Happy Pride Parade 2008

In the name of Peace and Pride
On behalf of The Holy, who is our Divine Beloved
Because WE are Holy
We march today

For those who cannot march
For those who have marched before
For those who have no idea that anyone can march
We march today

For you, if you would like
For ourselves
For the intersection of the sacred and the profane
We march today

To honor the past
To change the future
To live in the present
We march today

Presbyterians change their Constitution to allow gays and lesbians to become ordained!!

Happy Happy PRIDE!! And congratulations to all those who have worked so hard for so long!
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More Light Presbyterians Applaud General Assembly Action
PCUSA Welcomes All to Service in the Church
SAN JOSE, CA - June 27, 2008

More Light Presbyterians said a decision today by the 218th General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (USA) to lift its ban on ordination for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender persons is good news for Presbyterians and Christians across the country and world. "This is a great moment affirming God's love for all people. We are thankful to the Commissioners at this Assembly who upheld standards for leadership and service in our Church, and at the same time eliminated categorical discrimination that has denied ordination to LGBT persons based simply on who they are and who they fall in love with," said Michael J. Adee, Executive Director and Field Organizer for the organization.

The action by the General Assembly removes G.60106b from its Book of Order, the Constitution which governs the Church and replaces it with new language. Formerly, it required fidelity in marriage between a man and a woman or chastity in singleness to be eligible for ordination as deacons, elders or ministers. "The intent of this standard, passed over a decade ago, was to bar LGBT persons from full membership and service in our Church since marriage equality is not yet available to most in our country," Adee said. New language passed by the General Assembly reaffirms historic standards of the Church that focus on faith and character which has withstood the test of time, and did not exclude anyone based on sexual orientation, gender identity or marital status.

Looking to the Future
"A new spirit of acceptance and the recognition that we have many different kinds of families in our churches has taken hold," said Vikki Dearing, Co-Moderator. "This reflects the hearts and spirits of people in the pews. We rejoice with the many that will now be able to answer God's call to serve in our Church." We believe that God is doing a new thing in our Church. We believe that a more loving and welcoming Church is where the Spirit is taking us. We invite everyone who wants to know how to become a more welcoming and affirming place for all God's children to contact us. Together we are building a Church for all God's people!

Reaching Inside From the Outside - Ecclesiastes 6

Reaching Inside From the Outside - Ecclesiastes 6
Sermon from June 22, 2008

As most of you know, Sarah and I had a big decision to make last Sunday. Our cat, Skookie, has been struggling with kidney failure for the past year. We've been paying attention to her quality of life and her symptoms. The last couple of weeks I noticed her going off alone more than usual. There were other symptoms as well, but nothing that was enough to make us feel like we needed to bring her to the vet. This Sunday was different. We talked to the folks at the animal emergency hospital and decided we should spend the rest of the day together as a family. Monday morning we called Skookie's regular animal hospital and got an appointment for 12:30. After an examination and a discussion, Sarah, the doctor, and I decided it was time to help Skookie transition from this life to the next. The doctor left the three of us alone. We talked to Skookie, cried, and held each other. Then the doctor came back in with an assistant. Together we accompanied Skookie, and assisted her in her dying. We cried some more and held her now still body.

Before I talk about this experience in the context of our faith, I want to thank Sara Ross for taking over for me here (at church) and for her friendship and devotion to me and my family. Sara has been a constant and faithful friend for years. She is like a sister to me. I also want to thank Mark P. for his love, support, and encouragement. Next, I want to thank you all for your prayers and grace. We miss our little one. We commend her to The Holy and to Sarah's grandmother Marion. Every window sill in our home feels a little more empty than it did before. Each room has a little less energy. A few weeks ago, when I talked about feeling before healing, I really meant it. We are intentionally and actively feeling our loss even while at the same time we are grateful that Skookie is no longer suffering.

As I have been meditating on this experience, something that the doctor did became more and more meaningful to me. When she was examining Skookie, she did a number of things. She listened to our story about Skookie's symptoms, she took Skookie's temperature, and she palpated Skookie's body. The doctor did to our kitty what many doctors have probably done to each of us. She used her hands and reached toward Skookie's insides from outside her body. With her fingers, she detected a lump. There was something in our dear friend that should not have been there. The doctor said that she couldn't tell if this lump was inside the bladder, if it was an enlarged bladder, or if it was something inside the abdomen. In the doctor's professional opinion, for a 17 year old cat with kidney failure, it only mattered that there was a lump.

Through training, practice, and experience the doctor knew what the inside of our cat should have felt like. This is what I want to talk about today. I want to talk about reaching toward the inside from the outside. As people of faith I think we need to do this all the time. It is at least part of what faith is – reaching inside – not only seeing with our eyes or hearing with our ears. Certainly the doctor did all that. We need to do all that too. However, what we take in with our five senses is not enough. Jesus berated people for being able to observe and interpret the world with their five senses, but not be able to reach inside from the outside.

Luke 12:54-56
He also said to the crowds, "When you see a cloud rising in the west, you immediately say, 'It is going to rain'; and so it happens. And when you see the south wind blowing, you say, 'There will be scorching heat'; and it happens. You hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of earth and sky, but why do you not know how to interpret the present time?"

I think Jesus explains this difference between seeing and seeing in a section in Matthew.

Matthew 13:10 - 17
Then the disciples came and asked him, "Why do you speak to them in parables?" He answered, "To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given. For to those who have, more will be given, and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away. The reason I speak to them in parables is that 'seeing they do not perceive, and hearing they do not listen, nor do they understand.' With them indeed is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah that says: 'You will indeed listen, but never understand, and you will indeed look, but never perceive. For this people's heart has grown dull, and their ears are hard of hearing, and they have shut their eyes; so that they might not look with their eyes, and listen with their ears, and understand with their heart and turn - and I would heal them.' But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear. Truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, but did not see it, and to hear what you hear, but did not hear it."

In this passage, Jesus isn't just talking about a person's physical eyes and ears. He's talking about the eyes and ears of a person's soul or spirit.

The character of Solomon in the book of Ecclesiastes is very involved in experiencing the world and his life with his five senses, but both Jesus and Solomon do not limit their experiences to what they can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste in the tangible world.

The idea of a sixth sense is common. One pastor of mine called it "knowing with your knower." I like that phrase. I like the idea that we have a "knower." But I believe it is still too limiting to call it a sixth sense. For me, it's more like utilizing all five senses within the intangible realm. We can see in our spirit, taste in our spirit, touch and hear and smell in our spirit. When you walk into a room with people, if your physical vision is intact, you can see the people. But seeing the people with your physical eyes isn't the only way to experience them, is it? I bet you all, to one degree or another, have experienced a person looking at you without seeing them look at you. You can feel it. Have you ever turned your head for an unknown reason only to find yourself staring into the eyes of someone who was staring at you? Have you ever just "known" something was about to happen? Have you ever had to make a phone call to a friend and didn't know why until they answered and told you whatever story was on their heart? These are all examples of using our five senses with our spirits. We hear the cry of a friend in our soul. We feel the touch of someone's gaze.

Jesus experienced people this way too. The woman with the hemorrhage is the most obvious example. With all those people crowding around him how could he feel the power get pulled from his soul by this one woman who touched him for the very purpose of pulling that power?

As we read through Ecclesiastes; as we go about our day; as we discern who we are as a church … as a community; I implore us all to reach inside from the outside. Pay attention to those strange times when you know you know something; when you know you feel something; when you look at something and it doesn't actually look like what your eyes tell you it does. Just like Skookie's doctor, you don't always have to know exactly what it is that you are feeling. Sometimes it is enough to know simply that something is there. Other times we may be able to discern more specifically what is being sensed. It comes with practice, experience and some training. Our reading scripture together, my sharing what I see, our praying for each other, all of what we do together here and outside of these walls ... all these things are types of training, experience, and practice.

What I want to say more than anything is that we have this power! We are created with this power. It is part of who we are. Sure we misunderstand things sometimes. We don't always get the signs or the vibrations right. But we try again because we are made to reach inside from the outside. I think we need to peel away the layers of preconceived notions that we have ... of assumptions ... of sermons and teachings. When we read in Ecclesiastes that, "All human toil is for the mouth, yet the appetite is not satisfied. For what advantage have the wise over fools? And what do the poor have who know how to conduct themselves before the living?" ... when we read this, can we reach into it from the outside. Can we listen to it with our spirit as well as with our minds? Can we see the words beyond the words? Yes, I think we can. I have no doubt that we each can do this ... that we each bring a different perspective to these teachings and to our experiences. This is one reason we enjoy the participation of whosoever will in leading us in prayer and readings and communion. This power that we have been created with, to reach inside from the outside, gives glory our Divine Beloved and causes miracles to happen. It causes miracles to happen!

Reach out. Reach in. Reach around. Find your power. Find your gift. And share it with us.

Meaning Making - Ecclesiastes Chapter 4

This is the sermon that was preached at Grace Baptist of Chicago by Sara Ross, June 8, 2008.

Meaning Making by Sara Ross
Ecclesiastes Chapter 4

On this rather warm day I'd like to tell you a story that took place in the dead of winter. My friend shared this story with me one day about holiday depression. I'm going to call my friend Benny in order to keep his story his own. Benny shared with me something he did one very cold December day when he was in the depths of a holiday depression.

Benny found he couldn't face the many expectations that others put on him and that he put on himself relating to Christmas and New Year's. The holidays had become simultaneously overwhelming and yet meaningless to him the last couple of years. What he thought the point was had become lost and had been replaced with coercive good will and commercialism, which didn't lead to his good will at all.

Benny had learned in other years what he needed to do in these moments ... pretend his lack of energy to cope with the expectations of the holidays didn't exist at all, until his enthusiasm somehow did kick in.

On this particular day though his fake it until you make it method also seemed pointless. He stopped caring whether or not he did anything on his overwhelming list or if his lack of participation in family events upset anyone. He was desperate to connect to the spirit of Christmas again, so desperate that he put on several layers of clothes and his heavy coat and boots, left his house and got on the bus and headed downtown.

Now Benny really didn't know exactly what he was setting out to do, but he knew he needed to do something. No he was not going to put money in the Salvation Army can or wrap a toy and put it in the Toys for Tots collection. He'd done these sorts of things in years past. They were good, and necessary, but he instinctively knew he needed something different to happen today. He was desperate! He stopped and purchased a Dominicks grocery store gift card. He had no idea what exactly would happen, where he'd go, who he'd find to offer this card to. He just knew he needed to participate in something real, something life giving.

He got off the bus in the Loop and started combing the streets praying that he'd come upon the right situation, trusting that he wasn't out there for nothing. Well, this went on for about 2 hours, Benny was getting cold so he occasionally spent some time in stores and public buildings. On any other day in the Loop he would have been sure to come across someone in need of money or food, someone spending the day in the cold trying to get what he was hoping and needing to offer--where were they?? All he saw were people moving very quickly to stay out of the cold and to accomplish the missions they were on.

It may sound too perfect, like a scene in a Hollywood movie, but Benny told me it was true that he was on his way home feeling particularly foolish and hoping no one would ask him where he'd been that afternoon when something did finally happen. He came out of the side entrance to a building and turned toward the bus stop when he passed a woman on the sidewalk on crutches with a cast on her leg. After Benny passed her he heard a faint, "Sir can you help me get a sandwich, some change, anything?" To my surprise Benny told me he almost didn't stop! Two hours of looking for this moment, only now he's suddenly awkward and shy realizing his own vulnerability in the moment. After an eternal second or two, Benny took a deep breath, and turned around. He nervously pulled the gift card out of his front pocket wishing now he could just give her the card and keep moving, but what he was holding required conversation.

The words fell out of his mouth, "I don't have any change, but you can take this if you want, it's got $20 on it, if you can get to a Dominicks from here."
The woman laughed, "You're joking, for real? This has got money on it?
"Yes."
"And I don't need to show them ID or anything?"
"Nope just give it to them at the check out." Benny told her.
"For real?" she asked again.
"You know where you can find a Dominicks?"
"Well yes, I do, I can get to one thanks."

Benny smiled a smile of relief at the woman, glad she finally believed him and he turned and walked toward the bus stop. He watched her get on a different bus with the change others' had given her. He knew he probably would never see her again. He wasn't forging an ongoing relationship with this individual, but his relationship with the universe had changed somehow. And the holidays seemed less pointless. Benny told me he now does some version of this ritual every December.

In Chapter 4 of Ecclesiastes, the living still have to face the disturbing reality of all the evil that is done under the sun. AnnMarie has spoken the last week or two about the importance of learning how to sit in the tension of feeling our pain and our joy, of integrating the two at the same time. Of embracing joy even in the midst of pain and the seeming pointlessness of all we do under the sun, not ignoring the pain, but seeking to find a balance. Seeking to find a faithful, even hopeful response to what we see. The author of Ecclesiastes offers as one of his responses: seeing our toil in the context of community.

Are you familiar with the bumper sticker, "Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty"? This quote was originally coined by peace activist Anne Herbert. She wrote it on a placemat in a restaurant back in the early 80's and the ripples began of a movement that has had far reaching effects.

A random act of kindness is a selfless act performed by a person or persons wishing to either assist or cheer up an individual. They can be either spontaneous or planned in advance.
Some examples of very simple random acts might be:
• giving another driver your parking space when you got there first
• snow shoveling out your parking spot and the car behind yours
• bringing your co-worker a cup of coffee in the morning just the way they like it
• placing a coin in an expired parking meter
• saying hello to people you pass on the street
• complimenting a stranger about something they're wearing, maybe even during that awkward moment in an elevator.

Some of these are related to money when we have it to offer, but some require no financial abundance. This is really about how we move about in the world, as people and especially as people of faith. Consciously and faithfully choosing movement that helps to foster an environment of meaning in what can often appear a meaningless world.

Random acts of kindness are not random because they lack intention, but because they are not based on the obligations of a previously established relationship. Because of this, they encourage more belief in the possibility of future relationship and a communal sense of being in the world. They have the simple yet awesome power to break through a sense of aloneness and isolation.

If you Google Random Acts of Kindness on the internet you will find that there is a network of people from many different walks of life reclaiming communal meaning in their daily lives by sharing their own experiences of this concept. You can find example after example of acts people have thought of that have had an impact. People share acts they have done as well as when they have experienced someone offering them a random act of kindness.

When I find myself discouraged and believe we are losing the good fight, that all there is is bad news out there, futile chasing after of wind in the face of overwhelming oppression, suffering and pointlessness in the world, I find hope in the sharing found among people in these networks. These people are seeking to find creative simple ways to embrace community and set a greater sense of community in motion.

Something significant about Benny's story is that it was about more than a charitable act performed by someone who remained isolated from the person he was helping. Benny went out that day because he knew he needed something too. His choice required him to be active in finding this connection, it required him to then talk to someone, to be vulnerable in some way, and to trust the Spirit to lead him to this encounter.

He was reclaiming something he'd lost. His response to meaninglessness was to seek a sense of community.

Community happens not when we wring our hands and lament its absence, but when individuals dare to talk to each other, dare to care about each others' days. And yes, dare to risk being considered foolish.

The world is transformed when we seek to do kindness. We are transformed when we seek to do kindness, when we risk being kind in what is often an unkind world. The author of Ecclesiastes has found some respite from the demoralizing effects of the oppression and seeming pointlessness he observes around him in the idea of the two and the strength of a three fold chord. Connecting and joining in community and intimate relationship.

Jesus states, "Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them."(Matthew 18:20) Experiencing the presence of Christ in our lives is integrally related to gathering in community and moving about in the world with a sense of community. Christ's spirit is found in the 2 and the 3.

Have you experienced a random act of kindness this week? Have you performed one? In John 10:10 Jesus states, "I came that you might have life and have it abundantly." Let's consider how such acts of kindness can truly have an impact on our communal sense of the abundant life we share together and how we can be visible evidence and offerers of this abundance.

If greater community is not the result of the toil we do under the sun each day then yes, it is ultimately vanity. Only in community do work and reward find an integral connection. Only in community do pain and joy find the same. And only community gives us true rest and support from our toil.

As we collect our offering I invite you to consider what act of kindness you might offer this week to the greater community we inhabit. I invite you in your spirit to place that act in the basket as we dedicate our offerings to God.

GFest - gayWise LGBT Art Festival - in London - Nov 2008

GFest - gayWise LGBT Art Festival - in London - Nov 2008 - We are now accepting submissions online on the GFest website (link above & below).

For submission forms you can directly go to :

Please click here to submit Short Films

Please click here to submit Visual Art works

Please click here to submit your Performance pieces

We will be grateful if you can forward this email amongst interested networks & other Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender artists/ Performers & Filmmakers that you know.

Look forward to seeing you at GFest 08 & Many thanks.

Wise Thoughts . gayWise Team

www.wisethoughts.org / www.gaywisefestival.org.uk

Wood Green Central Library, 2nd Floor, High Road, Wood Green, London N22 6XD

Tel: 020 8889 9555 Email: info@wisethoughts.org

Company Reg. No.: 3758786 Charity Reg. No.: 1077616

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Patrons: Baroness Prashar CBE, Lord Dholakia OBE, Lord Patel, Baroness Massey, Jon Snow, Baroness Flather, Stephen Twigg

Eat, Drink, and Be Merry

This is a sermon from June 1, 2008. The text is Ecclesiastes 2:18 – 3:22.

We are continuing our reading and examination of Ecclesiastes that we started last week. The first chapter and a half led me to talk about Feeling Before Healing – that it is important for us to stand in the pain of whatever, face it, and take care of it. We need to embrace our pain and love it because it is part of who we are. All of that is still what I believe.

This week, in the reading, there is still pain and frustration evident in the words of the character of Solomon. He has come to a new place – a new decision about how to deal with it all. He says that the best thing to do, and what God has given us to do, is to eat, drink, and enjoy your work. Some translations say, “Eat, drink, and be merry.” We are to nourish ourselves, and enjoy our toil. That’s what I want to talk about first. Second, I want to talk briefly about the poem at the beginning of chapter 3 … For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven. Third, I want to talk about this being June – Pride month.

It is important to me that we not diminish this teaching of “eat, drink, and be merry,” by creating an either/or scenario – EITHER we feel our pain OR we eat, drink, and be merry. Instead I believe this is a both/and teaching. We need to feel our pain while we nourish ourselves and enjoy what it is we have to do in this life. That’s the challenge – feeling the pain, acknowledging the frustration and anger, nourishing ourselves, and enjoying life. When Philippians 4 teaches us to, “Rejoice in the Lord always,” I believe it is repeating this lesson. Can it be done?

Can we get to that place of overarching joy or happiness or satisfaction or whatever it may be, while we are suffering some kind of pain, sorrow, frustration, or anger? Can we totally live in the moment? What does it take to do this? Isn’t this what almost every self-help book claims to have the secret to? I am not making that kind of claim. I am saying that I believe it is possible to live such a life. I think that Jesus is one of the known teachers who accomplished this kind of life. And I believe that the character of Solomon is striving for this kind of balance, wisdom, and harmony. I am also saying that I am willing to struggle with you through this book to see if we can find points of balance, wisdom, and harmony for ourselves – both individually and as a community.

So, what might it take to live integrated without our joy and our pain – with being contented and yet being frustrated? Usually we put these emotions at opposite ends of each other. We chart or rate how we feel on a scale of happy to sad or content with discontent. How does what Ecclesiastes is suggesting change that paradigm? How does it shift our expectations?

Maybe there are multiple scales. There might be an overarching scale or a foundation and then offshoot scales like job, relationship, nuclear family, alone time … stuff like that. Is one overlaid on top of another and which ever feels strongest is how we end up feeling? Or maybe we have a default scale that overrides the others unless one of the others breaks or is extremely intense. Are these linear scales or are the cyclical?

I don’t know. There are lots of theories out there. Tons of theories. I favor cyclical theories over linear ones, but I don’t know. I think we can examine these things and expound on them for as long as we have breath and while there may be some benefit to be had from such exercises, I think mostly they are just exercises. Ecclesiastes is saying, “Things are not right! There are a lot of things that I can’t control and it ticks me off! The best that I can do is to find work that I enjoy and do it, eat, and drink.”

I want you all to know that I have found work that I enjoy. Being your interim pastor fills my heart with good things. I want to walk this journey of discernment with you. Not all of us are fortunate to have work that we like. Sometimes we have to make the best of a situation and find something fulfilling – some work that maybe our capitalist society would call a hobby – and enjoy ourselves there. I don’t believe we can count on the analysis or the understanding of how it works or why it is thus and such. We need to simply live it and feel it and breathe it.

It is difficult to hold on to your pain and hold on to your joy at the same time. We tend to feel guilty if we experience joy while we are in a painful situation. The truth is, I think, that we need to breathe, and joy and happiness give us breathing room. There are people who live their lives bitter and angry. Some of them don’t even know that at their core they have a pain that has festered into bitterness. These things come out in all sorts of ways, but if they don’t come out intentionally then they are just festering. The character of Solomon, through holy Wisdom, is intentionally speaking out what is causing him pain and working on how to live in a way that is pleasing to God. Verses 24 and 25 say, “There is nothing better for mortals than to eat, drink, and find enjoyment in their toil. This, also, I saw, is from the hand of God; for apart from God who can eat or who can have enjoyment?”

Here is a poem that has meant a lot to me over the years. It was written by a woman named Oriah.

“The Invitation.”

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts’ longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

I doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

I’m going to let that stand on its own and move on to the last two things I want to touch on briefly – “For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven,” and Pride month.

For years I held this poetic section of Ecclesiastes about there being a time for everything close to my heart. It was the way that I made sense of life. If there was one thing in the Bible that I could count on, it was this poem. Then one day I was talking to a friend about this and she kind of burst my bubble. She said something like, “I don’t think there is ever a time for a woman or a child to be raped, or for people to starve. I think there are lots of things there isn’t a time for.” Well crud, I thought. She’s right. I wanted some kind of formula, and I wasn’t going to have one. That was about three years ago, and I still don’t have a formula. I’m ok with that now. This poem does offer a lot of latitude in the way we can perceive things though. It isn’t the formula that I once thought it to be, but it is a good way to frame many many ways of being and thinking. It’s a beautiful poem that gives us permission to be fully ourselves – to dance and to mourn; to keep and to throw away; to speak and to be silent; to love and to hate – and the list goes on.

There is another way to consider this poem. What if this poem isn’t about saying that to everything there is a “right time” … but instead maybe it is acknowledging that all these things do exist and have their time, even if they take it by force. We have to divorce ourselves from the popular song, Turn, Turn, Turn to see it this way. The emphasis in the Pete Seger song is for world peace; for an end to war. But right in the poem there says that there is a time for war. What if this poem is only pointing out that all these things co-exist, and no value is being placed on any of these things? While it is true that verse 11 says, “God has made everything suitable for its time,” I have to wonder if that is truly the value the author believes or if it is a way to try to make sense of his world. In other worlds, the author, like myself a few years ago, wanted something to hang on to … a formula. The idea that God made everything suitable is quickly followed by more talk of justice and wickedness not being in their proper or expected places, and that we mortals should just try to find some enjoyment in our lives.

Finally, it is Pride Month here in Chicagoland. What is it to be proud? What is it to be queer? We each have our definitions. Mostly I want to encourage everyone to think about what makes you proud and what makes you queer; whoever you are, even if you are in the majority regarding your sexual orientation or gender identity.

Regarding Ecclesiastes and queerness I want to say this – what the author of this book does is turn the conventional wisdom of his time on its head. The author is constantly saying that what they thought they knew no longer makes sense. As queer people of faith – and I count heterosexual gender normative allies in the queer mix – we turn the conventional wisdom of our time on its head too. There are many who say that we can’t possible be children of The Holy, and yet we can testify how The Holy is living and breathing in wonderful positive ways through us. Even if the only testimony that we can muster right now is that we still have our community of Grace Baptist Church that, I believe, is a powerful testimony.

There are other ways that Ecclesiastes speaks to queerness, and over the next few weeks they will come up. But for this week let us remember that it isn’t the analysis alone that helps us become integrated. This week let’s live intentionally at the intersections of our lives. Let’s try to eat, drink, and enjoy what we do. Let’s be proud of who we are and above all let’s remember that we, like the character of Solomon, turn conventional wisdom on its head. We embody the truth of The Holy.

Feeling Before Healing

This is the sermon from May 25, 2008. The text is Ecclesiastes 1:12 – 2:17.

We’re going to be picking away at Ecclesiastes for the next few weeks. It will be interesting to see where this takes us during Pride month. Ecclesiastes has been an important book for me during transitions in my life, and since we are in an interim phase I thought I’d pull it out again.

There are many things that I like about this book. It addresses confusion and injustice without being overly concerned about being politically correct; it contradicts itself with a self-awareness you don’t see in many other biblical writings; and it isn’t afraid of being sad and staying sad. I know that may not sound encouraging to some people, but when you’re sad – which everyone is sometimes – we don’t always want someone trying to cheer us up. Romans 12:15 teaches us to “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” So often we hear the sound of crying and immediately respond out of a desire to fix things. It’s also true though that Proverbs 17:22 says, “A merry heart does good like a medicine,” but I think that sometimes we go too quickly into dispensing the medicine. First we need a little storytelling, a little commiserating, a little solidarity in the struggle. We get some of this in our own meeting here during our prayer covenant time. It’s a powerful thing to share our struggles and our woes as well as our joys. It’s powerful to contradict ourselves in a self-aware kind of way. This is how we figure things out. This is how we come to wholeness.

The book before Ecclesiastes is the book of Proverbs. Proverbs is very invested in teaching how to be good, wise, and industrious so that you please God and have a long life. Evil, foolish, and lazy people, while they may experience some gain or joy here on earth, are promised to be scorned by God and die young. It has been purported that Solomon wrote both of these books; although now scholars are saying that he probably didn’t really write either of them. But looking at these writings side by side, imagining them being written as if by Solomon, we see a possible progression of thought. First Solomon as a young man – or maybe a middle age man – and he’s got it all figured out. He has the answers and gives instructions on how to live a good and upright life. If you follow these rules you’ll be golden. Then Solomon gets a bit older. He takes a look at life and notices that it isn’t always as easy as his instructions claim it is. He reflects on his life and comes up with different conclusions. Not only are his answers not cut and dried, but his questions aren’t even that clear. No longer are there judgments against “foolishness” or praise for “wisdom.” Instead we are told that neither foolishness nor wisdom make any difference at all. And why is that? Because “the same fate befalls all of them.” And that fate that he sees at this point is death.

It’s tempting for me to rush forward and talk about the hope that I find in this book. There are themes that are only hinted at in this beginning section. I am no different from anyone else, wanting to rush in and heal the pain or fix the problem when I should be listening to the story, feeling the pain, and learning about the problem. I will refrain from jumping ahead and I’ll attempt to let the book unfold for us … to speak for itself as much as possible.

And what it’s speaking about right now is how this person conducted research into what it means to be alive and found pointlessness and death to be its sum total. It say that he conducted research because he claims that everything he did, he did intentionally – he did keeping his wisdom – even when he was being foolish. (I make that claim too sometimes.) But let’s believe that this person actually kept their wits about them while they were taking pleasure in all that they did; amassed great wealth and freedom; oppressed those more unfortunate than himself; and ended up hating life. It’s hard to feel sorry for him when it’s put that way, isn’t it? He sounds a little spoiled. But keeping in mind that this is an experiment to learn something about the core value of living – what did he end up with? Sorrow, hopelessness, and bitterness. Can we sit with him in this? Can we learn from his experiment?

It would be an easy answer, especially for me as a preacher, to say that the reason he ended up sorrowful, hopeless, and bitter is because he had neglected God. He went off to explore wisdom and foolishness on his own, neglected his spiritual life, and only received superficial gains that did not feed his soul. While that sounds nice and religious, I think it is way too simple. After all, he did give himself to Wisdom. What is Wisdom? First, Wisdom is personified in Proverbs as a woman. Second, Wisdom is not defined as being merely smart and savvy. Proverbs says this in chapter 8:22 – 36. I’m keeping the masculine language intact bearing in mind that the voice who is speaking is the voice of the woman Wisdom.

"The Lord brought me forth as the first of his works, before his deeds of old; I was appointed from eternity, from the beginning, before the world began. When there were no oceans, I was given birth, when there were no springs abounding with water; before the mountains were settled in place, before the hills, I was given birth, before he made the earth or its fields or any of the dust of the world. I was there when he set the heavens in place, when he marked out the horizon on the face of the deep, when he established the clouds above and fixed securely the fountains of the deep, when he gave the sea its boundary so the waters would not overstep his command, and when he marked out the foundations of the earth. Then I was the craftswoman at his side. I was filled with delight day after day, rejoicing always in his presence, rejoicing in his whole world and delighting in mortals.

Now then, listen to me; blessed are those who keep my ways. Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not ignore it. Blessed are you who listen to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. For whoever finds me finds life and receives favor from the Lord. But whoever fails to find me harms himself; all who hate me love death."

That’s Wisdom. She is spiritual and holy. She describes herself in ways that are amazingly similar to the ways that Jesus describes himself, and is described by others. That the writer of Ecclesiastes says he was functioning in wisdom, and given that we are going along with the premise that the writers of these books are intended to be understood as being Solomon, tells me that we should understand who Wisdom is according to the definition of Proverbs. Solomon was not neglecting his spiritual life – he was trying to find a depth that he had lacked all his life.

His religious practice and easy answers were not enough to sustain him. He needed to find out why he was … why things were created … what was the point. What he found increased his distress. Our reading today ends with him hating life because everything is grievous and meaningless like a vapor. And that’s where we’re going to end today … feeling this loss, feeling this distress. I believe that we must feel before we can heal. We must tell our stories and face the pain. We must keep the conversation going, no matter how hard and uncomfortable it gets. That doesn’t mean we become contentious with each other trying to start fights. It means that we go deep and find the truth of who we are in this moment.

I also want to share that the book of Ecclesiastes doesn’t end here. Our reading for today ends here, but the book goes on for awhile. I am not suggesting a life of wallowing in pain, but if we don’t first deal with the reality of the moment we will not end up whole in the future. I think that’s true regarding the way our country deals with racism, classism, and heterosexism, the way our families and our faith community deal with conflict, and the way we deal with our own personal disappointments.

Grab a hold of Wisdom this week. She may not look like what you think she will, but when you find her, take hold with both hands. Then look at everything, feel everything, try everything. What happens? Okay, so maybe you can’t do all that in one week… but you can start. Mindfully move through your week and let yourself look, feel, and try. Don’t fix anything – just observe and feel. Remember that it doesn’t end here; it’s where we begin.