May the strong grace, the gentle comfort, and the sure guidance of the Divine Beloved be with you.
As I begin this, it is still dark outside. The sun is just beginning to make her marks on the trees, snow, and balcony outside my sliding glass door. There are white Christmas lights bordering the door which is sealed with weatherproofing. I am grateful to be warm and drinking my masala chai, protected from the harshness of weather.
For the last couple of years I have returned to this place of intentional gratitude for being sheltered, fed, and clothed. I know that there are many more people in the world than I can imagine who have much much less than I have. Ah, you may think, but you don't have that much. No, I don't possess many things, but I do have ample food and shelter. There was a time when each night I searched for where I would sleep and each day I did not know if I would have food. Because I could not be what and who I thought I was supposed to be, I took to isolation. I hid so that I would not stick out, feel shame, and cause anyone who knew me and loved me to feel embarrassment.
As the sun exposes the misty grayness of the day, as the outline of the tree limbs become clearer, and as we move from Advent to Christmas I begin to think about the harsh conditions that Mary endured during her pregnancy and then on her pilgrimage to Joseph's hometown which ended in her giving birth. I wonder if she felt shame during her pregnancy and hid so that she did not embarrass her family or Joseph. I wonder if she had second thoughts about her calling while on the road to Bethlehem. I wonder if the long trek on a hard road with the stress of not finding lodging induced her labor. And I wonder if after she gave birth to a healthy baby boy if the blurry outlines of her understanding came into focus, if she was able to celebrate with the shepherds and the angels or if she fell asleep exhausted after feeding her newborn from her already tired body.
Mary's story is told over and over, mostly focusing on Jesus and the greatness and wonder of his birth. I love Jesus. His life, teaching, and actions guide me. But this year my thoughts wander to Mary, a woman in crisis. The story of Mary reminds me that there are many mothers whose pregnancies are criticized and who give birth in harsh conditions. This story also reminds me that there are many sons and daughters who work hard to live a life worthy of their mother's love and vision for them and in the end are bullied, accused of having wrongful motivations and of committing shameful crimes against people, the state, and God. These other stories are rarely known outside of their circle and even more rarely told.
Maybe my thoughts are wandering this way because my community of late is centered around women, some of whom are doulas, midwives, mothers, and/or educators. I hear many stories of births, raising children, hopes for children, disappointment, and strength. For most of my life, Mary being pregnant and giving birth was more theoretical and spiritual than physical. I imagined her not shouting out in pain much like we read that Jesus did not shout out in pain when he was on the cross. Today, on this eve of our celebration of the birth of our Messiah, my spirit is pulled toward Mary as a mother about to give birth and to her pain and hope.
The isolation of Mary and Joseph in a barn gives way to a crowded stable nursery, at least in most Crèche's, filled with angels, shepherds, wise men, sheep, cows, and the like. We see Mary, Joseph, and Jesus being surrounded by admirers and worshipers. Soon they will be isolated again, but for now, they have a makeshift community supporting them and giving their flagging vision some needed encouragement. They will go on, continuing their hard journey with the memory of those moments of wonder and support.
For me, now the sun is fully up. The day is still misty gray, but the trees, the snow, and the house across the way are fully in view. The hardships of my life which began because I was confused and in many different kinds of pain are lifted. I feel lucky to be on this side of my life. This Christmas Eve I feel the pull to be a witness of the mystery of hope in the midst of dire circumstances.
Many blessings to you, my reader. Consider the awe of the birthing of Jesus. I pray that you find the strength of Mary every day of your life.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
What Will You Ask?
Texts: Matthew 1:18-25 and Isaiah 7:10-16
Advent is a time of remembering the birth of Jesus as well as anticipating his return. We have been waiting for Jesus for a long time. If Jesus had returned when it was assumed he would, none of us would have been born. The early church was disappointed and eventually had to decide how to cope with the fact that they were still alive on earth, still dealing with poverty and illness, and still being subjected to political and religious abuses of power.
This delayed Parousia disappoints us as well. After all this time we still face poverty, illness, and abuses of power. It is difficult to know what to believe about the legend of Jesus’ birth as well as what it means that he will return. Will he return? When? What will it look like? How will it feel? Will we know it when it happens?
According to the gospel stories Jesus will return like a thief in the night and yet it will be as apparent as lightening flashing from the east to the west. We are to wait for it but not sit and wait ... we are to keep busy continuing the ministry of Jesus.
Yearly we remind ourselves about Christ’s humble beginnings and we celebrate his birth which foretold a shift in power. We talk about Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love. We start our new church year and begin again actively waiting for Christ’s return.
Each year Advent and the celebration of Christmas mean more to me than the year before. In spite of the fact that Jesus has yet to return and that we are still fighting the same old battles for equality, I am comforted remembering that Jesus was born under trying circumstances for the purpose of freeing all people and inspired at the hope that of the Parousia. When I hear the story of Mary and Joseph making their trek to Bethlehem; the angels making their declarations; the shepherds hearing and believing the tidings of great joy; and the Magi following a star to find a baby king, I think to myself, “Yes, I can continue.” It doesn’t seem rational or logical, but in my spirit/gut I am grateful to be a part of this story.
That doesn’t mean that I’m not disappointed or confused. In our Isaiah text we hear the prophet railing against Ahaz because he refuses to ask God for a sign. Ahaz claims that he does not want to put God to the test, however Isaiah believes this is a cover up. I have to say that in this vignette I identify with Ahaz. After years of asking God for help, believing God to change things, and waiting for God to return I’m not always sure I have the strength for more disappointment. It is hard to take the risk to ask for one more thing when so many other requests feel ignored or denied.
And yet, the story of Jesus’ birth rings in my soul. This is the sign that we cling to. Our souls can nestle into the certainty of a babe born to a young woman even while we wait for the Parousia – the second coming – the eventual and final shift of power toward true liberty and wholeness for all. Not wholeness for which we lobby, either to our God or to our political leaders; not liberty for those born in a certain country or of a certain economic status; but wholeness and liberty without question or compromise.
In the Isaiah scripture, the prophet speaks a word of God to Ahaz saying, “Don’t be afraid. Yes it looks like your enemy will devour you but quiet your heart. I won’t let this happen. Ask a sign of me so that you can be certain.” But Ahaz will not ask for a sign. Ahaz is too afraid and cannot quiet his heart enough to believe these words. Isaiah says that Ahaz wearies God.
Let us not weary God. As we consider the birth of Jesus to an unwed mother, the birth of a babe that will lead his people through healing and feeding rather than violence, let us ask God for a sign. Let us ask God to help us believe that we can make it through the next conflict, whatever it is.
What will you ask? Can you quiet your heart to believe the words of the prophet? And when the results we are looking for don’t come the way we had hoped or in the timing that seemed right, can we still believe, quiet our hearts, and ask for a sign? This faith thing takes risks. It also takes not knowing what is going to happen, how it may happen, or when it may happen. It takes quieting our hearts when it looks like we will be devoured.
Friends, I adjure you to look to the comfort and hope of Jesus born to Mary and Joseph, and to look to the strength of Mary and Joseph. We wait and sometimes we are disappointed with the results. We wait and sometimes the waiting is long. We wait though, for a promise that is at the intersection of this earthly existence and transcendence. We wait for a mystery. We wait together, actively, continuing the ministry of Jesus.
Advent is a time of remembering the birth of Jesus as well as anticipating his return. We have been waiting for Jesus for a long time. If Jesus had returned when it was assumed he would, none of us would have been born. The early church was disappointed and eventually had to decide how to cope with the fact that they were still alive on earth, still dealing with poverty and illness, and still being subjected to political and religious abuses of power.
This delayed Parousia disappoints us as well. After all this time we still face poverty, illness, and abuses of power. It is difficult to know what to believe about the legend of Jesus’ birth as well as what it means that he will return. Will he return? When? What will it look like? How will it feel? Will we know it when it happens?
According to the gospel stories Jesus will return like a thief in the night and yet it will be as apparent as lightening flashing from the east to the west. We are to wait for it but not sit and wait ... we are to keep busy continuing the ministry of Jesus.
Yearly we remind ourselves about Christ’s humble beginnings and we celebrate his birth which foretold a shift in power. We talk about Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love. We start our new church year and begin again actively waiting for Christ’s return.
Each year Advent and the celebration of Christmas mean more to me than the year before. In spite of the fact that Jesus has yet to return and that we are still fighting the same old battles for equality, I am comforted remembering that Jesus was born under trying circumstances for the purpose of freeing all people and inspired at the hope that of the Parousia. When I hear the story of Mary and Joseph making their trek to Bethlehem; the angels making their declarations; the shepherds hearing and believing the tidings of great joy; and the Magi following a star to find a baby king, I think to myself, “Yes, I can continue.” It doesn’t seem rational or logical, but in my spirit/gut I am grateful to be a part of this story.
That doesn’t mean that I’m not disappointed or confused. In our Isaiah text we hear the prophet railing against Ahaz because he refuses to ask God for a sign. Ahaz claims that he does not want to put God to the test, however Isaiah believes this is a cover up. I have to say that in this vignette I identify with Ahaz. After years of asking God for help, believing God to change things, and waiting for God to return I’m not always sure I have the strength for more disappointment. It is hard to take the risk to ask for one more thing when so many other requests feel ignored or denied.
And yet, the story of Jesus’ birth rings in my soul. This is the sign that we cling to. Our souls can nestle into the certainty of a babe born to a young woman even while we wait for the Parousia – the second coming – the eventual and final shift of power toward true liberty and wholeness for all. Not wholeness for which we lobby, either to our God or to our political leaders; not liberty for those born in a certain country or of a certain economic status; but wholeness and liberty without question or compromise.
In the Isaiah scripture, the prophet speaks a word of God to Ahaz saying, “Don’t be afraid. Yes it looks like your enemy will devour you but quiet your heart. I won’t let this happen. Ask a sign of me so that you can be certain.” But Ahaz will not ask for a sign. Ahaz is too afraid and cannot quiet his heart enough to believe these words. Isaiah says that Ahaz wearies God.
Let us not weary God. As we consider the birth of Jesus to an unwed mother, the birth of a babe that will lead his people through healing and feeding rather than violence, let us ask God for a sign. Let us ask God to help us believe that we can make it through the next conflict, whatever it is.
What will you ask? Can you quiet your heart to believe the words of the prophet? And when the results we are looking for don’t come the way we had hoped or in the timing that seemed right, can we still believe, quiet our hearts, and ask for a sign? This faith thing takes risks. It also takes not knowing what is going to happen, how it may happen, or when it may happen. It takes quieting our hearts when it looks like we will be devoured.
Friends, I adjure you to look to the comfort and hope of Jesus born to Mary and Joseph, and to look to the strength of Mary and Joseph. We wait and sometimes we are disappointed with the results. We wait and sometimes the waiting is long. We wait though, for a promise that is at the intersection of this earthly existence and transcendence. We wait for a mystery. We wait together, actively, continuing the ministry of Jesus.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Advent Joy
This is the third Sunday of Advent. Today we celebrate Joy ... the joy of Christ's upcoming birth; the joy of our hearts being open (like the shepherd's hearts) to this miracle of God incarnate; and the joy of these long nights soon becoming shorter.
The advent wreath reminds us that there is still green and vibrant life even in this harsh season. We who live in winters of snow and cold need to have these visible reminders. When our evergreen tree friends are blanketed in snowy-whiteness, they are nevertheless vibrant and bearers of hope for us toward spring.
The circle of the wreath reminds us that the seasons are cyclical: the seasons of the world, the seasons of the church, and the seasons of our lives. As one moment dies another is born.
This week we look toward the joy of the birth of the next moment - the birth of Jesus who will be called Christ and Saviour. As we bundle up with coats, scarves, mittens and boots we can set our minds to the joy of spring. As Mary was in the last trimester of her pregnancy I imagine she sometimes set her mind on the joy of the birth of her child, praying for a healthy baby that she would love with all her heart.
In these times of economic, political, and holiday stress, on what can you set your joy? Can you recall a message that you heard, like the shepherds heard the message of the angel and the praise of the host of heaven? Can you set your sights on that message and breathe through the stresses you encounter?
The birth of Christ is, amoung other things, a call for us to hope beyond reason and to praise beyond measure. This hope and praise can lead us to a joy that lives within and in spite of our circumstances.
This week we are called to encounter the shepherd's heart in our own heart and to lift our voices to sing praises of joy with the heavenly host.
Wednesday, December 01, 2010
World AIDS Day
Today while in the chapel during the noontime World AIDS Day prayer gathering I spent a lot of time thinking about and praying about consciousness. I called forth from within me a consciousness about the pandemic of AIDS and I spiritually sought out others who are conscious. I also prayed that the many who are not conscious will become so. I shaped my consciousness like velcro - sticky and seeking its mate.
What does it mean to be conscious and how does this have anything to do with how I understand my Divine Beloved or Jesus?
Consciousness has to do with being awake. There are many teachings in the Bible that have to do with not falling asleep or remaining alert. As I consider these teachings it occurs to me that altogether too often it is easy to fall asleep or to slip into an unconscious or subconscious state. It takes work to stay awake ... alert ... conscious. It takes diligence and some amount of skill. I am not that best at this and fall asleep all too often.
Today as I sat as still as I can make myself (I am a wiggler) and as I focused on those loved ones who had AIDS and have died as well as those who have AIDS and are still fighting, it seemed clear to me that much of the work that I do has to do with waking people up and with connecting to those who are conscious. As I tell stories, my own and those of others, I am connecting to the consciousness of those listening and trying to wake up those who are still asleep.
Our collaborative energy, awareness, and voices will bring about change. We can't keep hitting the snooze button, we must all wake up, work together, and love each other.
What does it mean to be conscious and how does this have anything to do with how I understand my Divine Beloved or Jesus?
Consciousness has to do with being awake. There are many teachings in the Bible that have to do with not falling asleep or remaining alert. As I consider these teachings it occurs to me that altogether too often it is easy to fall asleep or to slip into an unconscious or subconscious state. It takes work to stay awake ... alert ... conscious. It takes diligence and some amount of skill. I am not that best at this and fall asleep all too often.
Today as I sat as still as I can make myself (I am a wiggler) and as I focused on those loved ones who had AIDS and have died as well as those who have AIDS and are still fighting, it seemed clear to me that much of the work that I do has to do with waking people up and with connecting to those who are conscious. As I tell stories, my own and those of others, I am connecting to the consciousness of those listening and trying to wake up those who are still asleep.
Our collaborative energy, awareness, and voices will bring about change. We can't keep hitting the snooze button, we must all wake up, work together, and love each other.
AUDITIONS for Michiana Monologues 2011
Interested in performing in the 2011 Michiana Monologues - Band of Sisters? Mark your calendar with the upcoming audition dates!
* Thurs.Dec. 9th, 7pm at IUSB - 3001 Wiekamp Hall
* Friday, Dec. 10, 7 pm at IUSB, 3001 Wiekamp Hall
* Sat Dec 11th, 9:30am at 1st Congressional UCC in Elkhart, in the Marcus Darling Room, 431 South 3rd Street (corner of 3rd and Marion in downtown Elkhart)
For information about accessing Monologues to perform at the audition (and performance dates), see details on our website: www.michianamonologues.org
** Share the news; auditions are open to all women from campus and community **
AUDITIONS for Michiana Monologues 2011 – Band of Sisters
* Thurs.Dec. 9th, 7pm at IUSB - 3001 Wiekamp Hall
* Friday, Dec. 10, 7 pm at IUSB, 3001 Wiekamp Hall
* Sat Dec 11th, 9:30am at 1st Congressional UCC in Elkhart, in the Marcus Darling Room, 431 South 3rd Street (corner of 3rd and Marion in downtown Elkhart)
For information about accessing Monologues to perform at the audition (and performance dates), see details on our website: www.michianamonologues.org
** Share the news; auditions are open to all women from campus and community **
AUDITIONS for Michiana Monologues 2011 – Band of Sisters
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