who had been healed.

We need to risk being vulnerable, bring our souls to Jesus and cry out for help. In the Gospel of John, Jesus says, "Let anyone who is thirsty come to me, and let the one who believes in me drink. As the scripture has said, 'Out of the believer's heart shall flow rivers of living water.'"

Let us take of the Living Water of Christ that is offered to us. Let us drink deeply, refreshing our souls and healing our spirits. Remember the words of the psalmist, "God heals the brokenhearted, and binds our wounds."

Monday, February 07, 2011

"Deepening the Welcome" Saturday, February 19 in Chicagoland

I was sent this email via the CCWC elist. If I was in Chicago I would certainly consider going!

http://www.mcselca.org/what/ministry/justice/welcome.php

"Deepening the Welcome"
workshop to be held in Chicago, Saturday, February 19

The Chicago Chapter of Lutherans Concerned and the Metropolitan Chicago Synod Justice Team are offering a day of workshops called:

“Deepening the Welcome: Living out Jesus’ Welcome for GLBTQ People in Our Congregations.”

The event will explore the theme: All are welcome: What does this mean in your congregation? What does it mean to be explicitly welcoming to GLBTQ members already in congregations and those looking for a place to worship?

People at every stage of the conversation about GLBTQ inclusion, including those who have never addressed such topics in their congregations, are invited.

The folks in Chicago have put together a whiz-bang line-up of speakers and workshop leaders. (See the workshop descriptions below.)

Please go here for more info and to register. Cost is $10 per person (includes a lovely lunch) or $30 for a group of 4 or more from the same congregation/organization that register together. Pre-registration helps the planners be sure there is lunch for everyone! If cost is an issue or you have other questions, contact the Rev. Carla Thompson Powell.

Also, please see the Facebook page.

Workshop Descriptions

Rev. Dr. Richard Perry. KEYNOTE: Dimensions of a Whosoever Church John 3:16-17. Opening keynote address by Dr. Perry, LSTC Professor of Church and Society and Urban Ministry. When Jesus says, “whosoever believes in me”, what does he really mean?

Bishop Wayne Miller: Coming out in Mission as a Welcoming Congregation. The bishop of the Metro Chicago Synod hosts a conversation about how a congregation can step out in mission as a welcoming church and what missional opportunities might be now open to us.

Emily Eastwood: Beginning the Conversation in Congregations. The Executive Director of Lutherans Concerned/North America leads an engaging workshop on how to begin, renew and sustain the conversation about welcome and full participation. Bring your questions.

Dr. Klaus Peter Adam: A Biblical Basis for Welcome: Neither Man nor Woman in Christ. Information, motivation, and application from Galatians 3:28. Dr. Adam engages the biblical text, and gives some practical strategies.

Pocha Carter, Group Health Educator (HIV Prevention Program) at PCC Community Wellness Center in Oak Park : Supporting our Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Youth. In this anti-bullying workshop, you will get tools to be an ally to these young people and provide support, curb harassment in your environment, and how we can best support their needs.

Pastor Keith Fry and others: Welcoming All Leaders. This panel discussion with Pastor Keith Fry (Christ the Lord, Elgin ) and others shares discoveries, hopes and hesitations in calling a partnered pastor or welcoming a seminarian to a field education site.

Caroline Staerk, field director at Equality Illinois: Marriage Equality. Come explore how pro-LGBTQ communities of faith and LGBTQ political advocates at Equality Illinois have been laying the groundwork for social and policy change (including passage of the civil union bill).

Pastor Melody Beckman Eastman: Reducing Conflict and Guiding Discernment: A Suburban Congregation's Journey to the Blessing of Unions. Pastor Eastman talks about the process and influences that brought St. Paul , Wheaton to hold same-gender blessing ceremonies in their church.

Noel Spain & Stephanie Dykes: Beyond Gay & Lesbian - Welcoming Bisexual and Transgender as Equal Identities within the GLBT Community. This workshop will focus on getting to know the Bisexual and Transgender community. This workshop will introduce you to members of the B&T communities, help inform you about what specific issues they face, and finally show you how to create a more welcoming space both in the church and society.

Pastor Carla Thompson Powell: Talking With Our Kids About Homosexuality. This very practical workshop will help parents and youth leaders learn and share how they address LGBTQ concerns with their youth.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Tell Ohio Gov. John Kasich: Pardon Kelley Williams-Bolar


During his campaign, Ohio Governor John Kasich pledged to bring jobs into the state and help heal Ohio's distressed economy.

How will he handle the situation of Kelley Williams-Bolar, an Akron woman who wanted the best for her children but is now in jail and may be prevented from having a job? More than 11,000 Change.org members hope he'll do the right thing.

Thousands of people across the country have asked Gov. Kasich to pardon Kelley Williams-Bolar, an Akron, Ohio woman sentenced for sending her daughters to school in a district where they did not have residency.

Williams-Bolar was jailed, given 80 hours of community service and slammed with three years of probation after she was convicted of falsifying residency records so that her two daughters could go to school in nearby Copley, Ohio, where her father lived. Williams-Bolar, an African-American single mother, lived in public housing in Akron.

Williams-Bolar maintains that she was worried about her children's safety and never meant to deceive school officials. Even if she did do something illegal, forcing jail time on a mom trying to give her children a better life is a senseless punishment. Even worse, her felony conviction could cripple her career as an educator. Currently just classes away from a teaching degree, she works as a special education assistant. As a convicted felon, she'd be barred from teaching in Ohio.

This wrongheaded decision has led to fiery debate about education, race and upward mobility in America today. For many, it's also become a call to action. Spreading the word on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and the blogosphere, more than 11,000 have signed a Change.org petition created by member Caitlin Lord (read Lord's insights here) in support of Williams-Bolar. That petition, which was updated and focused today, asks Ohio's new governor, John Kasich, to pardon Williams-Bolar for this victimless crime.

Sign the petition and tell Gov. Kasich to pardon Kelley Williams-Bolar. After you sign, tweet the link to your friends using http://bit.ly/williamsbolar and #savekellywilliamsbolar (sic).

Photo credit: Miss Jia

Monday, January 17, 2011

A Letter to Rev King

Dr Rev King,

Today in the United States we are celebrating you. It is a national holiday. I am grateful that as a country we recognize the contributions you made toward equality for African Americans. I also appreciate that you are quoted widely as having said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” For many of us, you are our champion, our teacher, and our inspiration.

Don’t get me wrong, you are still hated by many. People of colour are deemed less than white people by too many white people. Well, even if it was only by one white person that would be too many. I wish I could report to you that bigotry, prejudice, and hate was a thing of the past. I can’t. There is still hate and oppression and violence. Systemic oppression – invisible to or ignored by most of the perpetrators – wields a heavy hand in every city, office, church, and family no matter how intentional we are to create a free and equal environment. I’m sure there are lots of folks who will get angry that I wrote that to you, but from my experience it is true.

Yesterday I went to the movies. I don’t go very often and I don’t keep up with what is playing at the cinema. One of the previews was for an upcoming show call “Cowboys and Aliens.” It disturbed me. The preview wasn’t very long, but the show seems to be about Cowboys being the normal people and Aliens being the non-normal people. The Aliens are a threat to the Cowboys. The storyline says, “these monsters challenge everything the residents have ever known.” Why is it, Rev King, that those in power relegate some people to the category of monster when what they know is being challenged? Why is it that movies are so often made to depict those who challenge the status quo as being vicious, manipulative, and scary? Is power that fragile?

There is still so much work to be done. Your leadership was crucial and I thank you for being so courageous. I have to admit that I’m not sure I have the same courage or tenacity that you possessed. There are times when I wonder if I can continue to go forward in my work. As a Christian typically I look to Jesus for my inspiration, but I want you to know that often I look to you as well. Just like Jesus, you did not cower when you were told to sit down and be quiet. Just like Jesus, you did not retreat when the opposing side advanced. Just like Jesus, you did not hide when you were threatened. As I live and work and love, I look to you as an example of how to follow Jesus, the one that I call Christ.

Thank you … for everything.

Sunday, January 09, 2011

Baptized For A Purpose

Texts:Isaiah 42:1 – 9 & Matthew 3:11 – 4:1

This is the First Sunday after Epiphany, which was celebrated January 6th. According to the church calendar, today we celebrate the baptism of Christ. In western Christianity, Epiphany is predominately the celebration of the visitation of the Magi while in eastern Christianity the focus of Epiphany is on the baptism of Jesus in the river Jordan.

The visitation of the Magi to Jesus and the baptism of Jesus are events that speak to the divine nature of Jesus as Christ. The birth of Christ – the incarnation – we celebrate at Christmas. The miracle of the divinity of the physical Jesus we celebrate at Epiphany.

The Magi, following astronomical signs and bearing gifts, declared Jesus to be the infant king. According to the Gospel of Matthew "they were overwhelmed with joy," “knelt down and paid him homage,” and “offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.”

The baptism of Jesus declares him to be the Christ in different ways. First, John the Baptist in a private conversation with Jesus says, “I need to be baptized by you.” Then, after John consents to baptize Jesus, the heavens were opened, the Spirit of God descended like a dove, and a voice from heaven declared, “This is my Son, the Beloved.”

Jesus – infant king, adult messiah. Jesus – hope for a nation whose people are held captive by tyranny. Jesus – bringer of wholeness and health. Jesus – the messiah foretold according to the apostles of the new covenant. Jesus – outspoken, dedicated, and a little bit crazy. He did, after all, push those in power until they killed him.

Friends, we need Jesus today as much as they needed him a couple of thousand years ago. We need a Messiah today. Our world is in tatters. The more I read history and the more I read current events, the more everything sounds the same to me. That's not to say that good things haven't been accomplished or that bad things haven't been addressed and overcome, but it seems that evil has so many venues and so much energy. And all too often evil, in its psychosis, actually believes it is good. And too often good is apologetic or weakened by evil’s manipulative rhetoric.

We need a Messiah who will not break a bruised reed. We need a Messiah who will faithfully bring forth justice. We need a Messiah who will not grow faint or be crushed. It breaks my heart that Jesus, the Messiah that we celebrate as Christians, is co-opted by the very systems and people that lead this nation deeper into violence against the helpless, the redistribution of wealth to the wealthy, and the removal of basic human rights to the other.

It also breaks my heart that yesterday, Saturday, January 8, 2011, Arizona Rep. Gabrielle Giffords was shot in the head at one of her 'Congress on Your Corner' events. At the time of this writing, she is in critical condition. So far, six have died in this shooting spree and at least a dozen were injured.

In our Isaiah reading the prophet declares that there is a servant who is chosen and who will faithfully bring forth justice. Then the prophetic word turns toward those who were gathered saying, “I have called you in righteousness. I have given you as a covenant to the people, a light to the nations.”

In trying to make sense of the tragedies going on in our world, and in particular thinking about this shooting in Arizona, I cry out to God and say, “Where is our Messiah?” The answer I get is, “Look in the mirror.”

The mantle has been passed. The Holy Spirit has been given. According to our faith tradition, long ago the power of God was passed down to us through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. It seems to me that we humans are easily corrupted by power, even or maybe especially holy power. Rev. Anne Howard, an Episcopal priest and colleague reminded me through Facebook that, “In the first and second centuries, history records, Christians were known for their love.” How quickly Christianity became Christendom and the power of love was exchanged for the power of control.

As we celebrate the divine nature of Jesus and consider the role that baptism played in revealing Jesus as Christ, I think we have to consider our own baptism and our own calling. We must continue the ministry of Jesus in this world, offering hope and love through our actions of faith. We grieve when madmen open fire on gathered communities, we call for justice and participate in actions toward making that justice vision a reality, and we look for ways to love and participate in healing and wholeness.

Our baptism, although a one-time event, is like a river flowing within us. The current of this river always flows toward Christ. Jesus – bringer of wholeness and health. Jesus – outspoken, dedicated, and a little bit crazy. This river is not always tame and safe. Sometimes it is wild with white water rapids and hairpin turns. But this is the river that flows toward the reign of heaven on earth.

As hard as it is to love – or to even think of love – at a time like this when anger and grief are appropriate emotions, love is what will make the difference. Where do we direct this love? What shape will this love take? Does it matter? So long as we dedicate ourselves to outspoken love – the kind of love that promotes healing and wholeness – it doesn't really matter. Love is needed everywhere, especially during times of crisis.

The world needs us to function in the ministry of the Messiah. There is no gift to small to make a difference. Every act of compassion, every time we speak out on behalf of someone who is silenced, and every tear and laugh that we share, especially during the white water rapids and hairpin turns, is an act of faith following the call of our baptism. Too long has the power of the Holy Spirit been co-opted for controlling others rather than for loving others. When we call forth from within us the power of our baptism and remember it is to Jesus that we have been set apart, then we can stand up to violence and its consequences. We can name the hate and manipulation without getting caught up in it ourselves. Once again we Christians can be known for our love.

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Sing Aloud And Live The Power

Texts: Jeremiah 31:7-14, Ephesians 1:3-14, John 1:1-18

We are in the beginning. January – the beginning of a new year. 2011 – the beginning of a new decade. It is not an absolute beginning. This is a re-beginning or a beginning again. The beginning that the writer of the Gospel of John is talking about is an absolute beginning. It precedes the Genesis account of creation by telling us that The Word was in the beginning with God and that not one thing came into being without The Word. Toward the end of the passage we understand The Word to be the person of Jesus Christ, but as we think about this baby whose birth we just celebrated and imagine him being The Word that spoke creation into existence, time flip-flops on itself and we come face to face with the enormity of Mystery and Eternity.

In the recorded words of John the Baptist in our gospel passage we hear the struggle of grasping with what feels to me like the cyclical nature of eternity. The Baptist says, "This was he of whom I said, 'He who comes after me ranks ahead of me because he was before me.” The Word, who is creator and so precedes, is also the successor of John the Baptist, but by The Baptist’s admission, in his succession The Word as Jesus is also preeminent. Eternity is not about time never ending; it is about being outside of time entirely. The Word, as Jesus, slips into time after creating time and experiences time as well as being human. Verse 14 states this as, “The Word became flesh and dwelt amoung us.” In addition, we are offered the experience of eternity if we receive the glorious mystery of Jesus being in the world and also being The Word who brought the world into being. Verse 12 says, “But to all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God, who were born, not of blood or of the will of the flesh or of the will of man, but of God.”

Jesus, who is The Word, gives us power to become children of God. How cool is that? This is a re-beginning, a birth not of blood or by our own will, but a birthing from which we enter into the cycle of Mystery and Eternity. We also read in Ephesians that God “chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world.” While The Word was with God and being God, before all things came into being through The Word, we were already being enveloped into the cycle of Mystery and Eternity by the intent of The Beloved. Doesn’t that blow your mind?

We understand time – January 1st through December 31st; 2010 transitions to 2011. We age year by year; watch our bodies change shape; marvel at the growth of the children around us; and observe nature transition from season to season. We experience linear time. Some days feel longer than others. As we age each year seems to go faster. Still, things seem to progress from one year to another. We come to count on it even when we don’t like it. But these ancient words that shape our understanding of God and ourselves tell us that there is so much more to Life in the larger sense. This linear existence is created just like we are. God lives outside of time and invites us to participate in that existence … and not just invites us, but created us with that in mind.

We often think about our eternal destiny in terms of our death, but I believe that we are given power to become children of God for today as well. The scripture does not say that we would someday have the power to become children of God, but that we have been given this power. In Ephesians it says we are blessed in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places. We are called to participate in the cycle of Mystery and Eternity today.

But what does that mean? What is this power we are said to have received? What is the mystery? How can we live out of time, in eternity, even as we live in this world guided by linear time? I would love to be able to tell you that I have the answers to these questions, that I have studied the scriptures and can now point you to The Right Answer. Some claim to have definitive answers to questions like these … but I am not one of them. The very nature of Mystery resists the notion that there is one right simple answer. Our concept of Eternity is limited by our immediate immersion in linear time.

Because I do believe that there are answers to these questions I’ve decided to approach this the way we typically approach solving mysteries … by looking for clues. Here is what I’ve found in today’s readings.

When Jesus walked the earth, his glory is said to be “full of grace and truth.” Through Moses came the law, but through Jesus came grace and truth. Jesus lived at the crossroads of linear time and eternity. In doing so he made God known to us. We are destined to be children of God and we are bestowed with the glorious grace of God through the Beloved, who is Jesus. The riches of God’s grace have been lavished upon us. Through Christ, the mystery of God’s will to gather up all things in heaven and earth is made known to us. We are marked with the seal of the Holy Spirit to the praise of God’s glory, which is full of truth and grace. This is just a sampling from the Gospel of John and from Ephesians. There are more references to grace, glory, and praise.

It seems to me that when the Word who became flesh and lived amoung us, whose glory is grace and truth, who was in the beginning with God and who is God gives us power to become the children of God -- at least some of that power is to live in, be filled with and lavishly share grace and truth for the purpose of gathering up heaven and earth (which I understand to be eternity and finite time) to the praise and glory of God. In addition, since Jesus is sharing his power as God with us it makes sense to me that part of that power is the power to share, and what feels important to share at least in this context is the grace and truth that we have received so that heaven and earth might be gathered up more fully to the praise and glory of God.

Gathering together heaven and earth, or time and eternity, cannot be limited by the restrictions of time or earth. Using our power as children of God we must reach outside of time, into the Mystery, into the beginning … the absolute beginning, and begin again within the framework of our linear life. Beginning again and again as we gather together all things in Christ speaks to the cyclical nature of the intersection of heaven and earth, but it isn’t just a linear loop. Out of the clues I find that our linear loops weave in and out of time. The grace, truth, and glory of God that fills us reaches toward eternity while our minds, bodies, emotions tug us toward this linear existence. This power that we have been given enables us to walk like Jesus walked, as beautiful created beings in a brilliant construction we call time while we contain the glory and truth of The Word to the praise of the eternal God.

Here is where I hear the voice of the Beloved in the passage of Jeremiah that we read. “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” Everlasting love. Eternal love. A love that provides grace in the wilderness. A love that says, I will build you again. We will begin again. You will pick up your tambourines and dance for joy because of the way I share my love with you. Sing aloud! Shout for joy! Dance!

The words of the prophet Jeremiah say that God will gather together those who were scattered. Those who are lame and blind, and those who are pregnant and in labor will be gathered together. The strong and cunning aren’t mentioned. The generals and the wealthy aren’t mentioned. We assume those folks are included, so the prophet makes it clear that among those gathered will be the blind and the lame, as well as the women who are pregnant. In other words, those who are considered unclean, undesirable, or vulnerable are given power to be children of God not secondarily but right along with those who are powerful, wealthy, and healthy. All will be lead down a path by the brooks of water where they will not stumble. All shall come and sing aloud on the height of Zion and be radiant over the goodness of the Lord. Everyone will dance together, everyone will find comfort, everyone will be filled with joy.

The prophet Jeremiah says, “I will be the God of all the families of Israel, and they shall be my people.” The gospel of John says, “to all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God, who were born, not of blood or of the will of the flesh or of the will of man, but of God.”

I say, sing aloud people of God and live the power that you have received as children of God. Live in grace and truth. Lavishly share the grace and truth with which you have been gifted. Know that all: the healthy and the sick, the weak and the strong, the poor and the rich are loved by God and are gathered together in Christ. Sing aloud and live your power as children of God to begin again and again and again, remembering that you are empowered by The Word, from the absolute beginning to begin again in the now of time. Sing aloud, walking and dancing at the intersection of eternity and time, living in the cycle of mystery. Sing aloud to the praise and glory of the name of God.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas Eve 2010

May the strong grace, the gentle comfort, and the sure guidance of the Divine Beloved be with you.

As I begin this, it is still dark outside. The sun is just beginning to make her marks on the trees, snow, and balcony outside my sliding glass door. There are white Christmas lights bordering the door which is sealed with weatherproofing. I am grateful to be warm and drinking my masala chai, protected from the harshness of weather.

For the last couple of years I have returned to this place of intentional gratitude for being sheltered, fed, and clothed. I know that there are many more people in the world than I can imagine who have much much less than I have. Ah, you may think, but you don't have that much. No, I don't possess many things, but I do have ample food and shelter. There was a time when each night I searched for where I would sleep and each day I did not know if I would have food. Because I could not be what and who I thought I was supposed to be, I took to isolation. I hid so that I would not stick out, feel shame, and cause anyone who knew me and loved me to feel embarrassment.

As the sun exposes the misty grayness of the day, as the outline of the tree limbs become clearer, and as we move from Advent to Christmas I begin to think about the harsh conditions that Mary endured during her pregnancy and then on her pilgrimage to Joseph's hometown which ended in her giving birth. I wonder if she felt shame during her pregnancy and hid so that she did not embarrass her family or Joseph. I wonder if she had second thoughts about her calling while on the road to Bethlehem. I wonder if the long trek on a hard road with the stress of not finding lodging induced her labor. And I wonder if after she gave birth to a healthy baby boy if the blurry outlines of her understanding came into focus, if she was able to celebrate with the shepherds and the angels or if she fell asleep exhausted after feeding her newborn from her already tired body.

Mary's story is told over and over, mostly focusing on Jesus and the greatness and wonder of his birth. I love Jesus. His life, teaching, and actions guide me. But this year my thoughts wander to Mary, a woman in crisis. The story of Mary reminds me that there are many mothers whose pregnancies are criticized and who give birth in harsh conditions. This story also reminds me that there are many sons and daughters who work hard to live a life worthy of their mother's love and vision for them and in the end are bullied, accused of having wrongful motivations and of committing shameful crimes against people, the state, and God. These other stories are rarely known outside of their circle and even more rarely told.

Maybe my thoughts are wandering this way because my community of late is centered around women, some of whom are doulas, midwives, mothers, and/or educators. I hear many stories of births, raising children, hopes for children, disappointment, and strength. For most of my life, Mary being pregnant and giving birth was more theoretical and spiritual than physical. I imagined her not shouting out in pain much like we read that Jesus did not shout out in pain when he was on the cross. Today, on this eve of our celebration of the birth of our Messiah, my spirit is pulled toward Mary as a mother about to give birth and to her pain and hope.

The isolation of Mary and Joseph in a barn gives way to a crowded stable nursery, at least in most Crèche's, filled with angels, shepherds, wise men, sheep, cows, and the like. We see Mary, Joseph, and Jesus being surrounded by admirers and worshipers. Soon they will be isolated again, but for now, they have a makeshift community supporting them and giving their flagging vision some needed encouragement. They will go on, continuing their hard journey with the memory of those moments of wonder and support.

For me, now the sun is fully up. The day is still misty gray, but the trees, the snow, and the house across the way are fully in view. The hardships of my life which began because I was confused and in many different kinds of pain are lifted. I feel lucky to be on this side of my life. This Christmas Eve I feel the pull to be a witness of the mystery of hope in the midst of dire circumstances.

Many blessings to you, my reader. Consider the awe of the birthing of Jesus. I pray that you find the strength of Mary every day of your life.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

What Will You Ask?

Texts: Matthew 1:18-25 and Isaiah 7:10-16

Advent is a time of remembering the birth of Jesus as well as anticipating his return. We have been waiting for Jesus for a long time. If Jesus had returned when it was assumed he would, none of us would have been born. The early church was disappointed and eventually had to decide how to cope with the fact that they were still alive on earth, still dealing with poverty and illness, and still being subjected to political and religious abuses of power.

This delayed Parousia disappoints us as well. After all this time we still face poverty, illness, and abuses of power. It is difficult to know what to believe about the legend of Jesus’ birth as well as what it means that he will return. Will he return? When? What will it look like? How will it feel? Will we know it when it happens?

According to the gospel stories Jesus will return like a thief in the night and yet it will be as apparent as lightening flashing from the east to the west. We are to wait for it but not sit and wait ... we are to keep busy continuing the ministry of Jesus.

Yearly we remind ourselves about Christ’s humble beginnings and we celebrate his birth which foretold a shift in power. We talk about Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love. We start our new church year and begin again actively waiting for Christ’s return.

Each year Advent and the celebration of Christmas mean more to me than the year before. In spite of the fact that Jesus has yet to return and that we are still fighting the same old battles for equality, I am comforted remembering that Jesus was born under trying circumstances for the purpose of freeing all people and inspired at the hope that of the Parousia. When I hear the story of Mary and Joseph making their trek to Bethlehem; the angels making their declarations; the shepherds hearing and believing the tidings of great joy; and the Magi following a star to find a baby king, I think to myself, “Yes, I can continue.” It doesn’t seem rational or logical, but in my spirit/gut I am grateful to be a part of this story.

That doesn’t mean that I’m not disappointed or confused. In our Isaiah text we hear the prophet railing against Ahaz because he refuses to ask God for a sign. Ahaz claims that he does not want to put God to the test, however Isaiah believes this is a cover up. I have to say that in this vignette I identify with Ahaz. After years of asking God for help, believing God to change things, and waiting for God to return I’m not always sure I have the strength for more disappointment. It is hard to take the risk to ask for one more thing when so many other requests feel ignored or denied.

And yet, the story of Jesus’ birth rings in my soul. This is the sign that we cling to. Our souls can nestle into the certainty of a babe born to a young woman even while we wait for the Parousia – the second coming – the eventual and final shift of power toward true liberty and wholeness for all. Not wholeness for which we lobby, either to our God or to our political leaders; not liberty for those born in a certain country or of a certain economic status; but wholeness and liberty without question or compromise.

In the Isaiah scripture, the prophet speaks a word of God to Ahaz saying, “Don’t be afraid. Yes it looks like your enemy will devour you but quiet your heart. I won’t let this happen. Ask a sign of me so that you can be certain.” But Ahaz will not ask for a sign. Ahaz is too afraid and cannot quiet his heart enough to believe these words. Isaiah says that Ahaz wearies God.

Let us not weary God. As we consider the birth of Jesus to an unwed mother, the birth of a babe that will lead his people through healing and feeding rather than violence, let us ask God for a sign. Let us ask God to help us believe that we can make it through the next conflict, whatever it is.

What will you ask? Can you quiet your heart to believe the words of the prophet? And when the results we are looking for don’t come the way we had hoped or in the timing that seemed right, can we still believe, quiet our hearts, and ask for a sign? This faith thing takes risks. It also takes not knowing what is going to happen, how it may happen, or when it may happen. It takes quieting our hearts when it looks like we will be devoured.

Friends, I adjure you to look to the comfort and hope of Jesus born to Mary and Joseph, and to look to the strength of Mary and Joseph. We wait and sometimes we are disappointed with the results. We wait and sometimes the waiting is long. We wait though, for a promise that is at the intersection of this earthly existence and transcendence. We wait for a mystery. We wait together, actively, continuing the ministry of Jesus.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Advent Joy




This is the third Sunday of Advent. Today we celebrate Joy ... the joy of Christ's upcoming birth; the joy of our hearts being open (like the shepherd's hearts) to this miracle of God incarnate; and the joy of these long nights soon becoming shorter.

The advent wreath reminds us that there is still green and vibrant life even in this harsh season. We who live in winters of snow and cold need to have these visible reminders. When our evergreen tree friends are blanketed in snowy-whiteness, they are nevertheless vibrant and bearers of hope for us toward spring.

The circle of the wreath reminds us that the seasons are cyclical: the seasons of the world, the seasons of the church, and the seasons of our lives. As one moment dies another is born.

This week we look toward the joy of the birth of the next moment - the birth of Jesus who will be called Christ and Saviour. As we bundle up with coats, scarves, mittens and boots we can set our minds to the joy of spring. As Mary was in the last trimester of her pregnancy I imagine she sometimes set her mind on the joy of the birth of her child, praying for a healthy baby that she would love with all her heart.

In these times of economic, political, and holiday stress, on what can you set your joy? Can you recall a message that you heard, like the shepherds heard the message of the angel and the praise of the host of heaven? Can you set your sights on that message and breathe through the stresses you encounter?

The birth of Christ is, amoung other things, a call for us to hope beyond reason and to praise beyond measure. This hope and praise can lead us to a joy that lives within and in spite of our circumstances.

This week we are called to encounter the shepherd's heart in our own heart and to lift our voices to sing praises of joy with the heavenly host.

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Here I come, Holland, MI


I'm looking forward to this!

World AIDS Day

Today while in the chapel during the noontime World AIDS Day prayer gathering I spent a lot of time thinking about and praying about consciousness. I called forth from within me a consciousness about the pandemic of AIDS and I spiritually sought out others who are conscious. I also prayed that the many who are not conscious will become so. I shaped my consciousness like velcro - sticky and seeking its mate.

What does it mean to be conscious and how does this have anything to do with how I understand my Divine Beloved or Jesus?

Consciousness has to do with being awake. There are many teachings in the Bible that have to do with not falling asleep or remaining alert. As I consider these teachings it occurs to me that altogether too often it is easy to fall asleep or to slip into an unconscious or subconscious state. It takes work to stay awake ... alert ... conscious. It takes diligence and some amount of skill. I am not that best at this and fall asleep all too often.

Today as I sat as still as I can make myself (I am a wiggler) and as I focused on those loved ones who had AIDS and have died as well as those who have AIDS and are still fighting, it seemed clear to me that much of the work that I do has to do with waking people up and with connecting to those who are conscious. As I tell stories, my own and those of others, I am connecting to the consciousness of those listening and trying to wake up those who are still asleep.

Our collaborative energy, awareness, and voices will bring about change. We can't keep hitting the snooze button, we must all wake up, work together, and love each other.

AUDITIONS for Michiana Monologues 2011

Interested in performing in the 2011 Michiana Monologues - Band of Sisters? Mark your calendar with the upcoming audition dates!

* Thurs.Dec. 9th, 7pm at IUSB - 3001 Wiekamp Hall
* Friday, Dec. 10, 7 pm at IUSB, 3001 Wiekamp Hall
* Sat Dec 11th, 9:30am at 1st Congressional UCC in Elkhart, in the Marcus Darling Room, 431 South 3rd Street (corner of 3rd and Marion in downtown Elkhart)

For information about accessing Monologues to perform at the audition (and performance dates), see details on our website: www.michianamonologues.org

** Share the news; auditions are open to all women from campus and community **

AUDITIONS for Michiana Monologues 2011 – Band of Sisters

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Advent Hope

I have been sitting looking at this empty page on and off now for about 2 hours. I heard a wonderful sermon on Advent Hope this morning at 1st UCC Elkhart, I've read some wonderful Advent reflections over the past couple of days ... and yet I do not feel a flow of ideas that are forming themselves into words.

It isn't that I don't have hope. Hope is my fuel. Sometimes my tank runs low, but mostly I have enough to get where I need to go.

The ritual of Advent appeals to me, so there isn't a hurdle there. This year I am looking forward to adorning my small tree and setting up other Christmas decorations.

And still ... I can not find within me an inspiring reflection.

Here is what is rolling around in my head. It is a phrase from the Roman Catholic Mass. I was born and raised a Roman Catholic. Even though I am a Protestant now, my R.C. upbringing vibrates within me. Sometimes it vibrates in harmony, sometimes (tho rarely) it is the melody, sometimes it is discordant. What I have been hearing these last few days is a part of the Lord's Prayer. In the R.C. mass where I went to church the Lord's prayer was sung. Toward the end, just before "For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours, now and forever." there was a pause in the song when the priest says or sings this,

"Deliver us, Lord from every evil, and grant us peace in our day. In your mercy keep us free from sin and protect us from all anxiety as we wait in joyful hope for the coming of our Saviour, Jesus Christ."

In the church where I grew up, after the priest sung this in his monotone style the organ music would swell and we would have a grand finish"

"For thine is the kingdom,
and the power,
and the glory
forever!"

Our organist was amazing. Amazing, I tell you!! And her voice was as big as the 40 acres of our farm. As we sang the "Our Father" we started out confidently though quietly. The song would build and then pause for the priest to pray for us - praying that we would be protected so that our joyful hope would not be blocked by evil and anxiety. Then ... the big finish ... glorious and exhilarating. Each and every week this happened for at least 3 years of my teenage life.

This is what stays with me, this glorious finish preceded by the calm yet fervent prayer that our joyful hope be not extinguished by evil or anxiety.

Oh God ... hear our prayer.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

In memory of Tiasha

Today is Transgender Day of Remembrance. I have a memory that I'd like to share with you.

Nineteen years ago I met a beautiful woman who was funny, kind, and hard-working. I'll call her Tiasha. She worked for an organization at which I periodically volunteered. I also had a friend who worked for this organization. I'll call him Kevin.

Kevin identified as a straight white man. Tiasha identified as a straight black woman. I identified as an ex-gay white woman.

I didn't know Tiasha very well, but when I would call to talk to Kevin she was always quick to recognize me and to tease me lovingly saying that I had a sultry voice. I couldn't hear what she heard, but I loved that she was so easy-going and playful. Kevin seemed to enjoy working with her and spoke of her with some frequency. In our conversations I learned that she was periodically ill, more than seemed average.

I volunteered for this organization for about three years. It was in that third that Kevin called me in shock. Tiasha had died suddenly. Furthermore, he said, Tiasha wasn't Tiasha but actually was Norman. Kevin then said, "Norman died of AIDS."

I questioned why he was suddenly calling Tiasha he and Norman. Kevin said that Tiasha was a lie and that Norman was the truth. He wouldn't call Norman she or Tiasha. My heart sunk. I had no words to help me express what I was thinking, feeling, or reacting to. I had noone to help me think through this complicated scenario. Kevin seemed to think it was very simple. I knew that it wasn't.

Tiasha was Tiasha. I honestly believed, and still believe, that in most ways, I didn't know Norman. I had never met him. I had met and worked alongside Tiasha. She was great. I didn't feel betrayed, although I did feel sad.

First, I felt sad because this vibrant wonderful woman was suddenly dead.

Second, her family took her body and had a private funeral for "him." I asked about a memorial service for her and was told there wouldn't be one.

Third, she had AIDS. All those times she was sick and we didn't know why. For the more ignorant and paranoid, they thought she might have given them AIDS just by her presence with them. They were angry that she hadn't told them because they thought they had the right to protect themselves. Even then I knew that was ridiculous.

Fourth, she was being referred to now as he. How could they do that? Tiasha was clearly a woman. Even though the shape of her body was a surprise to us, what did it matter? It didn't change who she had been to us. The words that I heard them say about her prompted me to not volunteer there anymore.

At the time I was aware that some people had sex changes. As a young adult I had some interest in having a sex change, but for many reasons I didn't follow through. When I met Tiasha I was in the throws of full denial of my true self. I spent most of my energy trying to be a heterosexual woman, when in fact the best I could do was identify as ex-gay. I loved the joy and freedom that I found in Tiasha. I didn't know what to make of her having a male body, and I didn't have any names like transgender, mtf, or gender variant but I knew she was a woman to me no matter what anyone else said.

I wish I could say that I began my own exploration of my gender identity as a result of this, but that was yet to be a long time coming. When I did begin to chip away at my own self denial and wrestle with my own complicated gender identity, remembering Tiasha's story served both as a comfort and as a caution to me. The comfort was that I could know joy and freedom in who I am no matter who I am. The caution was that there are many many people who wouldn't understand and who wouldn't even try to understand.

For me, Tiasha is a stellar loving example of living life to the fullest and being as authentic as possible. Those who called her a life a lie break my heart.

Today I honor Tiasha for being who she was in every way. She is now one of the beautiful ancestors.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Fabulous Super Hero

Texts: Ephesians 6:10 – 18

and

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
from A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson.

************************

We are between two holidays – Past is the mixed bag of Halloween, All Saints Day, and Day of the Dead. Ahead is Thanksgiving. The transition between these two holidays has been powerful for me this year. I keep connecting my thoughts of those who have made an impact on my life and have died, as I prepare myself internally for the upcoming harvest celebration. Maybe a part of this is because my mother died on Thanksgiving day. However, I think that more than that I am being influenced by what I am reading and the stories that people are telling me about their lives.

Thanksgiving, if we think of it as a harvest celebration from ancient times rather than an American holiday of dubious distinction, is a celebration of hope to get through the winter and gratitude to the earth and/or a deity for providing the sustenance.

All Saints Day is a time of honoring those who have died. It is a time of grieving but also of celebrating. We celebrate the impact that these people have had on our lives, how we have been nurtured by them and continue to be nurtured through their memories. In a way, this is another kind of harvest celebration. It is the harvest of a person's life feeding us and nurturing us.

For example, recently I found out that my friend Iyvie died this spring. She was not someone I knew for many years. We weren't close in the way that you hang out with someone. And I found out she died through a Google search. When examining these kinds of facts, one might say that she and I were not close. And yet, for the time that we were in each other's lives, which was brief and fairly isolated, we had an influence on each other. The influence that I had on her is hers to tell, but the influence she had on me, I can tell you, is profound. She helped me become strong and certain that I had gifts to share. She mentored my gifts of healing and she exuded an undeniable love that wasn't labeled Christian that I had to deal with. It was spirit love ... and at first I was suspect of her ways. Slowly though I came to put together the lesson from Matthew 7:15 – 20

"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorns, or figs from thistles? In the same way, every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will know them by their fruits. “

... with Galatians 5:22 and 23 "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."

I looked closely at Iyvie's loving healing energies and incredibly accurate insight. I saw love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. She was a good tree producing good fruit. I had no reason not to eat the harvest of her love and healing. She walked in her power and she helped me learn to walk in mine. She also helped me deconstruct my narrow mindedness and judgmental attitude, although I'm not sure she knows she did that.

She produced a harvest that I am still enjoying. I can tell you stories of many others such as Anthony Hollins, Tom Douthett, my brother Rick, my mom Angie, and Glenn Walker. You can tell me of those in your life that have died but still nurture you today. I love these stories. Yes it is a sharing of grief but it is also a celebration relationship. These people have helped to make us who we are.

We have so much to be thankful for. Real things, and especially the loving people who have been in our lives. These people with whom we have shared our lives, however long and however deep, have changed us. There are lots of people who have influenced our lives in unhelpful, hurtful, and unloving ways. Too often these are the folks to whom we give our power and whose harvest we eat. I've had enough of that. I feel like I owe a debt to the good people in my life ... those whose trusted me, who put stock in me, and who cared for me. I want to live my life as a testimony to their love and to the abundance of their harvest that they offer me.

This is how I found myself mulling the text in Ephesians as well as the quote from Marianne Williamson. This power that we have been given as a gift from our Divine Beloved as well as the power that we have been bequeathed from those who have loved and nurtured us is challenging to tap into. We are told over and over that power equals things like money and authority over others. These voices crowd the voices of the Holy Spirit, the teachings of Jesus, and the love of the saints. I believe we have to learn to walk in our power and we have to be diligent about protecting ourselves from the forces that would scoff at us or try to redirect our attention to the things that we can't do rather than to the awesomeness of who we are.

We are awesome. We have powers that are more permanent and effective than money and authority. When we own this, we frighten those who want to make us believe that the fruits of the spirit are wimpy. The image of the armor of God reminds us that we are powerful and that we have something to protect. We have a harvest to share that is delicious, robust, and life-giving. I agree with Marianne Williamson that "As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." It is little by little. We may not see any miracles happening ... no demons being delivered ... but little by little is how revolutions begin.

I believe we need to live into our fabulousness, our brilliance, our gorgeousness, and our talent. We need to do this because according to Psalm 139 we are "fearfully and wonderfully made." We are made by God. How much more fantastic can we be?? If we do not live in our power and awesomeness, then we are discrediting God because we are God's good creation.

How can this not be true? Would we be instructed to put on spiritual armor if there wasn't something to protect spiritually? Our hearts are to be protected by a breastplate of righteousness. Our minds are protected by the helmet of salvation. Our feet are protected as we journey by the gospel of peace, which we are charged to proclaim. We are given a shield of faith with which we are to protect ourselves from the fiery arrows of the enemy – arrows that want to penetrate our confidence with doubt, that want to mock our gifts, that seek to discredit our power. The only thing in this armor that seems missing to me are the tights, otherwise this is perfect spiritual superhero attire.

Every life that we touch can be a life that we help to heal and sustain. Every struggle that we come up against is an opportunity to sink a little deeper into the reality of who we are in our souls. We all have battles. We all become frustrated, angry, and hurt. And we all are created wonderfully by a God who loves us. Furthermore, we all have a harvest from which we can nourish ourselves and a spiritual armor that is crucial to our good work and spiritual health.

I know that I expect a lot of myself and I often don't meet my own expectations. I have to protect myself from my own criticism. I think we all do.

This year the harvest I am giving thanks for is the legacy of love and the nourishing gifts of belief and hope that we have been offered by those who love us – those who are living as well as those who have passed on. I know longer want us to be small and quiet. Let's honor the gifts we've been given by God and by those put in our paths who love us by finding our strengths, sharing our gifts, believing in ourselves, and protecting ourselves. We are brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous. I urge you to not shrink back. The world needs us.

Sunday, October 03, 2010

LGBT Suicides

I am still absorbing the truth of the latest teen and young adult suicides. I know that they happen every day and that we seldom hear about them. I know that most of these young people are invisible to society, except for the bullying. Actually, the bullying itself is evidence of their being invisible ... invisible as valuable human beings.

This is a link to an interesting article. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/04/us/04suicide.html I've been reading lots of articles lately about these suicides. They leave me wondering about the multitudes we don't hear about. They also leave me wondering about the families of these young people.

I have another wonder ... where are the lesbians who are being bullied and commit suicide? I know they are out there too.

If you are a young person and you are being bullied, there are resources for you. I will help you find them. Write to me here.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Miles Donation Request

Send a minister to a conference???

The newly formed UCC GenderFold Action Alliance, of which I am the Steward of Spiritual Health, would like to send me to the 4th Annual Transgender Religious Leaders Summit. Here's the hitch ... we don't have much money.

Is there anyone here that would like to donate miles for me to go?

Monday, September 20, 2010

Where's The Antidote?

I need to state for the record that religion can be toxic. All religions. All flavours. Everywhere. From the beginning of time. Toxic. Poisonous. Deadly.

Because I am a Christian minister, I will focus on Christianity in this post. That said, all religions - those whose god is ethereal and divine as well as those whose god is material and profane. Take that where you will.

Some of you may be thinking ... Oh pastor, did you just realize this? What happened to you today? Has the shine dulled on your optimism?

To this I answer ... I have known this for a long time. Nothing happened to me today. My optimism may or may not be dulled, but my hope stands firm. More on that later - probably. I don't really have a plan for this post - where I am going with it, how it will end, if there's a take-home.

For me, today was a decent day. Yesterday the church where I preached received me well. I heard via email that another church is looking forward to my upcoming visit. Later this week I have a conference call with the other Stewards of the newly formed UCC GenderFold Action Alliance. The church that I pastor had a wonderful time of fellowship and worship a couple sundays ago when we last met. While I have experienced the toxicity of religion in the past, right now I am drinking from a font of grace and love.

If only my life reflected the lives of all people everywhere. It doesn't, though. I know it doesn't because I am hearing the stories. These stories include:

Being excluded from ministry based on some immoral code of morality.
Being excluded from ministry because of minority status.
Being powered out of ministry because of not towing the party line.
Being afraid that those with authority to pull rank will do so based on their interpretation of what is holy and what isn't.

The list could go on, but you get the idea. And this list doesn't include the Koran burning Christians; the Thunder God Christians (Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out); those who claim the name and moral code of a god that will gain them political clout; etc.

Isn't religion supposed to be about love? I remember a couple years ago some guy commenting on a post of mine that Jesus' message wasn't all about love, soft and mushy, but that it was about punishment and condemnation. This guy was right in a way. Jesus spoke of condemnation and judgment, but it was of those who wouldn't extend help to the poor and sick; to those who were against healing a person's physical body or delivering them from demons on the sabbath; to those who used religious power to gain political or financial power.

Power. I think that's what this is all about. Power. This may seem obvious, but obvious things need to be stated sometimes. Stated and opposed.

It's not that I think my blogging this is going to change the world, change religious structures, or change the problems that my friends(and others) are having. I wish it would, but, well, I don't have that kind of power. I do, however, have the power to hear these hard stories and to help tell these hard stories so that others will hear them. Not enough people know or believe that these kinds of things really happen in the world, let alone in the church.

They happen.
People are excluded.
Good people.
Holy people.
Gifted ministers.
Called by the Divine Beloved.

And I am angry about it - sick of it. I am so angry that expletives are almost making their way into this post. I do swear in person, but I don't in my online writing. If I thought it would help, I would give in and use words of a blue nature. I don't think it will help. I don't think they are particularly persuasive words. But ... I am that angry.

Last Friday I went to a holy gathering. It wasn't church. It wasn't Christian. But it was spiritual and holy. In the course of our conversation we talked about Poison Ivy. Someone said that usually Jewelweed, an antidote for Poison Ivy, is only a few feet away. We talked about how often this is true in general, that an antidote is close but that we don't know what it is, what it looks like, or where to find it.

As I've said, I am a Christian minister. I love God, I think worshiping in community can be a beautiful and life-giving experience, and I have spent my whole life being devoted to seeking that which is and who is divine. During the course of my life I have stepped into the poisonous patches of religion and watched others struggle with being infected as well. It has been tempting to leave ... to quit ... to turn my back on it all, on the whole forest because it seems like the poison is taking over. In some patches of the forest it is taking over. That's the sad truth. Parts of the forest are all poison. I have begun to walk away more than once, but I can't. The beauty, the true beauty of the forest compels me to stay.

As I watch my friends and listen to their stories, I see the poison growing up the trees and spreading as a ground cover. I am looking for the Jewelweed. I am wondering if I am the Jewelweed. How I want to be! I think sometimes I am. But how does it work?

Well, according to http://www.altnature.com/jewelweed.htm:
"When you are out in the field and find you have been exposed to poison ivy, oak, or stinging nettle you can reach for the jewelweed plant and slice the stem, then rub its juicy inside on exposed parts. This will promptly ease irritation and usually prevents breakout for most people."

So, it seems I need to be willing to be cut open. The fluid which flows in me (you mean, like my blood?) needs to be rubbed on the affected areas of the person who was poisoned.

Not a gentle touch by me, not just gazing in my general direction, but I need to be broken open if I want to be an antidote. As a human, there are lots of ways to be broken open. Sometimes just being present is being broken open, but being present in an intentional, purposeful, and vulnerable way ... not simply hanging around.

It is an easy jump to bring up the metaphor of Jesus being broken open as an antidote, and yes, I could make a sermon out of that. Someday I might. But right now, I'm thinking about those in the church today who call themselves people of faith, people who I would say are anointed of the Holy Spirit to fulfill the call of Christ in this world. We need to be the antidote, not the poison. We need to be there, close to the poison so that we are available. We need to be accessible and ready. We need to be willing.

This isn't an altar call. I'm not going to end by asking "who is with me?" I'm grieving and I'm angry. I'm thinking out loud. What's happening isn't enough. It will never be enough. Nothing, so far, has been enough. Jesus wasn't enough, why should I think I will be. And yet, Jesus went all the way. He knew there would be more work. He knew he was asking a lot of those who said they were his disciples. And he talked about the poison and the antidote growing side by side.

I have dedicated myself to partnering with Jesus, to being guided by his teachings and his spirit, and to live humbly and powerfully. So, now I want to be a Jewelweed.

Sunday, September 05, 2010

How Many Ways Are There To Sing A Song?

Below are four versions of the song, Leaning On The Everlasting Arms. I love this song and admittedly I chose four versions that I like out of the many many versions available on YouTube.

Everlasting Arms has been playing in my head for the last few weeks. The idea of leaning on the arms of Jesus is a wonderful way for me to feel comforted and strengthened. Singing this song helps my soul to remember that I need to trust, breathe, focus, and allow myself to hope.

Since I began checking out the YouTube videos of this song I have found a new inspiration. It is the inspiration that I feel from many voices saying (or singing) the same thing but doing it in their own way. At first I began searching for the song that I knew ... the version that I knew. I never did find it. What I did find was a whole lot of people doing the same thing differently.

How many ways are there to sing a song? How many ways are there to live a life? How many ways are there to follow a path of faith? How many ways are there to be you?

Sometimes I think it is easy to slip into a template of how we are ourselves. We can put ourselves into a box just as easily as we put others in a box. The "I can'ts" and "This is just what I do" lines that we tell ourselves can be replaced with, "What if I tried it this way?"

There are many valid, holy, and wonderful ways to be. Keep leaning ... keep loving ... and keep your soul flexible ...