Feeling Before Healing

This is the sermon from May 25, 2008. The text is Ecclesiastes 1:12 – 2:17.

We’re going to be picking away at Ecclesiastes for the next few weeks. It will be interesting to see where this takes us during Pride month. Ecclesiastes has been an important book for me during transitions in my life, and since we are in an interim phase I thought I’d pull it out again.

There are many things that I like about this book. It addresses confusion and injustice without being overly concerned about being politically correct; it contradicts itself with a self-awareness you don’t see in many other biblical writings; and it isn’t afraid of being sad and staying sad. I know that may not sound encouraging to some people, but when you’re sad – which everyone is sometimes – we don’t always want someone trying to cheer us up. Romans 12:15 teaches us to “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” So often we hear the sound of crying and immediately respond out of a desire to fix things. It’s also true though that Proverbs 17:22 says, “A merry heart does good like a medicine,” but I think that sometimes we go too quickly into dispensing the medicine. First we need a little storytelling, a little commiserating, a little solidarity in the struggle. We get some of this in our own meeting here during our prayer covenant time. It’s a powerful thing to share our struggles and our woes as well as our joys. It’s powerful to contradict ourselves in a self-aware kind of way. This is how we figure things out. This is how we come to wholeness.

The book before Ecclesiastes is the book of Proverbs. Proverbs is very invested in teaching how to be good, wise, and industrious so that you please God and have a long life. Evil, foolish, and lazy people, while they may experience some gain or joy here on earth, are promised to be scorned by God and die young. It has been purported that Solomon wrote both of these books; although now scholars are saying that he probably didn’t really write either of them. But looking at these writings side by side, imagining them being written as if by Solomon, we see a possible progression of thought. First Solomon as a young man – or maybe a middle age man – and he’s got it all figured out. He has the answers and gives instructions on how to live a good and upright life. If you follow these rules you’ll be golden. Then Solomon gets a bit older. He takes a look at life and notices that it isn’t always as easy as his instructions claim it is. He reflects on his life and comes up with different conclusions. Not only are his answers not cut and dried, but his questions aren’t even that clear. No longer are there judgments against “foolishness” or praise for “wisdom.” Instead we are told that neither foolishness nor wisdom make any difference at all. And why is that? Because “the same fate befalls all of them.” And that fate that he sees at this point is death.

It’s tempting for me to rush forward and talk about the hope that I find in this book. There are themes that are only hinted at in this beginning section. I am no different from anyone else, wanting to rush in and heal the pain or fix the problem when I should be listening to the story, feeling the pain, and learning about the problem. I will refrain from jumping ahead and I’ll attempt to let the book unfold for us … to speak for itself as much as possible.

And what it’s speaking about right now is how this person conducted research into what it means to be alive and found pointlessness and death to be its sum total. It say that he conducted research because he claims that everything he did, he did intentionally – he did keeping his wisdom – even when he was being foolish. (I make that claim too sometimes.) But let’s believe that this person actually kept their wits about them while they were taking pleasure in all that they did; amassed great wealth and freedom; oppressed those more unfortunate than himself; and ended up hating life. It’s hard to feel sorry for him when it’s put that way, isn’t it? He sounds a little spoiled. But keeping in mind that this is an experiment to learn something about the core value of living – what did he end up with? Sorrow, hopelessness, and bitterness. Can we sit with him in this? Can we learn from his experiment?

It would be an easy answer, especially for me as a preacher, to say that the reason he ended up sorrowful, hopeless, and bitter is because he had neglected God. He went off to explore wisdom and foolishness on his own, neglected his spiritual life, and only received superficial gains that did not feed his soul. While that sounds nice and religious, I think it is way too simple. After all, he did give himself to Wisdom. What is Wisdom? First, Wisdom is personified in Proverbs as a woman. Second, Wisdom is not defined as being merely smart and savvy. Proverbs says this in chapter 8:22 – 36. I’m keeping the masculine language intact bearing in mind that the voice who is speaking is the voice of the woman Wisdom.

"The Lord brought me forth as the first of his works, before his deeds of old; I was appointed from eternity, from the beginning, before the world began. When there were no oceans, I was given birth, when there were no springs abounding with water; before the mountains were settled in place, before the hills, I was given birth, before he made the earth or its fields or any of the dust of the world. I was there when he set the heavens in place, when he marked out the horizon on the face of the deep, when he established the clouds above and fixed securely the fountains of the deep, when he gave the sea its boundary so the waters would not overstep his command, and when he marked out the foundations of the earth. Then I was the craftswoman at his side. I was filled with delight day after day, rejoicing always in his presence, rejoicing in his whole world and delighting in mortals.

Now then, listen to me; blessed are those who keep my ways. Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not ignore it. Blessed are you who listen to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. For whoever finds me finds life and receives favor from the Lord. But whoever fails to find me harms himself; all who hate me love death."

That’s Wisdom. She is spiritual and holy. She describes herself in ways that are amazingly similar to the ways that Jesus describes himself, and is described by others. That the writer of Ecclesiastes says he was functioning in wisdom, and given that we are going along with the premise that the writers of these books are intended to be understood as being Solomon, tells me that we should understand who Wisdom is according to the definition of Proverbs. Solomon was not neglecting his spiritual life – he was trying to find a depth that he had lacked all his life.

His religious practice and easy answers were not enough to sustain him. He needed to find out why he was … why things were created … what was the point. What he found increased his distress. Our reading today ends with him hating life because everything is grievous and meaningless like a vapor. And that’s where we’re going to end today … feeling this loss, feeling this distress. I believe that we must feel before we can heal. We must tell our stories and face the pain. We must keep the conversation going, no matter how hard and uncomfortable it gets. That doesn’t mean we become contentious with each other trying to start fights. It means that we go deep and find the truth of who we are in this moment.

I also want to share that the book of Ecclesiastes doesn’t end here. Our reading for today ends here, but the book goes on for awhile. I am not suggesting a life of wallowing in pain, but if we don’t first deal with the reality of the moment we will not end up whole in the future. I think that’s true regarding the way our country deals with racism, classism, and heterosexism, the way our families and our faith community deal with conflict, and the way we deal with our own personal disappointments.

Grab a hold of Wisdom this week. She may not look like what you think she will, but when you find her, take hold with both hands. Then look at everything, feel everything, try everything. What happens? Okay, so maybe you can’t do all that in one week… but you can start. Mindfully move through your week and let yourself look, feel, and try. Don’t fix anything – just observe and feel. Remember that it doesn’t end here; it’s where we begin.