Making Changes

Texts: Psalm 4 & The Gospel of John 20:30 – 21:14

It's been two weeks since the resurrection. The shock of Jesus being alive is still rippling through the various groups of his followers. Jesus is still making appearances. This is a time of transition for the disciples. They are shifting from being with him in person to being with him in spirit. Jesus helps them out by showing up periodically.

This has to be an incredibly stressful time for them. I bet it's easy for them to think that maybe they are making this up. And then there he is again, making them breakfast, eating with them or showing up as they walk down the road.

Remember that the torture and execution of Jesus was traumatic for his followers. They had put all their hope in this man to overturn their political and religious systems. All their hopes were dashed by when he was murdered. They were confused about how this could happen to him and scared for their own lives.

The resurrection was a trauma in its own way, too. Sure it was a relief, but it was also a shock. Jesus was resurrected; that on its own is pretty weird. Along with being resurrected, he wasn't exactly as he was before. Over and over as he appeared to them, they had a hard time recognizing him.

There were so many changes all at once.

Jesus encouraged them and admonished them. He reminded them of what they were supposed to do and he gave them the skills to do it. It seems to me that Jesus kept appearing in order to help his followers become stronger and more sure of what they knew to be true. Jesus didn't want his followers to be quivering before him.

We are not to quiver before God. We are not to quiver in fear in the presence of Jesus. Quivering in excitement is a different thing altogether. Quivering in joy ... I'm in favor of, but not quivering in fear. When we come before the One Who Loves Us, we are to be confident of that love. We see this confidence in Psalm 4. The psalmist is not only confident, he is bold.

"Answer me when I call." There's nothing quivering about that as an opening line to a prayer. "Answer me when I call." The psalmist follows this opening with why they can be confident and bold. "You gave room to me when I was in distress." According to one commentator this can be understood to mean, "You widened the path for me when things got narrow."

After Jesus' execution, the disciples were in a narrow place. Jesus gave them room. There are times that we are in a narrow place. Jesus gives us room. Jesus broadens our understanding of what's possible. Jesus broadens our strength. Jesus gives us room to hope. We don't have to beg. When the psalmist says, "Be gracious to me and hear my prayer," this is not begging. This psalmist does not mumble. They know what their relationship is with God. They are confident to come before God. In that confidence, they state what they need, thank God for what has been given, and encourage those listening to be put their trust in God as well.

The psalm ends with praise and a declaration of the psalmist being able to relax. "I will lie down and sleep in peace; for you alone, O Lord, make me lie down in safety."

My experience is that this is easier said than done ... to say your prayer in confidence and then let it go and relax. Am I alone in this being hard? Can everyone else just do that?

Being confident in our relationship with our Divine Beloved, I think, is incredibly important, especially when we are going through changes. The psalmist instructs us that when we are disturbed we are to not sin, but we should ponder what disturbs us on our beds and be silent. The instruction to "not sin" is countered with the instruction to ponder and be silent. This makes it sound like in this instance of being disturbed, that being busy and doing a lot of talking is sin. Instead we are to ponder and be silent; to offer right sacrifices and trust God. So we aren't to be entirely idle, but we also should not be in a flurry of activity.

This reminds me of Psalm 46:10 which says, "Be still and know that I am God."

It also reminds me of the story of Elijah in 2 Kings, chapter 19:9 – 13:

Then the word of the Lord came to Elijah, saying, "What are you doing here, Elijah?" He answered, "I have been very zealous for the Lord, the God of hosts; for the Israelites have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword. I alone am left, and they are seeking my life, to take it away." The voice said, "Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by." Now there was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. Then there came a voice to him that said, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

The "sound of sheer silence." Some translations say, "after the fire there was a still small voice." It takes trust and confidence to be still and to listen for the sound of sheer silence, especially when we are in the midst of changes.

In the middle of being still and listening for the silence that is the voice of our Divine Beloved, often other voices break through - voices from our past or our own voice - which tell us to get busy figuring things out or that God is not going to answer. They tell us that we are not good enough, smart enough, discerning enough. They remind us of our past mistakes. But, we need to remind ourselves that God widens the path when things get narrow.

I am not saying that we should let everything be done by miracles and that we have no responsibility. Jesus commissioned his disciples to do things - to heal and to preach hope and love; to feed the hungry; to clothe the naked; and so on. We are to work to see the Realm of Heaven realized on earth. But for those times of change when nothing makes sense and everything is chaotic, sometimes the best thing to do is call out to God with confidence saying, "Answer me when I call" and then to listen for that answer.

Cultivate a confidence in your relationship with God. It's hard to be still, state your request, be silent and to hear God in the silence if you aren't sure that God will show up. But, it's difficult to experience God showing up if you don't stop. Sometimes I find it helps to read Psalm 4 verse 1 aloud. Read it over and over if you want to. Read it aloud and then shut up and listen. Build up your confidence that you have the kind of relationship with God where you can say what you need and then rest.

I believe when we do this we will need our rest because often the answer we get is to do something. Rest when you can.

The psalmist, the disciples and Elijah all had to believe in their God and in their relationship to their God. They had to trust that they were loved and that they knew how to love. They had to take risks ... some of those risks involved doing something and some of those risks involved believing deeply and listening. We are no different. When we are in the midst of change, as they were, we must dig deep into our souls and remember what we know to be true. We must stop and believe deeply. We must listen. Then the silence will carry the voice of the One Who Loves Us. Jesus said something similar. He said, "Let you who have ears, hear what the spirit of God is saying."

The disciples had to make the change from following Jesus in person to following him in spirit. That was a hard change to make. It had to feel chaotic and unnerving. But they did it. They learned how to hear the resurrected voice of Jesus.

When the chaos is twirling around you and change is inevitable, be still ... ponder these things on your bed ... fear not. Remember that you can come boldly before God and say, "Answer me when I call." And then listen and rest.

Weathering the Storm (Response to NOM Gathering Storm)

Maybe if we promote positive role models, of which there are many, children will stop killing themselves if they are bullied about supposedly being gay. Maybe ... even the bullying will stop.



h/t to Alexandra Billings

Earth Day meditation

"Then the Lord God formed the human from the dust of the ground, and breathed into the human's nostrils the breath of life; and the human became a living being." Gen 2:7



Earth my body, water my blood.
Air my breath, and fire my spirit.
Descants: Christian Williamson

I am born of the elements.
I am born of the elements.
I am born of the elements.
I am born of the elements.

Earth my body soil and sand,
Make me strong heart and hand.
Water my blood flowing strong,
Lead me with your healing song.
Air my breath blowing true,
Let my life take flight in you.
Fire my spirit burning bright,

Lead from darkness into light.
I am born of the elements.
I am born of the elements.
I am born of the elements.
I am born of the elements.

Connected

Texts: Romans 8:24 - 39
and
this poem by Mechtild of Magdeburg

Effortlessly,
Love flows from God into man,
Like a bird
Who rivers the air
Without moving her wings.
Thus we move in His world,
One in body and soul,
Though outwardly separate in form.
As the Source strikes the note,
Humanity sings -
The Holy Spirit is our harpist,
And all strings
Which are touched by Love
Must sound.

According to Paul, nothing can separate us from the love of our Divine Beloved! According to Mechtild of Magdeburg, "we are one in body and soul, though outwardly separate in form."

We are connected. No matter what happens, when it happens, or how it happens, we remain connected. It is love that is the connecting force.

No matter if our bodies are in the same room, the same state, or the same country – if we have love for one another, we are always connected.

Paul tells us that Death cannot sever the connection between us and our Divine Beloved. He also tells us that Life cannot sever that connection. Furthermore, nothing that may happen between life and death can create a disconnect between us and our Sacred Creator. A lot of things may happen. There may be times when it looks like something or someone has the power to cut us off from the One Who is our Love, but I am convinced with Paul that neither height nor depth ... nor anything else in creation ... can separate us from the Love of God. I am absolutely and utterly convinced.

I am not convinced because Paul said so. I am also not convinced because Mechtild believes that God's love is like a bird who rivers through the air, although that image gives me shivers. I am convinced because like Paul and like Mechtild, I have experiences of the Holy intersecting with my life. I have experiences that sometimes don't make sense unless I attribute them to that which is transcendent. I believe with all of my being that I am joined with the Sacred – not joined like an addition was built onto my soul and God lives there, but joined in the way that you join eggs and flour and milk ... and you end up something delicious to eat. We are joined completely.

Not only are we joined with our Divine Beloved and joined with each other, but we are also joined with creation. With creation, we groan. A little before the selection read earlier, Paul writes that although we are suffering now, glory will be revealed eventually. He writes, "We know that the whole creation has been groaning in labor pains until now; and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly while we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies."

All creation groans for redemption. We groan even though we have hope. We groan even in our patience. We groan because we do not yet see our redemption. And Spirit groans with us and through us.

At the time of this writing there was an expectation that Jesus would be right back to wrap this thing up. Now, all this time later, we look for the essence of truth in these writings. What does it mean to be redeemed? The kind of redemption that Paul and his community were waiting for has not happened yet. Is Jesus coming back literally and physically? Will the physical bodies of those who have already died take shape again? Will we go to a place called heaven and worship in a jeweled city with angels flying around? Will the lion and lamb both eat grass side by side? We just don't know. And if Jesus were here to ask, I think he would probably say something like he did to his followers then ... "What is it to you?" or "Only the Father knows." Then we would be instructed to "stay awake," to "be the servant of all," or simply to "love one another as I have loved you."

This question of redemption seems really important to me though, what with the creation, us, and Spirit all groaning for it. Redeem has many meanings, such as: to buy back. This is a common definition for Christian redemption ... Jesus having bought our salvation with his sacrifice. But there are other meanings to the word redeem; meanings that encompass more than going to heaven someday. I think that if all creation is groaning – the earth, the animals, the plants – that maybe redemption is more complicated. Paul talks about all of creation being set free from bondage. So maybe some of the other definitions of redeem apply, like: to change for the better, or to repair and restore.

It is Earth Day this Wednesday, so it seems fitting to take a moment to think about all creation groaning for redemption in terms of repairing and restoring. We humans have trashed this place. Tracy Chapman and others call it the rape of the world. There's so much that needs to be repaired and restored. The earth, plants, and animals are in terrible bondage because of how we live. I took a ride on my scooter recently. I was going to ride in the country somewhere but ended up taking the Lake Michigan tour and ended up riding next to the BP tanks and oil rigs near Gary, IN. It was so sad. Most of my senses were affected – sight, sound, taste and smell. It makes sense to me that creation, other than us humans, is groaning to be repaired and restored.

What about us though? What is it about our bodies that need to be repaired and restored?

There is sickness. Those of us with a chronic illness, pain or disability know the groaning of living with something that is constantly debilitating. All bodies are of equal sacred worth and this equality needs to be restored.

There is racism. People whose bodies are various shades of brown and whose features are non-European are systemically considered less than paler bodies with thin sharp features. Black and Brown people know the groaning of living in oppression. This system needs to be repaired. All bodies are of equal sacred worth and this equality needs to be restored.

There is heterosexism. People who do not fit neatly into gender norms or whose sexual orientation is not heterosexual know the groaning of living with sideway glances and being considered by others to be immoral. All bodies are of equal sacred worth and this equality needs to be restored.

There is patriarchy. Women have been subjected to 2nd class citizenry throughout history. The bodies of women have been objects and property. Women have been and continue to be commodified by men. All bodies are of equal sacred worth and this equality needs to be restored.

There is groaning for redemption, to be sure. What of the trans-woman of colour with a chronic illness? Is she not groaning? Are we not groaning with her? We need to be because we are all connected. All creation needs to be redeemed.

I agree with Paul that "the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed." And I agree with him that nothing, not persecution or famine, not nakedness or sword, can keep us from the love of God in Christ. I disagree with Paul, however, when he says that if we hope for what we do not see, that we wait for it with patience. I am not simply waiting for the redemption. If Paul was waiting patiently for Jesus to come back so that all creation would be redeemed, he'd still be waiting. Jesus was not one to wait and we are not only called to follow his pattern but we are connected to him through love and through the power of the Holy Spirit.

I agree with Paul on something else, though. There will be peril. There will be dangers. There will be famine. There will be heights and depths and rulers and powers. None of these things, people, or places can separate us from the love of God in Christ or from each other.

We persevere in working for redemption. We repair and restore as much as we can however it is given us to do it. We remember that we are one with each other and with Christ. No matter where our individual paths take us … no matter how the church is structured ... no matter what ... we are connected.

Mechtild tells us that when we are touched in Love, we must sound because Humanity sings and the Holy Spirit is our harpist. The strength of Love reaches beyond our bodies and our senses. I have experienced being oppressed. I have experienced the stories of others who are oppressed. You have experienced oppression and have heard the stories of others who are oppressed. And somehow through all the perils and hunger, in spite of the rulers and powers, we are together today loving each other in the name of all that is Holy and Sacred.

Nothing ... nothing can separate us from Love.

I am captivated

My friend and congregant died a few weeks ago. He was quite sick. AIDS, cancer, blood clots, paranoia ... it was a tough road that he walked, but he did so with honor, dignity and laughter.

When he died I met his family and his powers of attorney at his apartment. He lived at Chicago House in an efficiency. Amoung his most treasured possessions were his tv, vcr/dvd player, movies, and his puppet stage. Somehow, I ended up with all of those.

When he was alive, somehow I missed his video of Judy in Concert sitting on his shelf. How I wish we had watched this together. Well, I guess we are because I do believe in life eternal. But oh how I miss his laughter and his tears. He allowed himself to do both easily.

We didn't know that each of us had the cd of Judy at Carnegie Hall. Now I have 2 copies.

I am completely smitten, once again, with this amazing woman. Now that I am older I appreciate her beauty and talent even more.

And I love love love when she throws the microphone cord over her shoulder, don't you, Tom?

TORI AMOS live GOD

Deciding which version of this to post was difficult. I chose this one because I was feeling the guitar.

I've included links to a couple of other versions ... they are really worth watching.





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kk1mu7wA_SM&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PHUn4TLKM0&feature=related

Love Yourself

1. Deut 6:4 – 9 Love God
2. Leviticus 19: 9 – 19 Love Neighbor/Self
3. Matthew 22: 34 – 40 (to Pharisee) Love God/Neighbor/Self
4. Mark 12: 28 – 34 (to Scribe) Love God/Neighbor/Self
5. Luke 10: 25 – 28 (to Lawyer) Love God/Neighbor/Self
6. Romans 13: 8 – 10 Love Neighbor/Self
7. Galatians 5: 7 – 15 Love Neighbor/Self
8. James 2: 1 – 9 Love Neighbor/Self

Deuteronomy and Leviticus are just the beginning. I have 6 more scriptures that repeat the main theme of loving your neighbor as yourself. In all three of the canonical gospels it is the same story, but with different details. In Matthew, Jesus is talking to a Pharisee. In Mark, he is talking to a Scribe. In Luke, he is talking to a Lawyer. These three passages, Matthew, Mark, and Luke, each use what Jesus calls the great commandments – to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself. He chose these commandments out of all the laws.

The next three scripture passages only include the second commandment – to love your neighbor as yourself. These passages are Romans 13:8, Galatians 5: 7 – 15, and James 2: 1 – 9.
Most often when these passages are used it is to talk about loving God or loving neighbor. That is what is being taught by the original writers. Today I want to talk about Loving our Self. The assumption in these passages is that you love yourself. The love that is being referred to here means to have affection for and to care for.

It is taken for granted in these scriptures that we have affection for ourselves and that we care for ourselves. From that basis, we are to understand how to take care for our neighbor.
Taking this love of self for granted is a dangerous thing. We are taught to be critical of ourselves as well as of others. We are marketed to that we are not good looking enough, smart enough, adventurous enough, healthy enough, tall enough, rich enough, buff enough, thin enough, man enough, woman enough … and the list goes on. Magazines, billboards, TV commercials, movies, books all let us know that we aren't what or who we should be.

What does it mean to care for ourselves? Do we take time to communicate with our Divine Beloved? Do we take time to eat well? Do we hold ourselves when we are sad or hurt? Do we forgive ourselves when we make mistakes?

Loving yourself is different than having pride. I remember a conversation I had with a pastor of mine a long time ago. I was beating myself up for some mistake I made. I just couldn't let go of the fact that I did whatever horrendous thing I did. It probably wasn't that horrendous, but I was very critical of myself. If my walk didn't match my talk I repented in no uncertain terms. So I turned to my pastor to help me through this and she told me that I needed to repent. Now, I had already repented of my action. What she wanted me to do was to repent from not letting go. She told me that self hate was just as much a sin of pride and ego as arrogance because in both cases the subject was entirely about me.

Here's a lesson we can learn from David. It is in 2 Samuel, the 12th chapter. One of the stories of David really messing up is when he had sex with Uriah's wife, Bathsheba, and then he sent Uriah out to the front of the battle so that he would be killed. Bathsheba became pregnant from that encounter and gave birth. The story continues …

The Lord struck the child that Uriah's wife bore to David, and it became very ill. David therefore pleaded with God for the child; David fasted, and went in and lay all night on the ground. The elders of his house stood beside him, urging him to rise from the ground; but he would not, nor did he eat food with them. On the seventh day the child died. And the servants of David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead; for they said, "While the child was still alive, we spoke to him, and he did not listen to us; how then can we tell him the child is dead? He may do himself some harm." But when David saw that his servants were whispering together, he perceived that the child was dead; and David said to his servants, "Is the child dead?" They said, "He is dead." Then David rose from the ground, washed, anointed himself, and changed his clothes. He went into the house of the Lord, and worshiped; he then went to his own house; and when he asked, they set food before him and he ate. Then his servants said to him, "What is this thing that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while it was alive; but when the child died, you rose and ate food." He said, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, "Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me, and the child may live.' But now he is dead; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me."

David was taking action, pleading with God to spare his baby. In this story God does not do so. But when the baby dies, the servants expect David to be so grief-stricken that he hurts himself or maybe kills himself. They are confused as to why he would want to eat now that the baby is dead. But David learned early on that you have to let go. You have to repent, which he did, you make intercession, and then you let go. David here is loving himself. He knows it was his actions that brought about this terrible consequence, and he does what he knows how to do to try to fix the situation, but when it turns out for the worst he gets up, dusts himself off, and hopefully learns from his mistake. He cares for himself by eating and anointing himself. He worships and he takes off his stinky clothes and puts on clean clothes. All that may be easier said than done, but there's a lesson in it.

What are the obstacles that keep you from loving yourself? Do your ideals not match your actions? Have you been told that you aren't worth loving? Do you not forgive yourself for making mistakes?

The question we have been asking all Lent is "how has loved changed your world?" Loving yourself will change your world. I guarantee that. It will help you to be more confident with out that nasty arrogance that false love provides. It will help you care for your soul. It will help you see through the marketing of self-hate that we are bombarded with every minute of every day. It will help you not resort to self loathing, but rather to forgive yourself. It will also help you love your neighbor. Loving yourself is the foundation of loving others. Sure we can be kind to others and sacrifice ourselves for others, but without love we are told it is worth nothing. We are to share ourselves with others from a place of love, and that love begins with loving ourselves.

What are the obstacles that keep you from loving yourself? Can you name them or are they embedded and difficult to name?

How do these obstacles keep us from loving our neighbor?

How do these obstacles keep us from loving our Divine Beloved?

How does or how will loving yourself change your world?

How do you want to love yourself better?

Is it easier to love yourself when you are connected to your Divine Beloved?