Cook County AIDS Benefit, Friday Aug 22

The Presence

Ezekiel 48:23 - 35
and
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
Shug and Celie talking about God:

Here's the thing, say Shug. The thing I believe. God is inside you and inside everybody else. You come into the world with God. But only them that search for it inside find it. And sometimes it just manifest itself even if you not looking, or don't know what you looking for. Trouble do it for most folks, I think. Sorrow, lord. Feeling like shit.

It? I ast.

Yeah, It. God ain't a he or a she, but a It.

But what do it look like? I ast.

Don't look like nothing, she say. It ain't a picture show. It ain't something you can look at apart from anything else, including yourself. I believe God is everything, say Shug. Everything that is or ever was or ever will be. And when you can feel that, and be happy to feel that, you've found It.

Shug a beautiful something, let me tell you. She frown a little, look out cross the yard, lean back in her chair, look like a big rose.

She say, My first step from the old white man was trees. Then air. Then birds. Then other people. But one day when I was sitting quiet and feeling like a motherless child, which I was, it come to me: that feeling of being part of everything, not separate at all. I knew that if I cut a tree, my arm would bleed. And I laughed and I cried and I run all around the house. I knew just what it was. In fact, when it happen, you can't miss it.

******************************

I walk around talking to squirrels and birds. I put my hand inside bushes and trees to feel them - not to feel their leaves and their bark, but to feel their life. I reach out to buildings, bridges, and furniture to connect with those who made them. I talk to people that I don't know and try to look at people as I pass them on the street or stand with them in an elevator. I see life all around me. I want to feel it. I want to touch it. I want to embrace it.

There is a heartbeat to this world that is pounding out life continuously. I believe it connects us to each other and to every other living thing. I believe it connects us to our past and to our future. I can't always feel it - but sometimes I can.

This life that I feel and sometimes don't feel but believe is there anyway - this life that connects us and sustains us - this heartbeat, I believe, is The Holy ... Our Creator.

Jesus said crazy things like, "I am the Life" and "I came that they might have life, and have it abundantly." Jesus also talks about abiding with us, even to the end of the age, and that he will send us a Comforter, which is the Holy Spirit that will live with us forever. Our sacred writing promises that there will always be a holy presence living with us and living within us.

At the end of Ezekiel, after all the strange visions and prophesies and bloodshed; after God makes it clear that exploitation and oppression of the weak, the sick, and the scattered is reprehensible; Israel is promised a city that will be divided equally among all the people. It is a city whose name is, "The Lord is There."

There is another city mentioned in our sacred writing. It is in the book of the Revelation. The one seeing the vision and narrating the story describes this city.

Revelation 21:1-8
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "See, the home of God is among mortals. God will dwell with them; they will be God's peoples, and God's self will be with them; God will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away." And the one who was seated on the throne said, "See, I am making all things new." Also the one seated on the throne said, "Write this, for these words are trustworthy and true." Then I was told, "It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give water as a gift from the spring of the water of life. Those who conquer will inherit these things, and I will be their God and they will be my children. But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the polluted, the murderers, the fornicators, the sorcerers, the idolaters, and all liars, their place will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death."

There's a lot in this section. I read more of it than I needed to because I don't want to avoid the ugly stuff, but I don't want to spend a lot of time on it either. First I want say that this is someone's vision - someone's dream maybe. I don't believe this is something to be taken literally. I know that many have though, and it has brought pain and condemnation to people who don't deserve to be hurt and condemned. Second, I don't believe our Divine Beloved will torture people eternally. I don't believe our Divine Beloved tortures people ever. I do believe that the author of this book had a vision and framed it in a way that made sense to them.

What I see as the focal point of this passage is that "the home of God is among mortals." The Holy dwells with us! I see this as being the same city that Ezekiel talked about. It's a brand new city. The old systems of oppression and hierarchy have no place here. If you live in this city, you must agree with the ground rules - all who thirst get water, and all who cry get their tears wiped away. This is not a place that The Holy visits or manages from afar. It is the very dwelling place of the one who is Love.

Alice Walker pushes the point even more, saying through the voices of Shug and Celie that we are connected not only to each other but to all of creation. This connection isn't theoretical, but it is the energy of the Creator itself. Shug says, "it come to me: that feeling of being part of everything, not separate at all. I knew that if I cut a tree, my arm would bleed." This is a form of solidarity that most people are frightened to imagine. She says that "God is everything." If we can believe, or even imagine believing, that God is everything and that we are connected to all of creation, that means that The Holy is present everywhere, or, in other words, that The Presence is.

Think about the Creator, our Divine Beloved, The Holy, God ... whatever name you use ... Think about using the name, The Presence. One Old Testament name for God is "I Am." Another is "The Lord Who Sees." Yet another is, "The Lord Who Provides." All these types of names insinuate a loving and involved Entity ... an Entity that is integrated into life. I want us to imagine this Entity as Presence. The one who sees is able to see because it is present. The one who provides is able to provide because it is present. The one who is ... who simply is ... is present.

That would mean that we are accompanied by the one who has loved, who continues to love and who will always love us. There is a power to accompanying someone. There is a peace that we can offer someone when we accompany them. When you walk a journey with someone and you share their pains and their joys, you are a witness to their life and they are a witness to yours. It goes both ways. So if The Presence is walking with us then we are also walking with The Presence. Our Creator is a witness to our life and we are a witness to the Creator's.

The Presence is the heartbeat of life. It is what I want to feel; what I want to touch; what I want to embrace. The Presence transcends time connecting us to the past and future. This week try living consciously accompanied by The Presence. See if there is a comfort there and a strength. We are the city. We are the dwelling place. We are accompanied by The Presence and at the same time we are to accompany others with our presence. Through us tears are wiped away and the thirsty are offered living water.

The Legacy of Slavery: The Cost of Generational Trauma

by Harriet's Daughter

I grew up in a big city in the Midwestern U.S. The neighborhood that I grew up in was a new development of small bungalows going up in a previously wooded, area, so there were woods to play in all around us, but we were really in the city. It was a very attractive place for those who were buying – young black couples who were recently migrated from the south. My parents both had had rural upbringings in the south, as did most everyone I knew in my neighborhood. We grew up knowing “down home” meant the places our parents, many of them with their southern accents, sayings and folkways intact, had come from. We northern city kids inherited much of that upbringing, although our circumstances were different than our parents.

My parents came north to find work and a life that the segregated south would not easily offer (which is not to say that life in the north was all butterflies and rainbows). My dad came, as hundreds/thousands of others did, to work in the auto plants. If I think about it, practically all of my friends had fathers, uncles, cousins that worked in either in auto or steel manufacturing. These were among the first good jobs – union jobs, too – that opened up to blacks. My mom had come because she had family up north already; an uncle and aunt and their kids - from the same small town in Florida she was from. After my parents met and married, they lived in an apartment near my mother’s relatives for a while. This apartment was in a densely populated, inner city area. When the opportunity came up to move to the new house in the neighborhood described above, where there were lawns and woods all around, they jumped at the chance.

While we lived in that house, our personal family migration story continued. Aunts, uncles, cousins – a whole assortment of relatives streamed through, living with us a couple of weeks, a few months or in one case several years, until they found work and settled into their own homes. That’s what happened in lots of families. The chance to buy a home… to own property was huge.

And although in my childhood memory there was plenty of space to roam, in reality these were tiny little houses on tiny little plots of land, in a corner of the city where our families were allowed to live in relative peace. It was starting out as a black neighborhood. However, in other parts of the city, the white parts, when black people moved in, whites moved out. If they didn’t move out of the city altogether to the suburbs, they moved further west – the white side of town.

A while back, Ding over at BitchPhd wrote a post that talked about the importance of land for black families:

The new Skip Gates special on PBS is full of these stories of passing, diaspora, disappearance and reinvention.

What strikes me about some of these early stories of lost family members reclaimed is how prominent black-owned land figures into them and how crucial the land is to forming early black identity as well as ideas of freedom and citizenship. The program begins with Gates visiting the land his family has owned for 6 generations and passes by a parcel of land his family had owned but had to sell. Since part of their own genealogical story is lost to them, their farm acts like an anchor for their identity. In subsequent conversations with celebrities like Chris Rock, Tina Turner, Morgan Freeman, Don Cheadle or Tom Joyner, Gates reveals that their families had once owned land - 40 acres, 62 acres, 65 acres - donating or selling some of their land to build schools or churches. The revelations about property and land ownership become a source of pride in their family.

What is it that Rock says – If he had known this before, it would have taken away the inevitability that he would be nothing. And property is usually the vehicle for these stories to come to light; it acts like a bracket around early black families: you were property and now you have property.

At the turn of the century blacks owned between 12-15 million acres of land; by the 30s and 40s that number shrinks to just a little over a million. For many of these black families the land is a foundation to build their newly acquired identities as freed people that suddenly disappears, forcing their story to jump, only to be picked up further down the line. What happened? What happened in those intervening years? Did African Americans just suddenly decide, “Hm, you know, owning land sucks. Let’s pick up and go north”? Usually something else happened to make a family, or even a whole black town, disperse.

(Read the whole post here.)

She cites Torn from the Land, an investigation into the loss of black families’ land between the period of reconstruction and the Civil Rights Movement:

In an 18-month investigation, The Associated Press documented a pattern in which black Americans were cheated out of their land or driven from it through intimidation, violence and even murder.

In some cases, government officials approved the land-takings; in others, they took part in them. The earliest occurred before the Civil War; others are being litigated today.

Some of the land taken from black families has become a country club in Virginia, oilfields in Mississippi, a baseball spring-training facility in Florida.

The United States has a long history of bitter land disputes, from range wars in the Old West to broken treaties with American Indians. Poor white landowners, too, were sometimes treated unfairly, pressured to sell at rock-bottom prices by railroads and mining companies.

The fate of black landowners has been an overlooked part of this story.

The AP — in an investigation that included interviews with more than 1,000 people and the examination of tens of thousands of public records — documented 107 land-takings in 13 Southern and border states.

In those cases alone, 406 black landowners lost more than 24,000 acres of farm and timberland plus 85 smaller properties, including stores and city lots. Today, virtually all of this property, valued at tens of millions of dollars, is owned by whites or corporations.

Properties taken from blacks were often small — a 40-acre farm, a modest house. But the losses were devastating to families struggling to overcome the legacy of slavery.

Anti-racism education makes the connection between white privilege and generational wealth. This flies in the face of the American myth of “pulling oneself up by one’s bootstraps.” In this society, poor people are blamed for their poverty – the reason people are poor, we think, is because they are lazy, or they don’t have good judgment, they have poor morals or they just are not smart. We don’t acknowledge that generational wealth (as one example – there are many others) makes a huge difference in the life of an individual (and therefore a family, and thus a community), and this is absolutely connected to having property. When people have property that they can pass on to their children or other relatives, this makes a difference.

Of course, it is not only about owning land, which is not a universal concept, anyway. When people don’t have to pull up stakes because no one will hire you because of the body you inhabit, this makes a difference. When people move out of neighborhoods that suddenly become “undesirable” this makes a difference.

So it is not only the monetary value of the land. The ability to move freely about is a kind of capital, too. It is knowing that you belong somewhere; that you fit in, that you have an identity and being treated accordingly. It is the ability to not have your very presence be so offensive to people that they want to annihilate you and those who look like, or act like you. And so, while I am reflecting here upon the past, this is not simply a story of the past. People who inhabit bodies that are considered “wrong” are fair game for mistreatment. Some bodies do not matter… not then, not now.

Native peoples, whose identity is closely connected to the land, were murdered or run off land they had inhabited for centuries. Of those who survived, many of their children endured “kill the Indian, save the man” campaigns that were meant to “civilize” them; make them American, make them white… by denying their language, cutting their hair, keeping them away from their communities… so much more. Refusing to abandon their cultures cost them the right to move freely about in wider society. The trauma of this sustained pattern of genocide is evident today.

For my people, the descendants of Africans who were enslaved, there is a different story, but a parallel one. Enslaved people owned no property; they did not even own themselves. Even their children and their partners, (should they be allowed to marry), could be taken away from them in an instant - sold away to someone else. Even our names do not belong to us. There are not many generations that I can count in my family tree; there is no land that I can point to and say, “This is where my people come from.” Several years ago, my daughter and I visited Nigeria – it was my first trip to an African country. While we were there, many people welcomed us, welcomed us “home.” But one man I talked to spoke the truth when he said that he had sorrow for African Americans, because we “do not know where our village is.”

I do not know where my village is. Does it matter? Should it matter? On the surface, perhaps it does not. I prefer to live in a world where I can connect to people beyond the fact of shared bloodline – after all, I am the mother of an adopted child. I have friends whose ties to me run much, much deeper than blood. I want to create a world where people do not align themselves into tribes with boundaries that cannot be breached, whatever those boundaries happen to be. Yet, I cannot help but believe that the combination of this “homelessness” and the reality that my people have been reviled for most of our history in this country feed into a communal psyche that is damaged and goes untreated.

My parents grew up under the system of segregation. They saw the signs that said “colored” and “white.” They learned the corresponding message that they were thought to be so … what? Inhuman? Unclean? Diseased? …that they could not share space - eat… work… watch movies… worship – with white people. What does that do to a people, generation after generation? Yet we are told slavery was a long time ago, segregation is illegal. Get over it. Move on.

I believe this is a wound that has not been healed in the souls of my people. I don’t know that it can be. Last Tuesday, the U.S. House of Representatives passed an official apology for slavery and segregation. Reparations were not mentioned as part of the apology – I believe the resolution would never have made the floor had they been. Many people believe an apology without the offer of restitution is meaningless. Perhaps so. But the acknowledgement that it happened, and it was wrong, and that the repercussions are long-lasting…. is a tiny bit of salve on that wound.

The Illinois Women of African Descent Coalition

The Future Depends on Memories

Ecclesiastes 11:7 – 12:14

A little over a week ago, I went to see the Rev. Dr. Renita Weems speak. Dr. Weems is a nationally-renowned theologian and an ordained elder in the African Methodist Church. She has been a member of the faculty of Vanderbilt University and Spelman College, and she has been celebrated by Ebony Magazine as one of America's top 15 preachers. She touched on a variety of subjects that made me think and double-think. One such double-think nugget for me was her reference to research that says grown women have a harder time sticking with an exercise program when they did not exercise when they were kids. Apparently they are finding that having no memory of past exercise makes it harder to exercise in the future. Picking up something from scratch is hard when you're an adult.

The word, remember, is important in our reading today. "Remember your creator in the days of your youth." Remember your creator BEFORE the days of trouble come and BEFORE the sun and the light and moon and the stars are darkened and BEFORE the silver cord is snapped and the golden bowl is broken. Remember your creator BEFORE the bad things happen. If you have no memory of your creator before the bad things happen, how will you have memory of your creator WHEN they are happening?

Just like kids who avoid exercise when they are young find it difficult to exercise when they need to ... when they are older and their metabolism slows, if we avoid things like prayer or meditation; practicing love, forgiveness, and humility; and being thankful to our Divine Beloved - if we avoid those things when all is well, how will we remember to do them when things get difficult? It's hard to start love from scratch when you have no memory of loving. It's hard to pray from scratch or have spiritual conversations with your friends when you have no memory of doing these things. Often these things don't even come to mind at the most critical times.

Things like prayer, meditation, love, forgiveness, repentance – these aren't just religious ideals for which the ultimate spiritual person strives. These are coping skills. They are the coping skills of people of faith.

Just before the character of Solomon tells us to remember he says, "Banish anxiety from your mind, and put away pain from your body; for youth and the dawn of life are vanity." Youth and the dawn of life don't last, that's pretty clear from this verse I think. But what does banish anxiety from your mind and put away pain from your body mean? I would like very much to do that. I have pain in my body that I'd like to put away and anxiety that I'd like to banish. How about you? It isn't that easy though. Do you just say, "Anxiety, you are hereby banished!" and it all goes away. I believe in miracles ... I do ... but I can't seem to make stuff like that happen just by making a declaration.

But maybe I can make things a little easier on myself if I practice taking care of my body, spirit, emotions, and mind while I am in a good place. That way when pain occurs or anxiety starts to get in the way I have developed a habit of better responses. When a crisis happens and I am already in the habit of prayer, I am much more likely to pray during the crisis. I know of a man who prayed in tongues daily. One day he was at the dentist office and had to have oral surgery. The story goes that while they were putting him under he started praying in tongues. It was just what he did.

I can tell where I am in my prayer life based on how I react to a crisis situation. A few years back I hit a deer. As my vehicle was careening down the highway I started praying asking Jesus for help. It was involuntary. On the other hand, I have been known to involuntarily spew out some, let's call them "unsavory words," in other crisis situations such as when I stub my toes. I hate stubbing my toes. It really really gets to me. I don't always shout out, "Oh Jesus help me."

When it isn't my pattern to remember my Divine Beloved, I'm not going to remember to remember in a crisis. I won't remember when the day of trouble comes if I don't remember before the day of trouble. The day of trouble doesn't put me in a reflective mind ... "Well now, what might be the best way to handle this sticky situation?" That is not what I'm thinking. In fact, we don't tend to think in those situations. We just react. We go to our default.

When life isn't hard is when it's the most crucial to practice our faith. Rest assured life becomes hard sometimes. Church life becomes hard sometimes. Our faith gets challenged at every level. Every church has hard times - times of crisis. This church has had hard times. Living through a crisis takes its toll. We need to keep remembering our creator. We need to keep practicing our faith both at home and within our community. I think it's easy to get out of the habit when the crisis is over because we need to fall out for awhile.

We are all in different stages of healing. We are also in different stages of crisis. While it is difficult to start our faith from scratch during hard times, it isn't impossible. The fact that you are here at church means that you are remembering the importance of community in your life. I'm not saying we all have to go to church every single time there's a meeting. I do want us to think about our habits though. What is your (and my) tendency? What's going to happen with me the next time I stub my toe? What will happen with me if I hit another deer?

No matter where we are in our crisis or healing of anything, we have to remember now. Because if we remember now ... we won't have to remember later. The memory will find us.

Deuteronomy 6:4-12
Hear, O Israel: The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart. Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise. Bind them as a sign on your hand, fix them as an emblem on your forehead, and write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. When the Lord your God has brought you into the land that he swore to your ancestors, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give you - a land with fine, large cities that you did not build, houses filled with all sorts of goods that you did not fill, hewn cisterns that you did not hew, vineyards and olive groves that you did not plant - and when you have eaten your fill, take care that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.

When things are going well, don't forget. Do whatever you have to to remember. How do we create these memories? What do we practice? What does it mean to pray or to love? How do we remember to be humble and thankful? Some of you may already have daily or weekly practices. I like to do braiding and knotting as a meditative practice. I also have a meditation moment when I brush my teeth. I don't think about what I'm going to pack for lunch or if I'll find matching socks. It's a way for me to focus on the moment I am in rather than the moment I might be in next. It's a small way ... but for me it helps to remind me that I want to be present in as many moments as I can throughout the day.

According to Deuteronomy, do whatever you have to. Put sticky notes on your computer or bathroom mirror of favorite verses; sing songs in the car that remind you how best to walk your faith; talk to each other about your faith, actively see people you come in contact with as being holy and sacred; look in the mirror and remind yourself that you are holy and sacred. You are holy and sacred, you know ...

Forgive the person who swipes your parking spot - the one you've been circling around to find for the last 15 minutes; forgive yourself for things you would beat yourself up about; thank the Creator for the grass or the trees or the lake; thank the Creator for having running water and electricity if you have it.

All of these are coping skills that you are developing for when the time comes and "the silver cord is snapped and the golden bowl is broken."

One day I was walking into the downtown office building where I work, and as I turned the corner toward the elevator with a UPS woman next to me, the elevator opened up. Spontaneously - because I was in a good place - I said, "Thank you, Jesus." The UPS woman said, "Amen!" From the security desk I heard the voice of the head of security say, "Gus pushed the button." Of course I thanked Gus for pushing the button for us. But that reminded me to thank people for the little things - for pushing the elevator button or holding a door open. This may sound simple and maybe trivial, but it isn't. These are ways of practicing. Here's another thing that I've found to be really helpful in my faith walk - I try to remember to smile, especially when I enter a room. If I find myself forgetting, I write the word "smile" on my hand. Smiling can change your whole day.

Verse 9 of chapter 11 in Ecclesiastes tells us to rejoice. Throughout the book we are reminded to Eat, Drink, and Be Merry. Enjoy this life the best you can. It isn't hedonism - it's good faith practice. If you are in the habit of enjoying what you can that's in your life, then when things get messed up, you have a foundation of joy or at least the ability to smile.
Sure there are some intense things you can do. You can go to the gulf coast to help repair the damage there; you can go on a retreat; you can volunteer for an organization - but it's the daily practices that help us develop the coping skills we need for the daily and the unusual crisis. It's also the daily practices that help us know when we need to do something more intense. This week look for the moments when you can actively remember your Creator ... your Divine Beloved. Think about what Deuteronomy suggests to, "Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise. Bind them as a sign on your hand, fix them as an emblem on your forehead, and write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." Think of ways to remember today, so that in the future the memory will come to you when you need it.

Do It Anyway

My sermon from July 20, 2008

Ecclesiastes 10:1 – 11:6

This week's text is filled with practical advice, analogies, consequences, and challenges. Having grown up on a farm, I know the truth of an iron, such as an axe, needing to be whet, or sharpened, so that you don't have to exert as much force. And I know that at some point, if you are splitting logs, you will get hurt by one of them. It isn't about not getting hurt as much as it's about not getting hurt badly.

Verse 11 of chapter 10 talks about not needing a snake charmer if the snake bites you first. The elders in my family had a similar saying, "No point closing the barn door once the horse is out of the barn." That's what they would tell us kids. It is the same as saying, "too little too late." We were being taught to look ahead, make plans and provisions, to think about consequences - stuff like that.

One of my favorite proverbs is Proverbs 14:4, "Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox." When I first read this at 15 years of age I had been pitching manure for years. I also knew that before there were tractors, farmers used oxen to plow their fields. What I considered to be the true meaning of this scripture was not lost on me. This proverb is a metaphor to talk about what's worth doing and what isn't worth doing. If eating in winter is a priority, then maybe it's worth pitching some manure in the summer. There are trade-offs to everything. You have to decide what is most important to you.

Being a part of a faith community is no different. There are some inevitable consequences to joining yourself to other people spiritually and seeking The Holy together. There is a vulnerability to doing this that at some point will end up with you being hurt by someone or hurting someone. Sometimes it happens because of wrongdoing and sometimes it's just because it hurts to be vulnerable. Being part of a faith community costs you time and money and love and ... what else? You know what it costs you. And you do it because you want to. I hope you want to. You do it because it is more important for you to be a part of this community than it is for you to hang on to whatever you might otherwise hang on to. There are trade-offs to everything.

What we read today in chapter 11 is important to keep in mind when we're thinking about these things - things like consequences and trade-offs. The character of Solomon is encouraging us to go into our endeavors with our eyes open, knowing the costs and the hazards, but with all that, we are told to get involved with the endeavor. "Send your bread upon the waters; divide your means; and plant your seeds." In other words, do stuff. Sending your bread and dividing your means is thought by scholars to be metaphors for doing charity. Do stuff - do good stuff.

We don't know how it will all work out. Do it anyway. Verse 4 says, "Whoever observes the wind will not sow; and whoever regards the clouds will not reap." If we wait for the perfect time or the right environment or the perfect/right anything, we'll end up doing nothing.

In "Letter from a Birmingham Jail," dated April 16, 1963, the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, "We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed. Frankly, I have yet to engage in a direct action campaign that was "well timed" in the view of those who have not suffered unduly from the disease of segregation. For years now I have heard the word "Wait!" It rings in the ear of every Negro with piercing familiarity. This "Wait" has almost always meant "Never." We must come to see, with one of our distinguished jurists, that "justice too long delayed is justice denied." The work of Dr. King would have been thwarted had he listened to the word, "Wait."

You might be thinking, "Now pastor, that's really intense." And you'd be right. What Dr. King did was very intense. I'm not saying that we are on the pinnacle of some great revolutionary movement, although I do believe that such things as feeding the poor and sheltering the homeless are in fact revolutionary acts. But I don't want to talk about the acts themselves right now. I am lifting up Dr. King to say that here is a man who did amazing things against all odds, and with enemies on all sides. White men who claimed they were on his side told him to back off and that what he was doing was wrong. What Dr. King was doing was scary to these white so-called allies, and way too aggressive. Dr. King knew that he had to press on. That timeliness was a convenience of those in power. He knew what resources he had and he used them as frequently as he could.

I have questions for us today. What are our resources? What is our passion? How do we want to engage in this world? Financially ... well, let's just say that there are churches better off than we are. So what! Money may not be our resource. What is the bread that is our charity? What are the means that we can share? What seeds do we have as a community? Maybe our bread is experience. We have just had our 20th birthday as a church! We have a legacy in the American Baptist denomination. We know how to struggle with being outcasts. We have been a leader in the fight for the inclusion of queer people in Christianity. We are also leaders in knowing how to love. I see it every week. I see it in your eyes as you look at one another. I see it in the way you offer each other prayers and the elements of our communion table. I see it as you welcome visitors. I see it as you reach out beyond your comfort zone. Yes, I see it here.

We need to bring it out there. We need to figure out our resources so that we can reach out in love to those who don't feel love. I don't care about making converts. I care about offering community to people who feel isolated. I care about getting the word out that we are still here and that we are strong. I care about taking steps forward and not waiting for the right time, because there may not be a right time. Verse 6 says, "In the morning sow your seed, and at evening do not let your hands be idle; for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good." We do not know.

In the 14th chapter of Matthew there's a familiar story about Jesus walking on water.

And early in the morning Jesus came walking toward them on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, saying, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them and said, "Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid." Peter answered him, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." He said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat, started walking on the water, and came toward Jesus. But when he noticed the strong wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!" Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"

It's so easy for us to be like Peter. We might be in the middle of doing the most amazing and wonderful thing and the next thing we know, we feel like we're drowning. We think we're following the very voice of Jesus and then we look at the wind and it's a strong wind and it scares us. Why do we doubt? Is it because we think everything we do should be successful or else we are failures? Do we think if there's resistance, circumstantially or through people, that maybe we should take that as a sign? The story of Peter does not teach us this. Peter didn't even pray that his walking on water be "God's will." Neither did he ask permission. This was a test Peter was giving to Jesus. "Hey man, if it's really you then command me to join you." That's some gutsy talk. But Jesus did it. And Peter followed through. This story also teaches us that when we falter that we can be lifted up. "Save me," Peter shouted.

Following the way of Jesus is a risk-taking venture. Joining a community of faith is a risk-taking venture. Engaging in society is a risk-taking venture. But we can choose the depth of the risks we take. Who do we want to be? Do we want to be leaders? Do we want to love those that others have rejected? Do we want to think outside of our own pattern of doing things to become a force of love to be reckoned with?

I want to walk on water. I want to plant in the morning and at night. I want to learn how to give the resources that I have and not wish for the resources that I think I need. I don't want to wait for the right time because I think that "wait" means "never." I want to follow the way of my teacher, Jesus and my brother, Dr. King.

What ideas can we come up with to make a difference and to let people know that we are a vibrant loving community of faith? What do you think about starting a community garden in one of the city lots and working with queer homeless youth - teaching them how to grow things and giving them the food to eat that they grow. What do you think about starting a support group for battered women? What if we figured out how to restart the coffee house that we used to have? Maybe we could start a choir with the queer homeless youth? I'm just throwing out ideas. What are your ideas? What are your talents? How much time do you have? When can we start?

I'm not sure when our next community meeting is, but will you be there? Will you come and share in the food and brainstorm with us? This is what I think church is. Sure, we gather together on Sunday to encourage one another and to get energy and to remind ourselves that we have something to offer, but it's our whole life that is involved. We can make a difference. I know we can.

But I Thought ...

This is my sermon from July 6, 2008

Wickedness and Righteousness are not always so clear cut. We think we know what they are and then we meet someone who confuses us or changes our minds. Sometimes we meet our own self and we find out what we were categorizing as righteousness is actually better defined as wickedness - or - that what we defined as wickedness is really more righteous than our righteousness.
Jesus was, and still is, difficult to categorize. The religious leaders of his time disagreed with the common folk, accusing Jesus of such things as being a leader of demons, being a drunkard, and carousing with prostitutes and other sinners. Jesus' followers, however, believed he was sent by God - that he was doing righteous and holy things. Today, when we actually read the words that are attributed to him, it's not always clear what he wants us to understand or learn.

Today I want to talk about expectations and how they become easily foiled - the expectations that Paul had for himself; the expectation of Jesus; the expectations of the writer of Ecclesiastes, and finally, our own expectations.

Let me speak to you for a moment as a Cubs fan. I know that not everyone in this room is a Cubs fan, and I'm not out to convert anyone. It's just that this year we have some high expectations. It's true that every year a Cubs fan has expectations, but this year they have become especially high. Not since 2003 have we been so hopeful. This year, when we swept the Sox at Wrigley Field, I was expecting us to at least win one game against them at Sox Park. Naive? Probably. But I'm a Cubs fan. I have these hopes and dreams and, yes, these expectations. I know that winning the World Series will not bring about the Kingdom of God, although I have heard one interpretation of the Lion laying down with the Lamb as the White Sox playing catch with the Cubs.

What about more serious subjects. What about racism? Now that we have a black man running for the office of the president, there are some folks who have the expectation that that means racism is a thing of the past. The black folks don't so much think this ... it's us white folks who have this idea. We want to say, "See, there is no racism. Look what that (mostly) black man has accomplished." Then, if we listen, we hear our dark skinned sisters and brothers pointing out the racism that they experience in their own lives.

A woman almost got the nomination. Does that mean that the fight against misogyny is over? Queer folks have their own parade. Does that mean the fight against heterosexism and homophobia is over? Jesus rose from the dead conquering sin and death. Does that mean our fight against sin and death is over?

It's just not how it works, is it? We think when we get to "this" certain place ... whatever that place is ... that it will be evidence that we've fought the good fight and won. When we finally get to "that" place, we find that our expectations haven't really been met. It's disappointing - sometimes disheartening.

Last week a woman named Esmin Green - a poor, black, mentally ill woman - was brought to a New York City hospital. She needed treatment. Have many of you heard about this in the news? It's a devastating story. She died on the floor of the hospital waiting room. It's recorded on the hospital's surveillance camera. She was lying on the floor for an hour. People walked by her, both medical personnel and other patients. No one helped her. No one cared enough about her because she was poor and black and mentally ill. One would think once you get to a hospital that you'll not die on the floor of the waiting room. One would think that once we have a black man running for president that this kind of thing would not happen to a black woman. One would think a lot of things ... and their, or rather our, expectations would be dashed.

I have a love/hate relationship with expectations. I know that they are practical to have, such as when you set goals or make plans. I had an expectation that I would preach here today. Some of you may have been expecting to see me here today. There's nothing wrong with making plans. I think it's the investment that we make in the plan that gets us into trouble. The higher the investment, the more disappointed we become when our expectations are foiled.

Think about the disappointment of Jesus' followers with each strike of the hammer as he was being nailed to the cross. They had invested everything in the idea that Jesus was the Messiah who would save them from their political and religious oppressions. Sometimes our expectations keep us from listening. Jesus never promised them freedom from the fight. He promised them the fight and that they could have peace and freedom while fighting.

The writer of Ecclesiastes seems to be saying, "You know, I thought the wicked were supposed to die young and the righteous were supposed to be wealthy and grow old. This isn't what I expected at all." We often overlay our expectations onto life. When someone is poor, they must not be working hard enough or they're not very smart. When someone uses a handicap spot, even if they have a handicap sticker in their car, but they have no discernable symptoms, we may assume they are a jerk. Disease looks like this and poverty looks like that and wealth looks like this other thing ... and so it goes.

Real life doesn't bear these things out, and then we struggle to reconcile our expectations with what is really happening around us. Paul struggles with this in Romans 7 when he says, "For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do." He can't even reconcile his own actions with his core beliefs. And frankly, often, neither can we. In Matthew's gospel Jesus is perplexed and angry. People don't recognize what he thinks should be obvious - who John is and who he is. He sounds heartbroken me - heartbroken and angry. The character of Solomon struggles with disappointment in Ecclesiastes. He says, "When I applied my mind to know wisdom, and to see the business that is done on earth, how one's eyes see sleep neither day nor night, then I saw all the work of God, that no one can find out what is happening under the sun. However much they may toil in seeking, they will not find it out; even though those who are wise claim to know, they cannot find it out."

As we come to the Table today - as we commune together - what are our expectations of what this means? Can we, today, try to put away everything that we think we should think and feel about this? Can we peel away the layers of time and experience that may have dulled our ability to observe the moment and fully participate in the now? If we can do that here, in this vital ritual of our faith, can we then take it outside these walls and observe the now more fully as we live our day to day lives. If we can do that, might we know better who John the Baptist is? Might we recognize Jesus? Might we notice Esmin Green? Might we see each other, our neighbors, our friends, and our foes for who they are and not who we have decided them to be?

I think we will. And, I think if we give ourselves to this practice, we will also know ourselves a little better too. We will become less anxious about our expectations being met because we will have less investment in the expectations and more investment in observing what is right in front of us. I think this is one of the ways that we change the world - one of the ways that we usher in the Kingdom of God. The way is this - We live in now. We feel the power and the truth of now. We work and change things now. We love, now.

Mixed Messages - June 29th Message

Gay Pride is complicated. According to some religious folks and in some places in the Bible we are told that Pride is a sin. On the other hand, we are also taught to take pride in such things as our work or our family. Our English word Pride isn't very specific. Merriam Webster has 6 separate definitions of the word Pride. This is the first definition:

PRIDE
1: the quality or state of being proud: as a: inordinate self-esteem : conceit b: a reasonable or justifiable self-respect c: delight or elation arising from some act, possession, or relationship

Doesn't that sound like 3 definitions? But that's just the first one. Pride is complicated and contradictory.

Ecclesiastes is also complicated and contradictory. I love this chapter because it's so messed up. It's so crude and human. The character of Solomon simultaneously tells us not to be either too righteous or too wicked and then turns around and scorns all women for being unable to meet his standards. He also tells us that death is better than birth and then tells us that death is bitter, but not as bitter as a woman who is a trap. It isn't a woman who lays a trap - the woman herself is the trap. And according to the rest of the chapter all women seem to be this way.

This teacher we've been studying, presumably male, claims to have found one man among a thousand who can meet his standard. Well, Happy Pride everyone. No wonder he finds women to be a trap! This guy's gay and he's blaming it on women rather doing what he has been instructing us for the last few chapters ... to eat, drink, and be merry.

Pride is complex and contradictory. Ecclesiastes is complicated and contradictory. We are complex and contradictory. Each one of us individually and each one of the communities we belong to is complex and contradictory.

As most of you know, I have had a lot of therapy. I'm grateful for that. If you find a really good therapist it's wonderful. I've been lucky to find a few good ones. In one of my sessions with my last therapist a few years back I was troubled because my girlfriend at the time was railing on me for having mixed messages. I didn't know what she was talking about. My therapist listened to my story and finally said, "There's a reason she thinks you have mixed messages, and that's because you have more than one message." I was stunned. I felt guilty and shameful. Quickly my therapist continued. She said, "You have more than one message because you want more than one thing. We all do."

Friends, I learned that anyone who thinks they have one message is lying to themselves. What we need to do is find out what those messages are ... not pretend that we don't have them. When we read any sacred book, especially our own, we need to remember that it too has mixed messages. It doesn't help us to justify them. I think the best thing we can do is look right at them ... look right at the complexities and the contradictions.

My own belief system is riddled with contradictions. I believe that Jesus is our savior – that he is sacred and holy – and I love to worship him. At the same time I believe that Jesus was a human man who was a political and religious revolutionary and that we are all called, like him, to be saviors in our own time. I believe we are all sacred and holy. Does that mean I need to stop giving in to the ecstasy of worshiping Jesus or that I should start worshiping you? It's complicated and there are contradictions.

I have mixed messages. Jesus had mixed messages. The writer of Ecclesiastes had mixed messages. Every one of us has mixed messages. Many of us are queer and proud. At the same time we all make choices when we will come out to people. If we had one message wouldn't we come out to everyone all the time? Life isn't that simple. We have to make choices. Does it negate our pride when we decide not to be forthcoming about our sexual orientation or gender identity? Not necessarily. What's the difference between deceit and prudence? What's the difference between pride that is inordinate self-esteem and pride that is reasonable or justifiable self-respect? At what point is labeling ourselves a badge of honor and acceptance and at what point is it a box that we put ourselves in?

The parade itself has mixed messages. It is both a parade of protest and a parade of privilege. When we march as a church we are protesting the hetero-normative standard of family and faith. This is good to do. I think we also need to be aware that we are staging this parade in a very privileged way. When the fundamentalists are on the side lines with their banners and bull horns we get mad at their audacity and ignorance. Yes, they are audacious and ignorant - I agree with that 100%. However, even if their prejudice and hate is acceptable to many, there are laws that state they are not allowed to hang us or burn us or otherwise cause us physical harm. These laws don't change anyone's heart, but sometimes they protect us. The laws don't protect us all the time. There are enough people with legal authority who will overlook evidence or do any number of things to save their own from punishment, but at least we have something in writing to work with. There are gay pride parades around the world where they are protesting with the hope of getting some of the laws we take for granted. Just for being in the parade these people get put in jail, stoned, or hanged. When we march here, with the freedoms that we have, we are marching on behalf of those who can't. We are demonstrating to the world that there is freedom to be had. We are inciting others who do not have our freedom to go after it for themselves. Sometimes they die trying. Sometimes we do too. When we use our privilege as a chance to protest, isn't that a sort of mixed message? Doesn't it complicate the event? I hope it does. And I hope that we can wrestle with those contradictions and complications.

Peace isn't having a simple message. Freedom isn't about every one being nice to one another and getting to party. Privilege isn't about finally getting to take it easy. All of these ideals are complicated and filled with contradictions. I think the character of Solomon got it right in verses 15 - 18, "In my vain life I have seen everything; there are righteous people who perish in their righteousness, and there are wicked people who prolong their life in their evildoing. Do not be too righteous, and do not act too wise; why should you destroy yourself? Do not be too wicked, and do not be a fool; why should you die before your time? It is good that you should take hold of the one, without letting go of the other; for the one who fears God shall succeed with both."

Many, in their wickedness, have declared us wicked! So friends, in our peace-seeking and freedom-fighting let us take hold of our righteousness alongside our wickedness. In our privilege let us fight against oppression. And above all, let us remember that the one who respects and loves God succeeds, both with wisdom and folly, with righteousness and wickedness. We need to let our love for our Divine Beloved motivate us in our righteousness and our wickedness. As you move through this world, take hold of one without letting go of the other.

Esmin Green - Death By Racism and Classism

First, I want to direct your attention to Womanist Musings - http://www.womanist-musings.com/2008/07/esmin-greenyes-she-mattered.html

Second, I want to tell you the little that we know about Ms Green. She was black. She was poor. She was mentally ill. She died alone in a room full of people, including health professionals who ignored her. There is a video surveillance of her death in the hospital waiting room.

Third, I need to say this ...

The blatant disregard for Ms. Green's humanity and sacred worth makes me want to vomit. It also makes me want to storm the temple of whiteness and capitalism with a cat o' nine tails. Ms. Green wasn't going to make anyone any richer or feel any whiter than they already were or felt, so they let her die on the floor of a hospital waiting room.

This is a Disgrace! This is Shameful! Had this been a middle class white man would this have happened? How about a middle class white woman? I doubt it. We treat our pets better than we treat the Esmin Green's of our communities. It isn't enough to finger point at New York or at whatever hospital she was it. What are we going to DO?

Will each one of us, especially each one of us white people, take the time to look for the Esmin Green's who are laying on the floor of hospital waiting rooms and ask someone for some HELP? Will we notice people on the subway? In the alley? On our streets where we live ... no, where they live and where we walk from and into our houses?

I am not simply suggesting that we "righteous white people" help those poor black people. I am calling upon us to connect with our siblings; to love because not loving is being abusive; and to see the people that the system of white middle class privilege has rendered invisible.

Will you? Will you do it?

Happy Pride Parade 2008

In the name of Peace and Pride
On behalf of The Holy, who is our Divine Beloved
Because WE are Holy
We march today

For those who cannot march
For those who have marched before
For those who have no idea that anyone can march
We march today

For you, if you would like
For ourselves
For the intersection of the sacred and the profane
We march today

To honor the past
To change the future
To live in the present
We march today

Presbyterians change their Constitution to allow gays and lesbians to become ordained!!

Happy Happy PRIDE!! And congratulations to all those who have worked so hard for so long!
***********************************

More Light Presbyterians Applaud General Assembly Action
PCUSA Welcomes All to Service in the Church
SAN JOSE, CA - June 27, 2008

More Light Presbyterians said a decision today by the 218th General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (USA) to lift its ban on ordination for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender persons is good news for Presbyterians and Christians across the country and world. "This is a great moment affirming God's love for all people. We are thankful to the Commissioners at this Assembly who upheld standards for leadership and service in our Church, and at the same time eliminated categorical discrimination that has denied ordination to LGBT persons based simply on who they are and who they fall in love with," said Michael J. Adee, Executive Director and Field Organizer for the organization.

The action by the General Assembly removes G.60106b from its Book of Order, the Constitution which governs the Church and replaces it with new language. Formerly, it required fidelity in marriage between a man and a woman or chastity in singleness to be eligible for ordination as deacons, elders or ministers. "The intent of this standard, passed over a decade ago, was to bar LGBT persons from full membership and service in our Church since marriage equality is not yet available to most in our country," Adee said. New language passed by the General Assembly reaffirms historic standards of the Church that focus on faith and character which has withstood the test of time, and did not exclude anyone based on sexual orientation, gender identity or marital status.

Looking to the Future
"A new spirit of acceptance and the recognition that we have many different kinds of families in our churches has taken hold," said Vikki Dearing, Co-Moderator. "This reflects the hearts and spirits of people in the pews. We rejoice with the many that will now be able to answer God's call to serve in our Church." We believe that God is doing a new thing in our Church. We believe that a more loving and welcoming Church is where the Spirit is taking us. We invite everyone who wants to know how to become a more welcoming and affirming place for all God's children to contact us. Together we are building a Church for all God's people!

Reaching Inside From the Outside - Ecclesiastes 6

Reaching Inside From the Outside - Ecclesiastes 6
Sermon from June 22, 2008

As most of you know, Sarah and I had a big decision to make last Sunday. Our cat, Skookie, has been struggling with kidney failure for the past year. We've been paying attention to her quality of life and her symptoms. The last couple of weeks I noticed her going off alone more than usual. There were other symptoms as well, but nothing that was enough to make us feel like we needed to bring her to the vet. This Sunday was different. We talked to the folks at the animal emergency hospital and decided we should spend the rest of the day together as a family. Monday morning we called Skookie's regular animal hospital and got an appointment for 12:30. After an examination and a discussion, Sarah, the doctor, and I decided it was time to help Skookie transition from this life to the next. The doctor left the three of us alone. We talked to Skookie, cried, and held each other. Then the doctor came back in with an assistant. Together we accompanied Skookie, and assisted her in her dying. We cried some more and held her now still body.

Before I talk about this experience in the context of our faith, I want to thank Sara Ross for taking over for me here (at church) and for her friendship and devotion to me and my family. Sara has been a constant and faithful friend for years. She is like a sister to me. I also want to thank Mark P. for his love, support, and encouragement. Next, I want to thank you all for your prayers and grace. We miss our little one. We commend her to The Holy and to Sarah's grandmother Marion. Every window sill in our home feels a little more empty than it did before. Each room has a little less energy. A few weeks ago, when I talked about feeling before healing, I really meant it. We are intentionally and actively feeling our loss even while at the same time we are grateful that Skookie is no longer suffering.

As I have been meditating on this experience, something that the doctor did became more and more meaningful to me. When she was examining Skookie, she did a number of things. She listened to our story about Skookie's symptoms, she took Skookie's temperature, and she palpated Skookie's body. The doctor did to our kitty what many doctors have probably done to each of us. She used her hands and reached toward Skookie's insides from outside her body. With her fingers, she detected a lump. There was something in our dear friend that should not have been there. The doctor said that she couldn't tell if this lump was inside the bladder, if it was an enlarged bladder, or if it was something inside the abdomen. In the doctor's professional opinion, for a 17 year old cat with kidney failure, it only mattered that there was a lump.

Through training, practice, and experience the doctor knew what the inside of our cat should have felt like. This is what I want to talk about today. I want to talk about reaching toward the inside from the outside. As people of faith I think we need to do this all the time. It is at least part of what faith is – reaching inside – not only seeing with our eyes or hearing with our ears. Certainly the doctor did all that. We need to do all that too. However, what we take in with our five senses is not enough. Jesus berated people for being able to observe and interpret the world with their five senses, but not be able to reach inside from the outside.

Luke 12:54-56
He also said to the crowds, "When you see a cloud rising in the west, you immediately say, 'It is going to rain'; and so it happens. And when you see the south wind blowing, you say, 'There will be scorching heat'; and it happens. You hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of earth and sky, but why do you not know how to interpret the present time?"

I think Jesus explains this difference between seeing and seeing in a section in Matthew.

Matthew 13:10 - 17
Then the disciples came and asked him, "Why do you speak to them in parables?" He answered, "To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given. For to those who have, more will be given, and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away. The reason I speak to them in parables is that 'seeing they do not perceive, and hearing they do not listen, nor do they understand.' With them indeed is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah that says: 'You will indeed listen, but never understand, and you will indeed look, but never perceive. For this people's heart has grown dull, and their ears are hard of hearing, and they have shut their eyes; so that they might not look with their eyes, and listen with their ears, and understand with their heart and turn - and I would heal them.' But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear. Truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, but did not see it, and to hear what you hear, but did not hear it."

In this passage, Jesus isn't just talking about a person's physical eyes and ears. He's talking about the eyes and ears of a person's soul or spirit.

The character of Solomon in the book of Ecclesiastes is very involved in experiencing the world and his life with his five senses, but both Jesus and Solomon do not limit their experiences to what they can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste in the tangible world.

The idea of a sixth sense is common. One pastor of mine called it "knowing with your knower." I like that phrase. I like the idea that we have a "knower." But I believe it is still too limiting to call it a sixth sense. For me, it's more like utilizing all five senses within the intangible realm. We can see in our spirit, taste in our spirit, touch and hear and smell in our spirit. When you walk into a room with people, if your physical vision is intact, you can see the people. But seeing the people with your physical eyes isn't the only way to experience them, is it? I bet you all, to one degree or another, have experienced a person looking at you without seeing them look at you. You can feel it. Have you ever turned your head for an unknown reason only to find yourself staring into the eyes of someone who was staring at you? Have you ever just "known" something was about to happen? Have you ever had to make a phone call to a friend and didn't know why until they answered and told you whatever story was on their heart? These are all examples of using our five senses with our spirits. We hear the cry of a friend in our soul. We feel the touch of someone's gaze.

Jesus experienced people this way too. The woman with the hemorrhage is the most obvious example. With all those people crowding around him how could he feel the power get pulled from his soul by this one woman who touched him for the very purpose of pulling that power?

As we read through Ecclesiastes; as we go about our day; as we discern who we are as a church … as a community; I implore us all to reach inside from the outside. Pay attention to those strange times when you know you know something; when you know you feel something; when you look at something and it doesn't actually look like what your eyes tell you it does. Just like Skookie's doctor, you don't always have to know exactly what it is that you are feeling. Sometimes it is enough to know simply that something is there. Other times we may be able to discern more specifically what is being sensed. It comes with practice, experience and some training. Our reading scripture together, my sharing what I see, our praying for each other, all of what we do together here and outside of these walls ... all these things are types of training, experience, and practice.

What I want to say more than anything is that we have this power! We are created with this power. It is part of who we are. Sure we misunderstand things sometimes. We don't always get the signs or the vibrations right. But we try again because we are made to reach inside from the outside. I think we need to peel away the layers of preconceived notions that we have ... of assumptions ... of sermons and teachings. When we read in Ecclesiastes that, "All human toil is for the mouth, yet the appetite is not satisfied. For what advantage have the wise over fools? And what do the poor have who know how to conduct themselves before the living?" ... when we read this, can we reach into it from the outside. Can we listen to it with our spirit as well as with our minds? Can we see the words beyond the words? Yes, I think we can. I have no doubt that we each can do this ... that we each bring a different perspective to these teachings and to our experiences. This is one reason we enjoy the participation of whosoever will in leading us in prayer and readings and communion. This power that we have been created with, to reach inside from the outside, gives glory our Divine Beloved and causes miracles to happen. It causes miracles to happen!

Reach out. Reach in. Reach around. Find your power. Find your gift. And share it with us.

Meaning Making - Ecclesiastes Chapter 4

This is the sermon that was preached at Grace Baptist of Chicago by Sara Ross, June 8, 2008.

Meaning Making by Sara Ross
Ecclesiastes Chapter 4

On this rather warm day I'd like to tell you a story that took place in the dead of winter. My friend shared this story with me one day about holiday depression. I'm going to call my friend Benny in order to keep his story his own. Benny shared with me something he did one very cold December day when he was in the depths of a holiday depression.

Benny found he couldn't face the many expectations that others put on him and that he put on himself relating to Christmas and New Year's. The holidays had become simultaneously overwhelming and yet meaningless to him the last couple of years. What he thought the point was had become lost and had been replaced with coercive good will and commercialism, which didn't lead to his good will at all.

Benny had learned in other years what he needed to do in these moments ... pretend his lack of energy to cope with the expectations of the holidays didn't exist at all, until his enthusiasm somehow did kick in.

On this particular day though his fake it until you make it method also seemed pointless. He stopped caring whether or not he did anything on his overwhelming list or if his lack of participation in family events upset anyone. He was desperate to connect to the spirit of Christmas again, so desperate that he put on several layers of clothes and his heavy coat and boots, left his house and got on the bus and headed downtown.

Now Benny really didn't know exactly what he was setting out to do, but he knew he needed to do something. No he was not going to put money in the Salvation Army can or wrap a toy and put it in the Toys for Tots collection. He'd done these sorts of things in years past. They were good, and necessary, but he instinctively knew he needed something different to happen today. He was desperate! He stopped and purchased a Dominicks grocery store gift card. He had no idea what exactly would happen, where he'd go, who he'd find to offer this card to. He just knew he needed to participate in something real, something life giving.

He got off the bus in the Loop and started combing the streets praying that he'd come upon the right situation, trusting that he wasn't out there for nothing. Well, this went on for about 2 hours, Benny was getting cold so he occasionally spent some time in stores and public buildings. On any other day in the Loop he would have been sure to come across someone in need of money or food, someone spending the day in the cold trying to get what he was hoping and needing to offer--where were they?? All he saw were people moving very quickly to stay out of the cold and to accomplish the missions they were on.

It may sound too perfect, like a scene in a Hollywood movie, but Benny told me it was true that he was on his way home feeling particularly foolish and hoping no one would ask him where he'd been that afternoon when something did finally happen. He came out of the side entrance to a building and turned toward the bus stop when he passed a woman on the sidewalk on crutches with a cast on her leg. After Benny passed her he heard a faint, "Sir can you help me get a sandwich, some change, anything?" To my surprise Benny told me he almost didn't stop! Two hours of looking for this moment, only now he's suddenly awkward and shy realizing his own vulnerability in the moment. After an eternal second or two, Benny took a deep breath, and turned around. He nervously pulled the gift card out of his front pocket wishing now he could just give her the card and keep moving, but what he was holding required conversation.

The words fell out of his mouth, "I don't have any change, but you can take this if you want, it's got $20 on it, if you can get to a Dominicks from here."
The woman laughed, "You're joking, for real? This has got money on it?
"Yes."
"And I don't need to show them ID or anything?"
"Nope just give it to them at the check out." Benny told her.
"For real?" she asked again.
"You know where you can find a Dominicks?"
"Well yes, I do, I can get to one thanks."

Benny smiled a smile of relief at the woman, glad she finally believed him and he turned and walked toward the bus stop. He watched her get on a different bus with the change others' had given her. He knew he probably would never see her again. He wasn't forging an ongoing relationship with this individual, but his relationship with the universe had changed somehow. And the holidays seemed less pointless. Benny told me he now does some version of this ritual every December.

In Chapter 4 of Ecclesiastes, the living still have to face the disturbing reality of all the evil that is done under the sun. AnnMarie has spoken the last week or two about the importance of learning how to sit in the tension of feeling our pain and our joy, of integrating the two at the same time. Of embracing joy even in the midst of pain and the seeming pointlessness of all we do under the sun, not ignoring the pain, but seeking to find a balance. Seeking to find a faithful, even hopeful response to what we see. The author of Ecclesiastes offers as one of his responses: seeing our toil in the context of community.

Are you familiar with the bumper sticker, "Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty"? This quote was originally coined by peace activist Anne Herbert. She wrote it on a placemat in a restaurant back in the early 80's and the ripples began of a movement that has had far reaching effects.

A random act of kindness is a selfless act performed by a person or persons wishing to either assist or cheer up an individual. They can be either spontaneous or planned in advance.
Some examples of very simple random acts might be:
• giving another driver your parking space when you got there first
• snow shoveling out your parking spot and the car behind yours
• bringing your co-worker a cup of coffee in the morning just the way they like it
• placing a coin in an expired parking meter
• saying hello to people you pass on the street
• complimenting a stranger about something they're wearing, maybe even during that awkward moment in an elevator.

Some of these are related to money when we have it to offer, but some require no financial abundance. This is really about how we move about in the world, as people and especially as people of faith. Consciously and faithfully choosing movement that helps to foster an environment of meaning in what can often appear a meaningless world.

Random acts of kindness are not random because they lack intention, but because they are not based on the obligations of a previously established relationship. Because of this, they encourage more belief in the possibility of future relationship and a communal sense of being in the world. They have the simple yet awesome power to break through a sense of aloneness and isolation.

If you Google Random Acts of Kindness on the internet you will find that there is a network of people from many different walks of life reclaiming communal meaning in their daily lives by sharing their own experiences of this concept. You can find example after example of acts people have thought of that have had an impact. People share acts they have done as well as when they have experienced someone offering them a random act of kindness.

When I find myself discouraged and believe we are losing the good fight, that all there is is bad news out there, futile chasing after of wind in the face of overwhelming oppression, suffering and pointlessness in the world, I find hope in the sharing found among people in these networks. These people are seeking to find creative simple ways to embrace community and set a greater sense of community in motion.

Something significant about Benny's story is that it was about more than a charitable act performed by someone who remained isolated from the person he was helping. Benny went out that day because he knew he needed something too. His choice required him to be active in finding this connection, it required him to then talk to someone, to be vulnerable in some way, and to trust the Spirit to lead him to this encounter.

He was reclaiming something he'd lost. His response to meaninglessness was to seek a sense of community.

Community happens not when we wring our hands and lament its absence, but when individuals dare to talk to each other, dare to care about each others' days. And yes, dare to risk being considered foolish.

The world is transformed when we seek to do kindness. We are transformed when we seek to do kindness, when we risk being kind in what is often an unkind world. The author of Ecclesiastes has found some respite from the demoralizing effects of the oppression and seeming pointlessness he observes around him in the idea of the two and the strength of a three fold chord. Connecting and joining in community and intimate relationship.

Jesus states, "Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them."(Matthew 18:20) Experiencing the presence of Christ in our lives is integrally related to gathering in community and moving about in the world with a sense of community. Christ's spirit is found in the 2 and the 3.

Have you experienced a random act of kindness this week? Have you performed one? In John 10:10 Jesus states, "I came that you might have life and have it abundantly." Let's consider how such acts of kindness can truly have an impact on our communal sense of the abundant life we share together and how we can be visible evidence and offerers of this abundance.

If greater community is not the result of the toil we do under the sun each day then yes, it is ultimately vanity. Only in community do work and reward find an integral connection. Only in community do pain and joy find the same. And only community gives us true rest and support from our toil.

As we collect our offering I invite you to consider what act of kindness you might offer this week to the greater community we inhabit. I invite you in your spirit to place that act in the basket as we dedicate our offerings to God.

GFest - gayWise LGBT Art Festival - in London - Nov 2008

GFest - gayWise LGBT Art Festival - in London - Nov 2008 - We are now accepting submissions online on the GFest website (link above & below).

For submission forms you can directly go to :

Please click here to submit Short Films

Please click here to submit Visual Art works

Please click here to submit your Performance pieces

We will be grateful if you can forward this email amongst interested networks & other Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender artists/ Performers & Filmmakers that you know.

Look forward to seeing you at GFest 08 & Many thanks.

Wise Thoughts . gayWise Team

www.wisethoughts.org / www.gaywisefestival.org.uk

Wood Green Central Library, 2nd Floor, High Road, Wood Green, London N22 6XD

Tel: 020 8889 9555 Email: info@wisethoughts.org

Company Reg. No.: 3758786 Charity Reg. No.: 1077616

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Patrons: Baroness Prashar CBE, Lord Dholakia OBE, Lord Patel, Baroness Massey, Jon Snow, Baroness Flather, Stephen Twigg

Eat, Drink, and Be Merry

This is a sermon from June 1, 2008. The text is Ecclesiastes 2:18 – 3:22.

We are continuing our reading and examination of Ecclesiastes that we started last week. The first chapter and a half led me to talk about Feeling Before Healing – that it is important for us to stand in the pain of whatever, face it, and take care of it. We need to embrace our pain and love it because it is part of who we are. All of that is still what I believe.

This week, in the reading, there is still pain and frustration evident in the words of the character of Solomon. He has come to a new place – a new decision about how to deal with it all. He says that the best thing to do, and what God has given us to do, is to eat, drink, and enjoy your work. Some translations say, “Eat, drink, and be merry.” We are to nourish ourselves, and enjoy our toil. That’s what I want to talk about first. Second, I want to talk briefly about the poem at the beginning of chapter 3 … For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven. Third, I want to talk about this being June – Pride month.

It is important to me that we not diminish this teaching of “eat, drink, and be merry,” by creating an either/or scenario – EITHER we feel our pain OR we eat, drink, and be merry. Instead I believe this is a both/and teaching. We need to feel our pain while we nourish ourselves and enjoy what it is we have to do in this life. That’s the challenge – feeling the pain, acknowledging the frustration and anger, nourishing ourselves, and enjoying life. When Philippians 4 teaches us to, “Rejoice in the Lord always,” I believe it is repeating this lesson. Can it be done?

Can we get to that place of overarching joy or happiness or satisfaction or whatever it may be, while we are suffering some kind of pain, sorrow, frustration, or anger? Can we totally live in the moment? What does it take to do this? Isn’t this what almost every self-help book claims to have the secret to? I am not making that kind of claim. I am saying that I believe it is possible to live such a life. I think that Jesus is one of the known teachers who accomplished this kind of life. And I believe that the character of Solomon is striving for this kind of balance, wisdom, and harmony. I am also saying that I am willing to struggle with you through this book to see if we can find points of balance, wisdom, and harmony for ourselves – both individually and as a community.

So, what might it take to live integrated without our joy and our pain – with being contented and yet being frustrated? Usually we put these emotions at opposite ends of each other. We chart or rate how we feel on a scale of happy to sad or content with discontent. How does what Ecclesiastes is suggesting change that paradigm? How does it shift our expectations?

Maybe there are multiple scales. There might be an overarching scale or a foundation and then offshoot scales like job, relationship, nuclear family, alone time … stuff like that. Is one overlaid on top of another and which ever feels strongest is how we end up feeling? Or maybe we have a default scale that overrides the others unless one of the others breaks or is extremely intense. Are these linear scales or are the cyclical?

I don’t know. There are lots of theories out there. Tons of theories. I favor cyclical theories over linear ones, but I don’t know. I think we can examine these things and expound on them for as long as we have breath and while there may be some benefit to be had from such exercises, I think mostly they are just exercises. Ecclesiastes is saying, “Things are not right! There are a lot of things that I can’t control and it ticks me off! The best that I can do is to find work that I enjoy and do it, eat, and drink.”

I want you all to know that I have found work that I enjoy. Being your interim pastor fills my heart with good things. I want to walk this journey of discernment with you. Not all of us are fortunate to have work that we like. Sometimes we have to make the best of a situation and find something fulfilling – some work that maybe our capitalist society would call a hobby – and enjoy ourselves there. I don’t believe we can count on the analysis or the understanding of how it works or why it is thus and such. We need to simply live it and feel it and breathe it.

It is difficult to hold on to your pain and hold on to your joy at the same time. We tend to feel guilty if we experience joy while we are in a painful situation. The truth is, I think, that we need to breathe, and joy and happiness give us breathing room. There are people who live their lives bitter and angry. Some of them don’t even know that at their core they have a pain that has festered into bitterness. These things come out in all sorts of ways, but if they don’t come out intentionally then they are just festering. The character of Solomon, through holy Wisdom, is intentionally speaking out what is causing him pain and working on how to live in a way that is pleasing to God. Verses 24 and 25 say, “There is nothing better for mortals than to eat, drink, and find enjoyment in their toil. This, also, I saw, is from the hand of God; for apart from God who can eat or who can have enjoyment?”

Here is a poem that has meant a lot to me over the years. It was written by a woman named Oriah.

“The Invitation.”

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts’ longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

I doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

I’m going to let that stand on its own and move on to the last two things I want to touch on briefly – “For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven,” and Pride month.

For years I held this poetic section of Ecclesiastes about there being a time for everything close to my heart. It was the way that I made sense of life. If there was one thing in the Bible that I could count on, it was this poem. Then one day I was talking to a friend about this and she kind of burst my bubble. She said something like, “I don’t think there is ever a time for a woman or a child to be raped, or for people to starve. I think there are lots of things there isn’t a time for.” Well crud, I thought. She’s right. I wanted some kind of formula, and I wasn’t going to have one. That was about three years ago, and I still don’t have a formula. I’m ok with that now. This poem does offer a lot of latitude in the way we can perceive things though. It isn’t the formula that I once thought it to be, but it is a good way to frame many many ways of being and thinking. It’s a beautiful poem that gives us permission to be fully ourselves – to dance and to mourn; to keep and to throw away; to speak and to be silent; to love and to hate – and the list goes on.

There is another way to consider this poem. What if this poem isn’t about saying that to everything there is a “right time” … but instead maybe it is acknowledging that all these things do exist and have their time, even if they take it by force. We have to divorce ourselves from the popular song, Turn, Turn, Turn to see it this way. The emphasis in the Pete Seger song is for world peace; for an end to war. But right in the poem there says that there is a time for war. What if this poem is only pointing out that all these things co-exist, and no value is being placed on any of these things? While it is true that verse 11 says, “God has made everything suitable for its time,” I have to wonder if that is truly the value the author believes or if it is a way to try to make sense of his world. In other worlds, the author, like myself a few years ago, wanted something to hang on to … a formula. The idea that God made everything suitable is quickly followed by more talk of justice and wickedness not being in their proper or expected places, and that we mortals should just try to find some enjoyment in our lives.

Finally, it is Pride Month here in Chicagoland. What is it to be proud? What is it to be queer? We each have our definitions. Mostly I want to encourage everyone to think about what makes you proud and what makes you queer; whoever you are, even if you are in the majority regarding your sexual orientation or gender identity.

Regarding Ecclesiastes and queerness I want to say this – what the author of this book does is turn the conventional wisdom of his time on its head. The author is constantly saying that what they thought they knew no longer makes sense. As queer people of faith – and I count heterosexual gender normative allies in the queer mix – we turn the conventional wisdom of our time on its head too. There are many who say that we can’t possible be children of The Holy, and yet we can testify how The Holy is living and breathing in wonderful positive ways through us. Even if the only testimony that we can muster right now is that we still have our community of Grace Baptist Church that, I believe, is a powerful testimony.

There are other ways that Ecclesiastes speaks to queerness, and over the next few weeks they will come up. But for this week let us remember that it isn’t the analysis alone that helps us become integrated. This week let’s live intentionally at the intersections of our lives. Let’s try to eat, drink, and enjoy what we do. Let’s be proud of who we are and above all let’s remember that we, like the character of Solomon, turn conventional wisdom on its head. We embody the truth of The Holy.